Looking at the photos of Shemp that you have posted, it is obvious that he had a wonderful life with you and thoroughly enjoyed it. I am very sorry for the pain you are feeling now at your loss and hope that in time you can look at those same photos and just enjoy the fact that you shared your life with him and no guilt at all. Jane Goodall wrote a wonderful essay on grief in which she said that although she felt deeply saddened when one of the chimpanzees she knew died, she felt real grief only when one of her dogs died - and that was because there was guilt mixed in with the sadness. Guilt that she couldn't protect them from anything happening to them ever, and it was based on special bond she had with them.