So, how do I find this farmer? I want to go down there and get a kitten to come and hang out with me up here in the North.

Oh no! My wife just looked over my shoulder and now she is shreiking, "Frost! Frost! Frosty! Frog! What are you thinking! Look at all these cats hanging out with you right now! 400 is enough! You don't need another cat buddy! Darn it, Frog! No more!"

Now, the black cat is on my shoulder, brandishing his claws threateningly, as if to say, "I am here, and I am more than enough, even if it were just me and not these other 399 ridiculous blokes and blokettes!"

Oh, dear! Sweet, beautiful, tummy-rubbable, Maggie (I dare anyone to try to rub the black cat's tummy!)! I guess I will just have to dream about your tummy rubs from afar.

You could always come up and pay me a visit, so that I could rub your tummy.

Ha! Here I am, extending a written invitation to a cat, a cat who can't even read!

Tomorrow, I will check myself in. I hope they have good food, there - and that they don't mind me bringing 400 cats along. If they won't allow the 400 cats, then I won't check in at all. I will just stay home.

Everybody needs their 400 cats.