I'm sorry you are having troubles with your tank. It is sometimes hard to keep a goldfish tank clean even with smaller fish.

We all know you are trying your best. There is only so much you can do, though. Don't beat yourself up about this.

If she needs to go to a pond, then you need to rest easy and know she will be happy in her native environment, and will have all the room to grow that she will ever need.

You are trying hard and doing the right thing. That's all anyone can do.