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Thread: Mom still doesn't get it...and I keep winding up in tears...

  1. #16
    Candace, you have my moral support, as always. As for financial advice, I'm hardly one to advise anyone. I do know how exhausting insomnia can be. Sleep has never been my friend and it's imperative for good mental health. I do hope that the CPAP machine helps. I saw something on TV today called "No Mask" if the CPAP turns out that you just don't like it. www.nomask.com

    Prayers on the way. Keep the faythe.
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

  2. #17
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    Candace, I am so sorry you're having so much trouble with your mom. I will always be here to offer a shoulder. (((hugs))) I know things will work out for you both.

  3. #18
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    Candace, I don't how old you are (or your Mother), but I can sympathize with Mom issues. My Mother and I were oil and water from when I can remember until long into my adult life. Things were awful for many, many years. At some point, however, I decided my Mother was from a different generation, a different place, a different perspective, and she could not mess with my head any more. It was very freeing. I dealt with her with humor as much as possible and it served me well. You have to get to that place where you can deal with her, and you'll be much better off for it; it's up to you, though. Mother's been gone for 10 years, and I thank God for that difference in our relationship.

    Good luck, and Peace. Let me know if I can help.

    Maggie
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    ​GO RAVENS!!

  4. #19
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    Im here for you! Im not great with financial matters however I am a good listener. Ive been where you are, feeling too cruddy to focus. Getting you taken care of is the most important thing, you cant do much for anyone else if you're out of comission. *Hugs* and prayers on the way!

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
    No, I haven't done it yet, and I think I would really have a problem with that because I could never sleep with other people watching me!
    What did they suggest for you to do now once they've found out it's sleep apnoe?
    A hospital test is no big deal Kirsten, you get your own room that is soundproofed.....you get wired up to a computer that is away in another room. They fit you with the machine and mask, and leave you to go to sleep.
    Nobody is there with you, and nobody watches you.
    In the morning they unplug you, and let you know what the results were (the nurses sort of give you a general rundown)........then off you go to the Sleep Specialist who will tell you exactly what the story is.

    As for remedies, that depends on certain circumstances.
    1) If you smoke, then you are going to have to give that up.
    2) If you are overweight, then you are going to have to diet and lose weight.
    Providing that the problem is linked to those two conditions (and it is in a lot of cases), then you will be tested again at a later date to monitor whether the stop smoking or diet has helped you sufficiently to allow your body to get the oxygen it needs when you sleep.
    3) The specialist may suggest that you immediately use a CPAP machine, especially if your computer readings are not satisfactory, and that sometimes has to do with your body anatomy. The most common anatomical cause (and there are others) I refer to is your tongue. It was explained to me by my specialist that a great percentage of peoples tongues sit a little further back in there mouths than what they should. I am in that category, there are many people in that category, we are born that way.
    What happens during sleep, is that your tongue becomes as soft as jelly, and it slides backwards and actually blocks off your air passages. Your body reacts to that, you partly wake and gasp for breath, the tongue moves forward again so that you can breathe properly......that is an Apnea !!!!
    Some people have only a few a night, others have many more. When I was tested, I was having Apnea's a few times a minute.....that's how serious my condition was.

    CPAP machines take a little getting used to....took me about 2 or 3 months to actually get used to this bothersome mask on my face all night. but hang in there, put up with the bother, and in no time you will be so used to it, that you won't even think about it....and you won't want to sleep without it.
    You will wake refreshed, you will not require as much sleep, and you will feel much better during the day, more motivated and healthy, as your body will respond to that correct amount of oxygen you get whilst you sleep.
    It's well worth it mate.....I have been on one now for a long while, and I just don't know what life would be like without it.

    Also, there are a number of masks available, all quite differently shaped. Ask the nurses when you do your test if you can try a few just for comforts sake.
    That's what I did, and I found one perfect for myself.....so just don't take what they give you......after all.....it's your sleep....make it comfortable as you can for yourself.
    Best of luck with that.......
    Wom

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    Kirsten, I don't know if you read my other posts. I had a sleep test and found out I have sleep apnea, which really saps energy. I stop breathing or brealy stop 15 times an hour!
    Candace, if you don't have the CPAP machine yet, I have a suggestion that may help you until you do get the machine.
    Sleep on your side with your head hanging slightly over the edge of the bed.
    It keeps your air passages open. It may be a little uncomfortable to stay that way all night, but perhaps you could wake and swap sides from time to time. That's what I was told to do by my specialist whilst waiting for my machine to arrive.
    Hope that helps.

    As for your financial position......don't ask me mate, I'm bloody useless with money....LOLOL. But I hope it will all work out well for you.

    Wom

  7. #22
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    I'm not an expert on sleep issues as I am blessed to sleep like a rock and I fall asleep fast.

    But one of the other owners of our company, the founder and BIG brain, had sleep apnea issues. He went and had the test done. The result being they performed a "minor" procedure on his sinuses. It RADICALLY changed his life for the better.

    Not being able to sleep can REALLY mess you up. Big time prayers on the way for ya. On top of that, don't let the ADD/Depression win. I 'suffered' from both for a time. I reckon I still have a touch of ADD, but in a way its a good thing for a geek to have. Ya know? I can stay SUPER focused on the task at hand when I have a foreseeable goal. Its the multitasking that suffers at times. LOL
    "Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

    - Homer Simpson


    "If the enemy opens the door, you must race in."

    - Sun Tzu - Art of War

  8. #23
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    Thanks, all. Update here, not that it is a big deal.

    After exchanging a couple of emails with my financial advisor, it occurred to me that one way through was to stay where I was for about a year, to give myself time to go through the whole regaining-health-and-employment process.

    It occurred to me that that might have been what Mom was trying to get across. It was...but she just didn't put it the same way.

    Also...things are edging ever so slowly towards 'the mother becomes the daughter'...so with an aging mom and my brain under stress and not-great sleep, it's a great breeding ground for confusion.

    I do pray that I am able to support myself - even on a form of disability while working part time. I am willing to work. I am. Lessening my leaning on mom is becoming more and more important.

    Thanks, everyone.
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puckstop31 View Post
    But one of the other owners of our company, the founder and BIG brain, had sleep apnea issues. He went and had the test done. The result being they performed a "minor" procedure on his sinuses. It RADICALLY changed his life for the better.
    Yes Puck, surgery is an option, and I'm glad they could cure your boss.
    Thing is tho, that there are many problems associated, and not all surgical procedures are that simple. Some procedures are actually very involved, and can cause the patient many months of pain after the op. As I explained previously, the tongue sitting back in the mouth more than what it should in a lot of people, prompts the specialists to advise the use of a CPAP unit, as I'm sure that surgery for that particular condition would not be simple, probably cost mega-bucks, and be very painful indeed.
    Wom

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    depression and sleep apnea
    Catty1, I have both and I have a CPAP for the sleep apnea. Are you taking an SSRI or an SNRI? You don't have to answer that question in a post, but if you are, did you know this class of meds suppresses REM sleep? So that might be contributing to your sleep issues.

    Can you get the CPAP any sooner than the 9th? I can tell you from firsthand experience that you will sleep better with it. I don't know about other CPAP users on Pet Talk but I use the humidifier every night, summer and winter. I get dry mouth and nose in the morning from the pressurized air without the humidity. Even my eyes get dry. Gotta have the humidity.

    HUGS from me and PURRS from Cassie,
    Elyse
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

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    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

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  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    Catty1, I have both and I have a CPAP for the sleep apnea. Are you taking an SSRI or an SNRI? You don't have to answer that question in a post, but if you are, did you know this class of meds suppresses REM sleep? So that might be contributing to your sleep issues.

    Can you get the CPAP any sooner than the 9th? I can tell you from firsthand experience that you will sleep better with it. I don't know about other CPAP users on Pet Talk but I use the humidifier every night, summer and winter. I get dry mouth and nose in the morning from the pressurized air without the humidity. Even my eyes get dry. Gotta have the humidity.

    HUGS from me and PURRS from Cassie,
    Elyse
    The humidifier is a must Elyse........I ran out of water in one night and had to get up in the middle of the night to have a drink of something.

  12. #27
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    cassiesmom and Wom - first, the SSRI was seen as one factor in my daytime fatigue in addition to the apnea; it is a sedating one. My doc and I will look at that once we get the CPAP under way.

    I will certainly ask the tech about humidifier - apparently I need only the nasal mask, so not sure what difference that will make.

    Looking forward to this for sure! It's less than a week away.

    How to pay for it?....hmmm...hold a benefit concert and I will play and sing! LOL
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  13. #28
    Candace-

    I'm so sorry to hear about all the troubles you've been going through. I had a sleep test done a few years ago and I didn't like it. They all these wires hooked up into my hair and made my hair all messy. Overall though I passed. There was only one small amt. that I stopped breathing but it wasn't really a big deal. They couldn't hear me snoring I guess or grinding my teeth but I don't think they were really listening because when I woke up and had to pee they couldn't hear me.

    I'm glad you got to do yours at home.

    I'm not good with any advice on money sorry. I'll be here for support though.

    Melissa

  14. #29
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    Candace,
    Actually the humidifier is an integral part of the small machine that pumps the air into your mask. The machine has a small reservior in it, that needs to be filled with water. What happens is, the air blows over the water, thus creating damp air.....so the air you are breathing isn't dry. There are settings on the machine to adjust the humidity level, you will work that one out and set it to your own particular comfort level.
    But always check that reservior, the water lasts a few days, and if the water runs out, you will wake with a parched mouth, and need to get up out of bed for a drink.....so keep the water level topped up.
    Also, the machine comes with a very small heating plate that sits underneath the reservior, it will ensure that when you put the mask on, the air that you breathe in is not really cold. So the right thing to do, is switch on the machine a half hour before sleep, the thermostat will cut in, and when you put the mask on, the air will be kind of warm for you.

    Now because of all of this great sleep you will be getting, and all this advice you are getting from us, we require more input into PT by you.....hee hee

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