Thank you so very much, everyone. It really means a lot to me. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I really tried to not stress out too much since i'm still in my first trimester, but I just could not see him suffer any longer. He was having a hard time breathing and he was ready. He gave me the look that said he was ready.

The morning before I took him I offered him food many times and he turned his nose up at everything. I gave him a nice, long brush outside. He loved being brushed. I also put his new bandana from granny (my mom) on him so he felt handsome and he had a piece of my mom with him since she couldn't be here to say goodbye.

The doctor gave him a tranqualizer to calm him, even though he was very calm to begin with. He wanted it to be as gentle and peaceful as possible. He brought in a girl to hold him while he preformed the procedure and I told him that i wanted to hold him, so she went away after hugging me. I held him as I promised him I would. He went so peacefully in my arms but it hurts so bad. I still can't believe he's gone. I will never, ever forget his little stubble wag when he was happy. Oh how I miss that already. He had the most precious little stubble bottom.

I miss him so bad. It really hurts. My heart is broken. I know he's in a better place and free from his pain, but I want him with me.