*Sob*

[catnapper]

I found out today that someone put an online application in for Evie. The only thing is they checked YES for declaw, and under that point, I won't give them Evie... if they say "oh, we didn't know! Of course we won't declaw her!" then I have to let them see her and possibly adopted her.

I'm not sure if she'd ever be happy in this home either - a five year old and a ten month old baby. She panicked over 7 and 9 year old girls! A five year old and young baby are going to be much more than she can handle. She's a spook cat - every slight noise tenses her. Last night I spent the longest time trying to get her out from under "Allen's" bed (the guest bed ) She HATES when someone tries to get her - she HAS to come to you. Otherwise she'll spend her time hiding and they'll never see her. *sob*

I will be able to part with her if I know she found the absolute perfect home (like Jen did with Pouncer) but otherwise, I want her to stay with me! Am I being too selfish? Why can't I just remove her from the Petfinder website and pretend she never belonged to anybody but me? I simply cannot afford to officially adopt her for a while... sigh... groan... sob.

[DJFyrewolf36]

If it isnt the absolute right home for her, you should say so! Really, cats pick people, not the other way around!

[QueenScoopalot]

Although I hated doing adoptions on top of resuing, fostering, yada-yada I did years back. I'd hit people with the back to back questions of "will this be an indoor kitty, or outdoor", when answer was in, the I'd hit them with "do you plan to declaw"? I can't recall how I weasled out of it the few times I heard "yes", but played it off as the kitten hasn't been tested for FeLV yet, or is coming down with a cold. Anything to put them off! It always worked as far as I know, but people can be sneaky if you tell them flat out NO! They'll have a friend come in posing as the adopter, and then the kitten ends up with the person wanting it, and declawed. So the safe route is play it up that she's sick or something. Don't let her gooooo!!!

[sirrahbed]

oh Kim!! Can't you just be very upfront and insist that she will be miserable with children?? You as the foster mom know what is best for her. Right???

[catlady1945]

Just wait for the perfect home for her.

[Samantha Puppy]

As I've been told by numerous rescues - they reserve the right to say NO to anyone for any reason. If you know another cat in your rescue that would do better with children, point her in that direction. I don't know anyone who'd want a cat that wouldn't be good around their children. Both Evie and this family deserve better than that.

[jazzzytina]

I agree that you should be upfront and tell her that she had difficulty with a 7 and 9 year old. Perhaps telling her that the cat might bite if scared would help. I vote with everyone else. Is it the vet bills you can't afford, or food and stuff? Maybe we could help out in some way. You're a good meowmie and foster meowmie.

Tina

[Tina]

I think you should just tell her you do not think she is good with kids. If she got scared by a 7 year old and a 9 year old, then I really do not think she would do well with a 5 year old and a 10 month old. Unless they are really behaved children.

I don't think so though I have a daughter that is almost 5 and a 11 month old. My older daughter does fine with the cats but my 11 month old is not as easy on them. She will pull on them and chase them. I do watch her and tell her not to do it but she just does not really understand yet. I tell her to be easy but she will pull on their fur.

BTW: I thought you were keeping Evie? Did I miss something?

[Jods]

I thought you were keeping her as well??.... Dont let her go to that home, they will hurt her little pawsies

[catnapper]

I am dying to keep Evie! Though since I have not officially adopted her, I have to keep her availablefor adoptions if someone wants to adopt her. I am utterly broke right now, and just today we got hit with nearly $1,000 in medical for me and my daughter (me with blurry vision and headaches, and the million tests to go with that; my daughter has recurring UTIs and all those tests)

Not to whine about money, or even think about any assistance, but I was *hoping* to foster her til she was old enough to be spayed... have the rescue spay her and THEN adopt her. That would save us a major bill.

My plan now is to stll foster her til then. If the PERFECT home came up. One that I knew she'd be utterly happy and loved, then I'd let her go. But I'd have to be 100% sure she'd be happy. Otherwie, I will do my best to talk people out of adopting her. She's not the most affectionate kitten. In fact, she runs when you try to get her... she HAS to come to you. She's LOUD and cries a lot. I mean A LOT. Not anything special cries... just "where are you mommy" cries So so sweet like that. But many people would hate that. She does love to play, but on her terms. She needs a home that has other cats. She has spent 3 weeks with Nicki and so long as Nicki ignores her, she's fine. If Nicki decided to say "hi" she'd flip.

So what we need for her is a home without kids. A home without dogs. A home where the person is willing to let her be and still give her plenty of attention - thats kind of hard to do... give a cat attention that runs from you. But then its so worth it when she loks at me with deep soul love in her eyes. She meows to find me. She will come running and scream out a heartbreaking meow! But she doesn't really want me... she just wants me to say "whats wrong honey?" then she's happy and trots off to play. She has stolen my heart.. .and she's TOTALLY different than any cat I've ever had.

[leslie]

I know when I have brought cats to certain shelters they have asked me to fill out forms asking if the cat has been exposed or is ok with dogs, other cats, children, etc. That form is useful when they go through the adoption process. You could do the same.
You know, when I had my 2nd foster kitten litter (10 years ago?), I let little Dorian (yes, he is grey- no jokes please!) get adopted to a single mother and 10 year old son. He was a fine kitten, zoomed around, seemed normal etc. But after 3 days they called Animal Umbrella and said, come get him, he's been hiding under a bureau since we adopted him. So I met them at a mall, and took him back. Dorian wailed and bit my fingers through the carrier all the way home and to this day loves to bite my finger tips (never did that before the adoption). It's gentle but he can get rough about it. It took him a few years to adjust to home life for some reason but for the last 4 years, he has been a sweetie. He is in my lap at least once daily but never was before the adoption. He actually seemed to love me more after the experience because even though he was a joyful kitten, he was not a cuddle kitten by any means. i couldn't bear to let him go out for adoption after that horrible experience. I was mad that they only gave him 3 days to come around and decided no one would love him as much as me! (are we not attached to our fosters or what!?). He is still with me and a big love bug.
Point is, I learned to say exactly what the cat has and has not been exposed to and that they may hide and what to do... if they say forget it. then, well, I guess that's for the best.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Maybe now is the time to remember some of the excuses that Babycakes foster mother used. She didn't want to let her go and this may have been preparing you for not letting Evie go

[Christiansmommy]

I adopted Guinness from a foster mom...and i know that, had she said he wasn't good with kids, i would have said to myself, then time to look for another cat. Since you are with her, and foster her, i would think the people would trust your word, and look elsewhere...i would. I was searching for a cat that fit my lifestyle, one that was layed back and was good with other cats, and kids, so i am sure the people interested in her, are looking for a similiar situation, and if they hear she might be "skittish" around young children, then you would be doing them a favor by letting them know she isn't the cat for them...so they can continue to find one that is...hope it all works out for you in the long run

Robyn

[kimlovescats]

I pray that God will direct you in what is best for Evie!

(((BIG HUGS)))

[catnapper]

Thanks everyone! I am having the hardest time with my heart and head fighting each other.

My heart wants to be selfish and keep Evie.

My head says "they are fosters - which means you are to love and car for them the time being, until that perfect home comes along." My head also tells me that many many more loves will come along while fostering. I'll love this one and love the next too... and the strongest thing I could do is love her and let her go to be loved by another family. I'll know the family when I meet them.

And if she makes it to 6 months and no adoptions, then I know who her forever family will be: mine.