I am so sorry this has happend!
I know the feeling,Understand one thing,Most times you do not see it.
My Neighbor lost her husband a few years ago,Long story short i did not realize how much she drank until we went on vacation to Flordia this past August.
She would go out every day and get a 26er of Vodka and two 6 packs of coolers,and after all that she was still able to have a conversation and she still made sence!
I am trying to get her to help herself,But she is wont she does not think she has a problem,And she has two young boys 13 and 9.
I do not know what to say to make this any better.Hugs to you and your family.
Bookmarks