I'd love to have just had the party myself, but the fact of the matter is that Josh and I weren't planning on having any Nuggets for another few years so money is spread extremely thin as it is. We cannot afford hosting a party ourselves. It's not just the high school friends that she didn't want there - it was ANY person of the male persuasion. Josh and I wanted a fun get-together with friends and family. His uncles are a blast to hang out with. We wanted EVERYONE important to us to be at this party, not just women (some of which I can't even stand). I was asked what we wanted for food - I said pizza and beer (obviously no beer for me). THAT is Josh and me - laidback, not pretentious. MIL decides to rent out a room at a local Italian restaurant and serve fancy pasta dishes (Josh hates Italian food - see how "in tune" she is with catering to other people's wants/needs?). Anyway, we just don't have the money to have a party. We usually have a bunch of our friends over once every football season to watch the Ravens and we had to bow out of our turn this year because of finances.

Josh refuses to get in the middle of it. When I told him how I felt, he said "Whatever" and that was that. I can understand that he doesn't want to get involved, so all I ask is that if/when his mother complains to him he back ME up whether or not he agrees with my views.

My mom has already contacted MIL and told her that it's off. I'm waiting for the fireworks and expecting a call from either my mom or MIL or both tonight. My mom is cool - she completely understands how I feel and has apologized a billion times for letting it "get away" from her. I hold no grudges against her - she doesn't understand how MIL works like I do.

And just sucking it up and going is not an option. MIL kowtows to the current "matriarch" of the family and is priming herself to take that position over once the current one is out of the picture. She wants me to kowtow to her and I absolutely REFUSE to perpetuate this manipulation for another generation. If I don't stand up to her now, she will expect me to do whatever she says for good and I'm not like that. Josh and I are our own family, we are adults, and we do not need to be treated like we are children. I've given in enough to her in the past - if I keep it up, she'll expect it even more... and it just ain't happenin'.