NevadaKitty,
Oh dear, reading your story this morning has me feeling so many emotions. I don't know what to say. It must have been unbelievably hard for you to write. But it can be cathartic too, and I hope that you'll stick around Pet Talk. I know you are grieving now. But when you can, come and just type whatever you are feeling. No one here will have that attitude of "getting a new cat to forget the old one" Some of us have also had losses and it is so painful. Each is unique and precious, as are the people I’ve met on this site. We are here for you, and my PM box is open.
Zoey