Elderly People

[Tonya]

Yesterday, I went to Longs Pharmacy...

Anyways, a store employee was helping an elderly woman out to her car. I was overhearing the woman tell the employee that she'd fallen yesterday. She could barely walk and she wasn't making much sense. The way she was talking, she practically sounded drunk. She was obviously suffering from some type of dementia. The employee was asking if she was ok to drive, and the woman kept saying "No one trusts me, I can drive...."

Then I heard the employee say "Mam, I am sorry, but I can't let you drive. I'm calling you an ambulance."

So I turned around, and this woman's car....OMFG, the way she parked it. Let me see if I can explain this... For one, it wasn't in a parking stall, it was in the middle of the busy lane. And it was facing the side of the lane. She had to have done like a 3 point turn to get it in that direction, this lane is narrow. And the front tires were up on the curb.

This woman had no clue why the employee was upset...she thought she'd parked just fine. I hate going to this pharmacy because it's near an awkward five way intersection and traffic is a bear around it.

The employee went in to call the ambulance and no one from Longs never came back out, which I thought was odd. What if before the ambulance came, the woman took off?

I was hesitant to talk to the paramedics because I looked homeless. I'd just gotten off of work, so I had on ripped jeans, I was totally muddy, and my hair was all messed up. But I was worried, so I started by asking the paramedic if I could call her family. He told me not to worry they'd do it. I asked him if I could move her car (she was telling me it was ok) so that it wouldn't get towed. He told me no. Then, I asked if he'd locked her car and gotten her purse....He gave me a dirty look like I was some kind of a looter and said "I said we'll take care of it."

So, I just shrugged and went on my way. Where was this poor woman's family?! When our family and friends get up there in age, we need to keep an eye on them. That woman could have killed someone yesterday.

[Pam]

Bless you for being concerned and trying to help!! I too am disturbed that no one from the pharmacy came back out. She most definitely could have taken off and, with the intersection the way you describe it, she would have probably not been able to handle going through it and there would have been an accident. I am also puzzled by the way the paramedics treated you. Maybe they thought you were interfering. Unfortunately, if you were, I wish more people would interfere! I hope that woman got the care she needed and I hope that she has family to help her. It certainly sounds like she doesn't, though, or she would have never been driving in the first place.

I work for an ophthalmologist and I can't tell you how hard it is to convince some of our senior citizens that they shouldn't be driving. Some of them are driving with 20/50 vision and worse! I think yearly drivers' tests past a certain age should be mandatory. It would sure make it easier on the families of seniors who are trying to get their loved one to hang up their keys. "Gee, _____(fill in name) you failed your test, so now we will need to make other arrangements for you to get around. " Many seniors look at it as their last area of independence and realize they will be totally dependent on others once they turn in their keys. It is so hard to be firm with them but their lives, and others, are at stake should they remain behind the wheel. Getting my mom to give up driving was like pulling teeth!

I wish there was a way you could follow-up with this woman and see if she is going to be OK. Some day we will all be old and we will walk in her shoes. Thanks again for trying to help.

[ramanth]

Oh my goodness... At least the paramedics arrived before she left. Sorry they were rude to you.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Thanks for being concerned. And I'm glad that employee wouldn't let the woman driver either, but it is odd that she never came back out to check on the woman after calling the ambulance.

We have a 93 year old woman in our townhome complex that sort of still drives. She doesn't have her license anymore, but she still has a car and her keys and her nephew makes sure there's gas in the tank. Everyday that it's nice outside she will get in the car and drive around our block and out into the single family home section. She is still pretty safe there because they are just side streets (sort of) with no major roads, traffic or intersections and in theory, everyone else should be going a reasonable speed because it's a residential area. I know she does this to 1) convince herself that she still can, 2) so she know if she ever has to get someplace she can and 3) just to get out to of the house for awhile. We in the complex sort of make a joke of it although we all know she shouldn't be doing this. She never goes over 5-10 mph, ok maybe 15 on occassion, but still.

It's like Pam said, it's just so hard to convince the elderly to give up what they consider to be their "freedom."

[G.P.girl]

wow! that's weird that no one came back out. it's also strange that the paramedics would be that rude to you. it was nice of you to be htere and try to make sure she's ok though. i'm probably going to be one of those people who won't want to stop driving because i won't want to rely on someone else to drive me around and hopefully someone will take my keys from me

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom

It's like Pam said, it's just so hard to convince the elderly to give up what they consider to be their "freedom."

We had a judge in our town who lived to be over 100. He drove to the day he died and was the best driver in town.

One of the problems in our town is there is no way for seniors to get around. Lots of seniors have no family to take them around. There is a 'senior' bus but it's so expensive and they have trouble getting up the steps to get in it. Especially if they have packages.

One of the most frustrating things about getting older is not being able to do the things you could always do with ease before. I face this everyday with my arthritis. It makes a person real cranky.

Bless you for trying to help her.

[My Peanuts]

It's sad that when someone tries to help people have to be snooty. I'm glad the person at the pharmacy was responsible enough to put his foot down and not let that woman drive. He probably saved her life and a lot of other people's too.

Tonya, where the heck do you live! You always come across the most interesting people!

[catland]

it almost sounds like she might have had a stroke or something similar. It sure is weird that no one kept an eye on her until the paramedics arrived.

Even though they rebuffed your assistance - you know that you were doing the right thing and that is what matters.

[Nomilynn]

I kind of think that EVERYONE who drives, no matter WHAT age, should have to have a driver's liscence before they are even allowed to purchase/insure a car. I know young teenagers like to buy a car before they get their liscence, but in a case like that maybe a parent should be responsible? Also, why not make everyone take a mandatory sight check at the time of getting a liscence? It isn't hard to have a sight chart. Anyone's eyesight can fail.. I don't understand why we only get tested once and forget it. I've seen a LOT of horrible drivers, and they certainly weren't all past a certain age!!!

[Karen]

We have to take a vision test to renew our license, but only once every either 5 or 10 years, I forget which. My license has said "corrective lenses required" since the first drivers' license I got.

The woman's family may not have know she was out and about. It is impossible to know. Having a loved one with diminishing mental capacity is one of the hardest things people have to deal with. Time and again you hear, "I just turned my back for a minute ..." from caring, conscientious caregivers ... and there are many elders who live alone, and have no family nearby.

I am glad the employee prevented her from driving. I bet someone watched from inside the store periodically to make sure she wasn't going anywhere ...

I am sure the woman now has at least social services people checking on her, as well as medical folks. Sorry the EMTs were less than polite, but anybody can have a bad day.

[lizbud]

Originally posted by Tonya
Yesterday, I went to Longs Pharmacy...

Anyways, a store employee was helping an elderly woman out to her car. I was overhearing the woman tell the employee that she'd fallen yesterday. She could barely walk and she wasn't making much sense. The way she was talking, she practically sounded drunk. She was obviously suffering from some type of dementia.

I don't think anyone's mentioned this possibility, but the women might have suffered a concussion in her fall the day
before. I wonder if she had medical attention then?

I do hope she has family that can look after her.

[ticosmyham]

That was very sweet of you to care so much about a total stranger, Tonya.. The world needs more people like you.

[Tonya]

I just have strange luck...I'm always running into odd things. I wasn't totally offended by the paramedics, I am used to getting treated that way when I'm in my work clothes. lol. They probably thought I was going to take advantage of the situation and get ahold of her purse or something.