Oh Robin, I know how you must be feeling. I'm so so sorry. I feel like crying just reading your post, and knowing how much you are hurting. I wish I could give you a big warm hug. Please don't blame yourself. Sometimes things just happen that are beyond our control, you really did the best you could. I know that just seems like small consolation right now. I wish I could offer more, but I truly feel I empathize with what you are feeling right now and wish so much I could numb the pain for you.

Just take a deep breath and try to do something relaxing if you can. Turn on the TV a bit or read a book or burn a scented candle nearby, maybe have a cup of hot coffee/tea/cocoa or something soothing. I'd give you a nice shoulder massage if I could, help relax you . All my love to you Robin. You know you are always welcome to call me too if you ever need to talk.

Love,
Jess