It's OVER

[kuhio98]

Gayle ~ I beg to differ. It's not over.

The good life for you and Sasha is just BEGINNING!

[Catty1]

A loss is a loss, no matter what. This site is gentle and wise, and is worth having an amble through...there is a section called "The Tasks of Grief", which I like.

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html

Also, there is a book available at Chapters called How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold Bloomfield, M.D., Melba Colgrove, Peter McWilliams (sometimes listed just under Colgrove's name)

"How to Survive the Loss of a Love is the most directly helpful book on the subject of loss ever written. Clear, simple, comforting, inspiring -- it gives the reader what he or she needs at each step in the process of recovering from a loss.

The first edition, published in 1976, sold nearly 2,000,000 copies. This new hardcover edition -- completely revised and expanded -- encompasses not only the medical and psychological advances in the treatment of loss, but also the author's own experiences.
Since the first edition they have had, among them, the death of a parent, a major stroke, two serious car accidents, a bankruptcy, a lawsuit and the valley of the shadow of divorce.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love makes a loving, caring gift -- for another or for yourself. As The Writer's Newsletter suggested, "It's the kind of book you should hand everyone who's lost a friend, a lover, a mate or a dream."


{{{hugs}}}

[Kalei]

PT is always here for you! Thanks for letting us all know. I'm so glad that you were able to do that and you know you did the best thing for yourself and for Sasha, I hope you are much happier now

[dukedogsmom]

I've been there, minus the police and abuse to me. The abuse was to Duke. The only thing different is I moved out and back to Florida. I know how hard it is. But you get to a point where you've had enough and finally find the strength. It's hard to work through because you do have mixed emotions about the decision. In the long run, though, I never regretted it. I hope you feel the same way one day.

[king2005]

I'm so proud of you! *HUGS*

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. I was mostly doing ok today, but now I'm feeling...really I don't know. Just sad. Very, very sad.

I know its hard, I wish I could say you'll feel happy really soon, but thats usually not that case. I'll take a while to really get over it. But once you can everything behind you, you'll really start to enjoy everything again!

Its almost a year for myself & I can tell you it wasn't easy. However I wasn't strong enough to leave. Luckly he had found someone else & kicked me out. I have some perm. damage from being hurt, so your very lucky you did something when you did.

HUGS

[ramanth]

Many *hugs* to you Gayle that you had the courage to do what many other woman don't.

Change can be scary but things will change for the better now.

Don't forget to cuddle those slithery ones of yours. They are a great comfort too.

Lucy sends hisses and tongue flicks.

[My Peanuts]

It's so wonderful that you got yourself out of a bad situation before it got even worse. You are a very strong woman and you've just shown us all that you are.

[Laura's Babies]

When I got my dicorce so many years ago. I found this poem in the newspaper. I pinned it to my bedroom wall and kept a copy in my purse. Whenever I was blue, sad or felt upset, I would take it out and read it. There was days I know I read it 10 times. THIS poem is what helped me through it and taught me that I AM worthy! If it helps you half as much as it did me, you will get a lot from it....

" Comes the Dawn"
After a while, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that loving doesn’t mean leaning
and company isn’t security.
(Kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises.)
After a while you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.
So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
that you really do have worth.
You learn that with every good-bye comes the dawn.

[Husky_mom]

I can´t imagine what I would do in your situation, I understand feeling sad, as mentioned before, change can be saddening, more so change involving relationships..........even for better............

but I have to tell you...........my hat´s off your you Gayle!!.........you make the woman genre stand up high..........congrats for being brave and having the courage to stand up for yourself..........certainly you did good.........

if you need anything we are here for you, but that you already knew, big hugs to you and Sasha........keeping our thoughts with you.......((HUGS))

[Catty1]

I am sharing this in hopes of giving you a bit of a smile, and mean no harm:

I was divorced in 1988 after a marriage of just several years. A high school friend of mine, who was very nice but who I never thought was given to quick wit, sent me what was at that time one of them new-fangled divorce greeting cards.

The cover of the card was black; large capital red metallic letters spelled out D-I-V-O-R-C-E, hyphens and all.

Beneath that, in smaller print - but still red - was: "It's not a pretty word - but remember..."

Open the card:

"..it's worth 18 points in Scrabble."

I just HOWLED. It was so unexpected!


HUGS to you.

[joycenalex]

gayle...(HUGS)). from reading your posts, this marriage hasn't worked for a long time. and any man who would hit a woman isn't worth the dna. i know it hurts, but you will survive and be better for it. happiness will find you again. (hugs again)

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks again everyone. Catty I will be looking for that book as soon as I dare venture further than work and home. With all the snow and crappy driving conditions I'm just not venturing too far right now. Laura, love the poem. I'll pin it up at home and work. I am having a better day today, feeling good and confident. He came and collected more of his stuff last night and I wasn't upset by it - interesting. I'm thinking today might be a good day. Bruises are getting more technicolor, but that means they're healing. Sasha is much more relaxed with it being just her and I. We girls are doing ok today - one day at a time. But darn, I'm getting tired of shovelling the snow, the banks are now almost as tall as me!!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

You should be proud of yourself!!! Good luck with your new and improved life

[pitc9]

So many women stay in an abusive relationship because they don't have a good sense of their own self worth. Congratulations to you for finally taking a stand to take care of yourself.

Couldn't have said it better!

{{hugs}} to you!
And {{hugs}} to Sasha for helping you through this!

[emily_the_spoiled]

Congratulations Gayle,

It is always a difficult decision and never an easy one, but it is the right one. You and Sasha will be much happier without having to be in fear all the time.

You did good kiddo!!!

P.S. You can order that book online (and then you don't have to go out in the snow )