(Sorry about the language Karen! I was upset and I was typing it all really fast cuz I was at school. I didn't have time to go back and fix it once I reread it. )

That's just the thing. I don't want to drink, I just want to go to this party and meet people and have fun. I was really shy my whole life up until a few years ago and I kinda just want to let go and have fun and finally be able to talk to people.

Mom still hasn't spoken to me. She'll be real happy to find out that I'm staying at dad's tonight cuz he's making my favorite, grilled cheese.

Also found out that Nate, the kid who beat me for first chair, was doing quite a bit of boasting after I left. I've beaten him two years in a row and never ONCE made a rude comment or a snappy remark about it. NEVER. Why does that make it okay for him to be a jerk to me?

I don't know what to do anymore. I hope Butch at least calls tonight so I can get his opinion on the Max thing and the party deal... THEN I'm getting my fleece blanket, my book and some water. (No pop for me! I'm dieting. )

Speaking of dieting, I think I'm doing well! I don't have a scale around because the one at my mom's is broke and well, my dad... finds no need in a scale. But I was at my grandma's the other day and my grandma asked if I had lost weight and then my grandpa said, "I was going to say the same thing, a lonngg time ago, but I never did." So yay! I really want to weigh myself, lol.

Ooh, and my book. It's called Running With Scissors by... Augusten Barrough or something? It's quite good so far, it's an autobiography. It's very funny and a little strange, but it's coming out in theaters soon so I wanted to read it before I see the movie.

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I still don't know what I'm going to do about the party...