I want to thank everyone who responded.

I thought I was doing well, but then today I got a call from the clinic that his ashes are ready to be picked up and I started crying again. I still haven't gone to get them. I really wish Alexa were able to go with me, but she is out of the country for the next month. Tomorrow is my day off, I think I will go then. When Alexa gets back we will take him to Mt Lemmon and spread his ashes.