I am hoping this doesn't sound too harsh but I really think you are over committed and have too many dogs for your circumstances. First, you already realize you are not "top dog" in your pack. Second, you have a husband who doesn't help with the dogs and third, you have too many dogs for the long hours of work you put in. If you can't spend the time with them that they require, then perhaps they need to be rehomed into an environment that has the time to devote to their needs.

Your dog(s) being destructive is a sign that they are not being exercised and trained properly and unless you can devote more time to exercise and training, your problem will not go away and it could become a stumbling block in your marriage. From my own experience of training dogs there are certain dogs that are more high maintenance than others and it sounds like you have at least one. I own two and know that with everything else going on in my life, it would not be fair to bring another one into our house even though I would love to. I say that knowing that I am top dog in my house and that I do know how to train dogs. I can imagine someone who is just learning and has three, at least one who is very high maintenance.

Please know that I am not saying this to be critical. I am just stating the obvious and thinking of not only the dogs well being but also yours. It is very hard to worry about what you are going to find when you come home when there is a destructive dog in the house. It would be different if your husband was more active with the dogs and could help out but I also come from that environment and know that it probably won't change.