Schroeder...is up for adoption again #112

[3Catcondo]

Moe,
How's it going w/ Schroeder? Are you still using Paw Points?

[Moesha]

I'll answer the easy part first. Yes, I still use paw points!

Now for the Schroeder question. That is more complicated. He is definitely getting used to the house. I found the treats he likes. He will play with his fishing pole. I've seen him play with a hair tie and a ball with a little bell in it. He doesn't play with them for very long, but he does play with them some. He's raced through the house a few times. The noises don't startle him. He's adapted that much.

He has slept next to me or on me a couple of times during the night. He follows me around the house. He doesn't really like to be petted. He will let me bend down and rub him a time or two, but he has never come and sat next to me and let me pet him. If he is on the couch or something, I can sometimes go over to him and pet his head briefly. He is a biter! He bites hard too. I'm not sure if he is trying to play or if he is trying to be mean. I'm thinking it is more a leave me alone kind of bite. But sometimes I am in bed and he jumps up on me and bites. I haven't been doing anything at those times. I'm always trying to talk to him in a calm, nice voice. Trying to encourage his friendship. Honestly, I'm feeling as lonely or maybe even more so than before I brought him home.

I have not let him and Aroara interact with each other again. She has seen him under the door and has growled and hissed at him. Still he doesn't show any aggression toward her while she is doing that.

Earlier tonight I talked to the lady that had adopted him and then had to return him because he didn't get along with her cats. She said he would come and sit in her lap while she watched tv and let her pet him. She said that he would bite her too. But she liked that about his personality. She loved that he was so different and knew what he liked and didn't like and let her know. It scares me.

Then she told me about the problems he had with her cats. This was the reason she had to return him. He bullied them and kept them under the beds. If they tried to come out, he attacked them. She said she tried feliaway plug-ins and didn't notice any difference in the behavior. She said that what finally caused her to give him back to the rescue was that he attacked one of her cats so badly that she had to take her to the vet for stitches. That is what I am afraid that will happen here with Aroara. Or if one of the other cats comes inside, which they periodically do. She had him for 2 months and really loved him but just couldn't do that to her other kitties.

I have to be so meticulous about everything all day long to make sure he doesn't come in contact with any of the others. I am afraid that I won't be able to take any vacations because of the trouble it causes to have him kept away from the other cats. My nieces and nephew come over, and they are all under 10. You can try to tell them what has to happen, but those kitties outside are pretty swift. They race inside before you know it, especially if you aren't paying close attention. They do it often when adults come in and even more when the kids are here. So far I've managed to keep it from happening when Schroeder has been lose, but I can imagine in my mind the disaster that will occur when one sneaks in the door and he isn't confined.

I don't want to have to return him. I want to give him a loving home, but I honestly don't know if my home is the right one for him. After talking with his former mommy, I am more convinced that he needs to be in a one cat home. The thought of taking him back to Petsmart and the rescue breaks my heart, but honestly I don't know what else to do. I'd thought of trying the plug-ins but really don't see the use in that since she had already tried them.

So that's where things stand here. If anyone has any other suggestions, feel free to give them. I've heard all the "be patient" suggestions and am trying them. But perhaps you can see the other side of things with this update from his former adopter. I hate the thought of failing him. But I do have other things to take into consideration as well.

ETA: We're both redheads, maybe that's our problem! hehe
This weekend I went to my friend's house. She has kitties that come over and would let you pet them all day. That really made me miss having my Morgan around.

But I'd rather be able to go back letting everyone else have their normal lives than take any chances of them getting attacked or making them stay outside all the time.

Having Schroeder here has helped me deal with Morgan's loss, but not in the way I expected.

[cassiesmom]

Where did Schroeder live before his first family, Moesha? Was he an outdoor boy?

My brother's family cat, Milo, is a biter. It goes petting -> tummy rubs -> biting. He also nips me when I try too hard to love on him. He will decide whose lap he sits on (or, more often, who he sits next to) and for how long. I wonder if, when he jumps up and bites you, if he wants to get your attention for something?

Prayers that all will be well for you, Schroeder, and your other kitties. He sure is handsome.

[Moesha]

I don't know many specifics about him. The best that I can get from the rescue is that they think they had him as a kitten and had him fixed. He was placed in a home where he stayed for over two years until that owner got cancer and couldn't take care of him anymore. He was returned to the rescue. They haven't been able to tell me anything about his life during that time. I think he was turned returned in June. He stayed at this other place for a couple of months, mid July until September. He's been here for 2 weeks.

I am really trying hard to get him to adjust. I could probably deal with the biting and maybe even work with him on it, but the fighting with the other cats really scares me.

I am going to try putting him in the carrier and putting that in the middle of the family room while Aroara is inside. I'll see what happens from there and post it here later.

[Grace]

It feels as though you are living in the middle of a demilitarized zone, doesn’t it?

Many years ago we took in a stray who turned out to be an alpha male. Problem was we already had one of those. The new one, Phantom, got along fine with our 2 girl cats, but it just didn’t work out with the other male.

We tried for 3 months – then we found him a home where he was the only cat. He thrived, and calm was restored to our house.

It broke my heart – I felt like an abject failure. You have to think about Aroara and your own peace of mind.

We will support whatever decision you make

[Moesha]

Well, that experiment was interesting. Perhaps someone can explain this to me.

I put Schroeder in the carrier and brought him out to the family room. Aroara was in an adjoining room on a dining room chair. I talked calmly to Schroeder the whole time and gave him a couple of treats while he was calm in the carrier. Aroara could see him from her perch on the chair but made no attempt to come closer. He could not see her. I went over and talked to her and coaxed her off the chair with a couple of her favorite treats. By then Schroeder had started to scratch at the carrier door to try to get out. I was sitting next to Schroeder with calming words. Aroara was a good 10 feet away. He was staring at her, and she was staring at him. She started to growl and hissed a couple of times. Schroeder started panicking in the carrier circling it quickly over and over...BACKWARDS. I'd never seen this before. I don't know what it means. He even rolled over a couple of times in there and then continued circling. After Aroara hissed a couple of times, she went to the living room. She made no attempt to come close to him. She just gave her warning grumbles and left. That's what happened when they were lose before and Schroeder went after her when she walked away. Once Aroara left I immediately took him back in his room of safety and let him out. He came out and was calm. I gave him another treat.

What did I do right? What did I do wrong? Does anyone know what Schroeder's body language was indicating?

ETA: About 15 minutes passed, then Aroara threw up her food. I have never seen Aroara throw up in the three years she has been here. Granted she does go outside, but she's never thrown up that I know of. Then she came over and jumped up in my lap for cuddles. She rarely does that. Then she started squawking and now wants to go back outside. She isn't going no matter what she thinks. This whole thing has me stressed out. Plus I can't find one of my sister's cats. They are on vacation and I've been watching them. The last time I saw him was yesterday morning. I've been over there numerous times calling him and walking the property. My nerves can't take much more of this.

[Catty1]

When is your sister back? You are focusing on a lot all at once! {{{{hugs}}}}

I read in Cat Behaviour about a kitten that was biting a lot. It was suggested to the owner that they make a hissing noise to discourage the biting. Cats don't like that sound.

Also...I am wondering if a temporary mild tranny in a Pill Pocket would help ease Schroeder in. Temporary, as in short term.

I wish I had a great idea...

[email protected] Nancy Efrusy has done amazing readings for many people/cats here. She doesn't ask for money up front, and is very reasonable. She could read Schroeder and Aroara too. Why not email her? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Brody's Mum does readings also. She is a PT member. She tracked down Lut's missing kitty in Belgium! (Brody's Mum is in the UK).

[karyn674]

Hello Moesha,

I'm sorry, I know you're feeling quite helpless at the moment, but truly and honestly there is not much YOU can do rather then be passive and give time. It is true, you feel stressed out with all the hissing and stuff but its the cats that have to settle down between them and it takes only one virtue.....patience! And a lot of it!

Last year a friend of mine was going to visit her sister in Canada for 3 months, she was trying to find her cat a place where to stay. It hurt me knowing that her cat Kira was going to undertake all that stress, being caged and so on. I also read one time on a post here on PT that sometimes they even change charachter with all the stress. So, I offered her the option that I can keep her when she's away. I thought that for Lulu might even work well and see how she reacts!

In 3 months the first 2 where stressfull, the last month was way better! In my opinion you could only err if you rush things! They have to work it out between them so you can do nothing but be patient. Don't worry that Schroeder is confined to one room, that is his safe area!

It was also funny because they also switched beds!! I cannot understand why, maybe to dominate eachother's possessions? Check this out: Kira's bed with Lulu:

Lulu's bed with Kira:

Kira was young and too active for Lulu. She would hide and jump on her:

I can't say that in these 3 months they befriended but tolerated eachother....especially from Lulu's side:

But one day we where surprised to see )




I was sure I made a mistake excepting Kira and certainly I did think about returning her but I had no option, only to wait for her owner to come back! After the stressful period it was difficult for all of us to part, even for Lulu that kept looking for her all over the house for days.

I want to encourage you because in my opinion things would could only get better, but give them their time and do not rush them. You will all definately gain from a slow introduction!

Good luck!

[Medusa]

Here are my two cents, FWIW: When you're petting Schroder, don't rub his belly. Someone (I forget whom) told me that belly rubbing is sexual in nature to cats and it arouses them and stirs up aggression. Gently give him ear scritchies but don't even stroke him until later on. I think you probably already know the other suggestion because I sound like a broken record. Can't help it, though; it works: Clomicalm. If, after you've tried everything else, he still doesn't calm down, Clomicalm works wonders. When I think of how my Specs used to fight w/Boo, it makes me sad because I didn't know about Clomicalm then. Now they sleep together. Once you get the dosage adjusted, it shouldn't be too long before you see results. My cats have not had any side effects whatsoever. Perhaps talk to your vet about it and see what s/he says.

Good luck, Moesha. I know how frustrating it can be and I also know that you don't want to return Schroeder. I didn't want to find a home for Specs either but I was at that point when I found Clomicalm.

[Moesha]

My sister comes home Friday.

I can take the biting. I make a loud noise, and he stops.

He won't eat a pill pocket. When I was trying to find the treats he liked, I tried everything in my cabinet, including pill pockets.

I personally don't get involved with psychics, human or pet.

Thank you very much for your story karyn and for including the pictorial proof! Love that it worked out that way.

Last night Schroeder woke me up by kneading on my chest and then plopping himself down to sleep for awhile. Around 4, I think I was imagining Aroara making terrible sounds in the rest of the house. I say I was imagining, because when I got up she was asleep on the couch. I then went to sleep on the couch, and she slept with me for a couple of hours. She needs her mommy time too. I just can't sleep on that couch very often because of how it hurts my back. She seemed fine this morning. She'd eaten and had not thrown up any more. She's gone outside for now and Schroeder is finding hair ties on the table and zooming around the house.

I should probably e-mail the cat rescue to see if they have any advice.

[Moesha]

Thanks for those suggestions Mary. I don't rub his belly. He doesn't like his ears touched either! I can wiggle my fingers on his head for a minute or rub my hand down his back a couple of times while he is walking around or when he jumps up to see me on the couch. I've thought about the medicine. I just have no idea how I would get it in him. Plus, I would rather him find his own home with someone that can make him happy than to medicate him. He deserves that. Plus, I'd almost have to medicate Aroara also at this point, I'm afraid. I don't have an issue with giving them medicine. It's just that with all the other issues, I'm not sure if that is the best option. I will ask the vet's office and the rescue organization for what their thoughts are on dealing with this.

[Taz_Zoee]

I am sorry you are having a stressful time with this. In my experience, when I brought Paizly home Taz was not happy. But I let them work it out. BUT Taz was not aggressive and I didn't have fear that he would hurt Paizly. Taz never did "like" Paizly. He still growled when she came near him. She never growled or hissed at him though. She always tried to play with him, attacking his tail when he was sitting on a chair.

Now that I have G, my friends cat, the tables have turned. Paizly doesn't like G and G isn't crazy about her either. When I let G out of his room he will chase Paizly until she goes under the chair or bed where he can't get to her. Then he will sit there waiting for her to come out. That's when he goes back to his room. So sometimes he is only out of his room for 5 minutes. I've had G since August 10th. His mommy should be coming to get him soon. So I can deal with the situation temporarily.

I can't tell you what you should do. You do what is right for you, Schroeder and Aroara. I will keep you in my thoughts that you can figure out a solution that is best for all involved. I also hope you find your sisters cat soon!

[catmandu]

My Pouncer used to really hiss and spit at Mr Scrappy to the point that I thought I might have to take Mr Scrappy to the SPCA.
I actually had him in a carrier and he started to cry.
Then I let him out and Pouncer came over and started washing him, and they were Best Pals after that!!!

Patience ,Patience and More Patience.
Love will find a way!!

[3Catcondo]

Moe,
Only you know what is going to be the best for you, Schroeder and Aurora. If you think it would be best to let Schroeder go to an only cat house, then give him back to the rescue group. He has been moved around alot in the last few months it seems so I'm sure he's confused. We all understand if you feel another home would be best for him, and if that's the case, it's best he go there sooner rather than later. Noone will judge you for making the best decision for all involved. Hugs and love heading your way....


Amy

[cassiesmom]

Prayers that either Aroara and Schroeder will start to get along better, or you will find another home where he can be an only kitty. Fingers and paws crossed for the former.