Kim, I am sorry to hear that you are so stressed and that your daughter is giving you a hard time. I can tell you from personal experience, I was one of those kids, the one my poor parents probably spent hours and hours if not days, weeks, months of their lives worrying about. I defied authority every chance I could find. It sounds like your daughter is going through that "phase" in her life also. But because she has a good family support system behind her, I am sure she will be fine in the long run. My advice however, would be to schedule an appointment with a gynecologist to get her tested and/or on birth control. Teenagers have no concept of consequences and think they are invincible as I'm sure you know. If she is having sex, you cannot stop her but you can protect her. My mother sent both my sister and I to the dr when I was 18 and my sister 16. It was embarassing and very controversial at the time. Many of her friends did not agree and my father never knew but it was the best thing she did for me. I scraped through my teenage/college years with barely a scratch thanks to my strong upbringing, good family and a little luck.
Just drop an appointment card in her room/purse or something, don't make a big deal of it you know? Offer her a ride maybe but no criticism or judgment. That will just turn her the other way I think.
I'm sorry I can't look at your pictures on this computer but I'm sure they are marvelous. Remember, you are a great mother. Don't lose faith in yourself or your family. This is just another bump in the road of life...
Let me know if you need Duncan and I to come there the straighten her out! I have a "way" with teens (I really do! They tend to listen to me for some odd reason) and Duncan has his own, um, er, let's say "threatening" ways of making people pay attention!!