Just a few follow ups...

NILIF is definitely a wonderful way to go because, as Giselle said, it is a gentle way to assert yourself as the leader and the dogs learn that you are the owner of all the good things and they have to please you in order to earn them. Plus, it can boost their confidence. When we first got Ginger home she was an absolute basket case, afraid of everything. She growled in fear of my husband for the first two weeks we had her. We almost gave her away but decided we needed to stick it out. Then, a month or two after we got her I learned about NILIF and boy did it make a difference! Ginger started gaining confidence because she was learning and performing and getting rewarded.

When it comes to being the pack leader, it's definitely not an easy thing to do for most people. I'm the same way you are when I come home and have been away from my babies all day, all I want to do is cuddle and play with them, even though I know I shouldn't. I've had behaviorists and my vet tell me that the best thing to do when you leave and enter the house is to just ignore the dogs. Especially when returning home, just walk in and go about your business for at least 5 minutes or so. Then, when the dogs are calmed down, call them to you for petting and affection (but make them sit first!). It's totally opposite of how we humans are, but it communicates a simple, direct message to the dogs that you are the alpha, you come and go as you please and they can't demand your attention but you can demand theirs. And they're ok with it. Despite the emotions we put on our dogs, they're programmed to accept a pack hierarchy so acting that way is just natural to dogs and they accept and understand it.

I have to admit, though, that I am definitely not consistent with this. it's so hard when I see their happy little tails wagging when I walk in the door! I guess that's my one little spot to not follow the rules.

As far as these efforts being time consuming, I suppose they are. But like you said, not any more time consuming than dealing with all the problem behaviors. The trick is just to make it a part of your daily routine. Even though I'm bad about wanting to love on my dogs right when I walk in the door, I do try to have rules of behavior for every activity. And as time has gone on, I've found that it doesn't really take the dogs all that long to learn the rules, and once they learn them, as long as I am consistent in asking them to do the same things every time it ends up making things so nice and structured and mannerly! They learn to anticipate things like meal time and go straight to their spot and sit and wait for dinner like they know I want them to. When I reach for the leashes, they know to sit and wait for me to put the leashes on. Not jumping all over me getting all excited. So it does take a time investment to train the new behaviors and stick with them their whole lives, but in the long run your life ends up being much happier and your home much more tranquil.