Oh sweetheart you are neither lazy or selfish - you are a mother. I remember going back to work after having Katie and it was such a wrench at the beginning but it was the best for both of us. She made a lot of friends and learnt so much at the creche and I was able to talk to grown ups for a few hours a day. I do feel for you and hope that you find a solution and that Josh will be a little more understanding.

As for not being able to stop crying - I think this is also a reaction to your sad news last week