Why do people say such hurtful things to me?

[luckies4me]

" brush your teeth...they are so yellow...and your hair is so flat and lifeless...need bangs to hide that big forehead"

Some guy I know emailed me this. I don't understand. I don't have money to cut my hair. I already know I am ugly, have a big forehead and need my teeth whitened. If I had the money I would do it but I don't. But why does someone have to say this to me? I haven't even done anything to this person. I know him in real life.

[Palomino21]

luckies4me,

Unfortunatly there are mean people in this world but not to forget also some really nice and caring people. I would not let what that guy say bother you because it only matters what you feel about yourself. Getting a haircut, whitening your teeth does not make a person beautiful, though having money to do those things can be nice but not required to be pretty. I wouldn't give that guy the benefit of making you upset. Hope you feel better.

Annie

[LorraineO]

tha main reason ppl pick on others is because they themselves have no self esteem and by trying to make others feel worse then they do makes them feel better..... do yourself and us a favour,,, DONT let him feel better....

you are a beautiful person inside and out. you have feelings and they count.....

Beauty fades with time,, but true beauty lasts a lifetime.

[chelsea]

I know how you feel, before I got laid-off from work I had started to gain weight, I got rude comments about it made to me almost dailey. Mostly from the men. I think people sometimes do it to make theirselves feel better about themself but it's still hurtful. Try not to let him get you down, I know it's hard.

[luckies4me]

Thanks you guys. It just makes me so mad. I have never once done anything to this person and I thought we were friends. Apparently I was wrong. Thanks for the kind words everyone. You guys are the best!

[lynnestankard]

Why do people think it's fine to abuse other people in this manner? It makes so so angry.
Ignore this rude, immature geek!

{{{Hugs}}}}

Lynne

[GraciesMommy]

Thats a shame that he feels he has to belittle you to make himself feel better..obviously HE has issues, not you..

[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by luckies4me
" brush your teeth...they are so yellow...and your hair is so flat and lifeless...need bangs to hide that big forehead"

I'd tell this guy to get a personality makeover and become a gentleman. No woman is ever ugly. We are all beautiful in our own ways. (by the way that quote came out of my fiance's mouth when he read your post.) Don't do things because people tell you to. Do it for yourself. If you want to get your hair cut see if there is a beauty school near by and they give you a discount rate, and if you drink soda or coffee (like me) then you're going to have a yellow tint or your teeth because of the caffine.

But in all honesty surga I'd tell him to bug off. I just really dislike stupid men.

[Karen]

He obviously has some need to hurt other people to make himself feel better! Explain to him that you DO brush your teeth, and that you are "growing out" your hair until it's long enough for the style you really want.

Then tell him that he may think you are ugly (he's wrong, but that's not my point), but he was mean, and beauty is on the surface, but meanness goes straight to the core. There is nothing as ugly as a mean person, no matter their physical attributes.

There is nothing as beautiful as kindness.

[robinh]

Wow, you need to avoid this guy big time. He has serious issues. I cannot believe the cruelty of people sometimes.

Please don't believe anything he says - you are a good, kind, beautiful person. I refuse to believe anyone who loves animals as much as you do is ugly. Not possible.

[catnapper]

I know, I got those comments EVERY DAY -to my face - at work! I was always too heavy, had frizzy hair, wore the wrong makeup, wore ugly clothes (and to this day I swear my clothes were just fine... just not deisgner duds they expected.)and so on. Anything I did, ate, said was subject to critisicm. Just ignore t he comments, and when you get back on your feet, you can proove them wrong.

As for the bangs - you can cut them yourself... just take your hair in the amount you want and lay it across your forehead. Then lay a pice of tape across your forhead. Reposition as neccessary to get it straight. Then cute along the tape. No mess, no fuss, no screw-ups! I have never once gotten my bangs cut proffessionally and never had crooked or funky looking bangs. Do you have a friend you trust to cut the back?

If he's complaining about lifeless hair, learn to do a french braid. That will be your new daily hair, and nobody can complain about a neat, clean, crisp braid. Thats how I wore my hair EVERY day for over a year. It takes seconds to do once you've mastered it and everyone likes the look.

And for years before all the tooth whitening stuff came into popularity, I always rinsed my toothbrush in peroxide before applying toothpaste. Its less than $1 bottle and will last forever.

[Tonya]

Without a doubt, I'd never speak to that guy again. You don't need people like that in your life. If you keep him in your life, over time, he's going to break you down. That's abusive and horrible. You are beautiful Cass, that guy is the one with issues.

[sammy101]

ive seen pictures of you before and your beautiful!Just ignore him,you dont need someone like that in your life.

Sam

[kimlovescats]

First of all, no "friend" would say these things to you ... he's a JERK! Second, I would not change myself for anyone! If YOU feel these things about yourself, and want to try and improve them, then do so, if not ... then just love and respect yourself the way you are and go on! (without the jerk)

((((HUGS))))
Kim

[jazzcat]

Originally posted by kimlovescats
First of all, no "friend" would say these things to you ... he's a JERK! Second, I would not change myself for anyone! If YOU feel these things about yourself, and want to try and improve them, then do so, if not ... then just love and respect yourself the way you are and go on! (without the jerk)

((((HUGS))))
Kim

Amen to that!!!! Don't worry about what a jerk like that thinks.