Where I'm at now...something positive

[Catty1]

Wow - what a great and busy day for you, Rose!

My mom is asking about what we are doing for Christmas again this year. I think we should volunteer at the Mustard Seed dinner in Calgary. Wonderful event, wonderful bunch of people. Live entertainment - I did that for several years, a lot of musicians donate 30 minutes or more.

Gayle - hugs, the weekends will become friends again.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Both of you ladies should be proud of yourselves for how well you're doing. We're all very proud of you. I'm thrilled to hear such encouraging news. Brighter days are in view!! YAY!!!
{{{{{GAYLE AND ROSE}}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Wow Rose, good for you girl!!! Sounds like it was an excellent day. And do I detect a hint of feeling better?? You sound very positive.

I've gone to the gym, shopped, laundry, vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom! Good to keep busy. I found some cinammon scented pinecones. They're scenting up my place now!

Managing ok today.

[rosethecopycat]

The rest of the story of Thanksgiving evening...

I did feel pretty good about how I managed to spend the holiday.
Then I got an email from 'husband':

Rose,

I know things are terrible right now but I would like to wish you a happy thanksgiving. I hope you are with with Bob and Babs [neighbors]. I'm working all day which is what I wanted and I should get some nice food at one of these hotels.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Chris





I am so upset, it tipped me over the edge. I find it SO insensitive.
He's hoping the neighbors are 'tending' to me, for the mess he's caused. And
I wasn't really caring about the kind of food he stood to get on Thanksgiving...

Sorry, but it set me off crying again. I have no control.

Today on the Facebook, him and her changed their status from Married to
In a Relationship.
My pix have been deleted off his profile pictures.
I went to change my status from Married to Widowed.
But I can't get the change to 'stick'. I use the Edit Profile, Save changes, Done with Editing, etc. But it always reverts back to Married.
(any Facebookers out there can lend me a hand to get it to read the way I want it to? I don't really use Facebook)

I am still not any 'better' but as we go into the Holidays, isn't it just too much to expect? (Callate Richard ) Still not sleeping. I wish I could just command myself to sleep, but it doesn't work that way.
Maybe I'll start feeling better come January.

[Queen of Poop]

What a horrible thing for him to do. Why don't you block him from your email. Give him a taste of being shut out. I have done that with mine. I am not sure what to do about your facebook status, guess I will find out when I try to change mine, when it's true that I am no longer married to him.

I am sorry that he set you to crying. I send you a big hug and offer a small shoulder to cry on.

You're doing loads better. This is just a tiny setback. There will be those, I have them too. Look how proud and how good you felt doing what you did before you got his note!! Focus on that now, not how is note made you feel. Focus on the GOOD!!

If it's possible I am sleeping even less than before. So much runs thru my mind. I was told to get a box and put those night time troubling thoughts into it because there was no fixing them in the night, then retrieving them from the box in the morning when able to deal. So far I've not done this but maybe you want to try.

I feel for you sweetie. You're in my thoughts constantly. I am glad we can lean on each other here, I wish we were closer. I don't know how I'd get thru this without your help, support, friendship. In my books you're the BEST!!!!

[rosethecopycat]

Gayle-I cannot block my email as we have to work out details, such as when he's coming to the house, and business things. If I didn't have email access, I'd have to speak to him by phone.

I am surprised to hear that you are getting even less sleep. I'm so sorry. But that is the one thing that I feel is 'way out of our control' We can make ourselves eat, and go out, work out and accomplish things. But the sleep is the elusive issue. And without sleep, we wind down.

I appreciate your support too, and all who have read the pages of our trials.

If I ever read of anybody else's pain of divorce, I will definitely be looking at it from a different perspective now. Not as an outside observer, but someone who can empathize with the pain involved. I hope that anyone else here on PT could have the courage to post about their problems. When you are alone as I am, it is a tremendous help to know that people are out there that honestly care, even though you've never seen them in person. That is awesome.

Let us find something good tomorrow....

[Alysser]

Upon hearing this I felt I should post these better quality pics I took of Mikey awhile ago for you guys rather then the one from my phone:

[rosethecopycat]

I sure am going to try Mikey!

Fank Yu!

[Queen of Poop]

Oh Mikey. If only I could. I've started having nightmares now. The last 3 nights have been horrible. I know, you need to come visit me and sleep beside me, be my inspiration!! Thank you for sharing more Mikey pictures. They sure do warm my heart.

[Karen]

Okay, Gayle - time to take charge of the nightmares - try to do that. In your dream, turn the situation around, like find yourself a way out of the burning building, etc. Try it, maybe it'll work!

Or go to sleep imagining Mikey curled beside you, ready to chase away any bad guys!

[Queen of Poop]

Will try that tonight Karen. I am hoping for a good sleep, I went out today and replaced the pillow I left behind with a brand new one, same of course. I've been test driving it this afternoon and it is amazing the level of comfort a pillow can give.

[rosethecopycat]

Okay, Gayle - time to take charge of the nightmares - try to do that. In your dream, turn the situation around, like find yourself a way out of the burning building, etc. Try it, maybe it'll work!

Or go to sleep imagining Mikey curled beside you, ready to chase away any bad guys!

I agree, but write your nightmare out and change the ending.

Has anyone ever tried to become lucid in their dream/nightmare?
I've done this, but it's only when I've fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on.
There is an extremely heightened perception, and a feeling like you can control things, like the outcome you need, if it is nightmarish.
My experience, last year, was hearing music SO vividly that I could write out the entire score instantly. I knew I was dreaming, but as soon as I woke, the music was gone.

Gayle, here's a couple articles on lucid dreaming. I think it's a good way to take control over the situation.

http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.c...ightmares.html

http://psychology.suite101.com/artic...top_nightmares

With as little sleep as you're getting, it really could get worse.
You don't need to dread going to sleep.

I hope it helps you.

[Karen]

I've always been able to influence the course of my dreams. Maybe it is my inborn optimism, but I have never had a nightmare. If I crisis happens, I solve it! Generally, when I awake, Paul will ask me who I was rescuing before I woke. Funny enough when it is kittens, I can snuggle them in my dreams with no allergic reaction at all!

[Medusa]

I, like Karen, rarely have nightmares. I usually can control my dreams but sometimes I just let go and see where the dream world takes me.

For anyone who can't fall asleep, I learned a technique years ago that may be of some help to you: After taking several deep breaths w/your eyes closed, visualize a chalk board and write the number 100 on it. Draw a circle around it and draw a slanted line through it. Then erase the whole thing. Then write the number 99 on the chalk board, draw a circle around it and draw a slanted line through it and erase it all again. Then write the number 98 on the chalk board and repeat the process. I rarely make it to the number 90 before I'm fast asleep. It tires the mind and allows it to give in and relax. Sleep has never been my friend. I can't "go to sleep"; I have to wait for it to come to me and this works. Give it a whirl.

[Queen of Poop]

Hi Mikey, came to look at your picture. I hope you don't mind Mikey (and Alyssa) but I printed off your picture and put it by my bed so when I wake up and when I wake up after a nightmare I can look at you napping and feel better.

A friend of mine has a couple of dream catchers in her bedroom and has had them since her hubby committed suicide last year. She says they took away her nightmares. She was going to get and send me one.

Doing ok. For whatever reason, now that winter has arrived with snow and cold temps I feel a little better. Maybe just coincidence. I accomplished a bunch more stuff towards being done with him today so that makes me feel better too.

Rose, how you doing?