Kitchen disasters II

[RICHARD]

It's been a while since we had a thread like this....

Let me start?


I went to marinate some meat for a little grilling my brother wanted to do...He supplied the meat, me the know how...

Or the Almost know-how....

I use a vinegar based marinde to start the meat....

Vinegar and what ever spices I feel like....mix it up let is sit and put the meat in for a while....



I dump the vinegar in some spice and I walk out of the room to talk to my brother.,....

I come back and there is a fricking stron ammonia smell in the room..


I look all over until I get to the pan...



I buy ammonia and vinegar by the gallon.....they bopth come in the plastic bottles that look remarkably alike!!!


I accidentally picked up the ammonia and put that into the bowl...


THANK GOD, I didn't dump the meat into it...as it was I just lost the spices....

And my mind wonderingm "what IF????"


That will learn me to not to read the labels!

[caseysmom]

Richard ....as a fellow Kalifornian I am ashamed that you would use such vinegar...only a $10.99 for 8oz bottle of balsamic should be used....remember that for next time

[DrKym]

As a very young new bride, I wanted to impress my husband with my Grandmothers famous Chicken and Spaghetti, hers was loaded with chicken meat and was so yummy.

So I made the sauce just like I was taught, sauteeing the garlic and all the herbs, adding the paste, the sauce , the puree.....smelled perfect!
How to get the chicken in there? well remembering how sunday boiled chicken was made.....you guessed it put the whole thing in the sauce pot!

Might've worked too, except we grew up on a farm, and no one mentioned to me that store-bought chicken has presents left inside.....................

Needless to say my husband never ate it again unless my Grandmother made it, and it had been his fondest recollection of our "first real " meal.

Thank heaven I have improved with age.

[cassiesmom]

There was the time I wanted to prepare a frozen pizza in the oven - the instructions said to unwrap the pizza and place it directly on the oven rack. I didn't realize that there was cardboard underneath the pizza, so I put that on the oven rack too. Oops.

[joycenalex]

the kitchen remodeling bug was born last spring, when trying to avoid spilling hot bacon grease on the dogs, i spilled it from the drip pan on the rug in front of the stove. it melted the rug, raising the smoke, which set off the smoke alarm. not pretty, the noise upset the cats, roused the dogs and made me fussy and pointing out the fact that i need counters on either side of the stove to cook safely and smoke-free.

[lvpets2002]

OMG thats a good one Richeard.. Now did you pickup on spelling here.. Just checking your eyes.. I am so glad you didn't blame this one on Mario.. I too am so glad the meat was not ruined..

[NoahsMommy]

Mom throws a "Christmas Cookie Party" during December every couple of years and I'm always invited. I tend to use the cookie party to try out the most unique/beautiful/hard recipe I can find. Why? I have no idea, considering all attendees have to make (by hand) 6 dozen of these suckers!

One year I decided I was going to try and make my favorite cookie at the Viktor-Benes Bakery at our local Gelson's, a Chantilly.

I got the cookie part ok...its basically a Florentine, but you have to roll them and then fill them with a mixture of creme fraise, sugar, vanilla, etc. That, my dears is where it all went wrong.

The creme fraise - no matter how long I whipped, no matter what cuss words I thrust at it, no matter what I did, REFUSED to thicken. So I could not fill my tubes of Florentine. I had about 3 dozen of these flat and 3 dozen rolled....I needed them ALL flat for dipping (in melted chocolate) to correctly save face and look like I had INTENDED Florentines...but 1/2 of them were rolled!

I ended up pretending I "felt" like rolling 1/2 of my batches just to try a new look for my Florentines....they bought it, but I was so mad at that stupid creme fraise!!!!

[Lizzie]

My flat-mate and I decided to have a small dinner party to which we invited the new lab tech that she was eyeing and the new curate of our local church who I was eyeing. She cooked the main course, I made the appetizer and desert. I got out a very fancy cookbook I'd been given and couldn't resist trying to make a pyramid of proffiteroles which looked wonderful in the picture. It took me until 1am to make the choux pastry puff balls and I had nothing with which to cover them overnight while they cooled. So I put them in biscuit tins and closed the lids. The next afternoon, after making up the chocolate sauce and whipped cream, I opened up the tins to start stuffing the choux pastry puffs. They were flat as pancakes. No matter how hard I tried, I could not open them up to stuff them with cream. So I cut them in strips and lined pudding dishes with them, covered them with the chocolate sauce and finished with the whipped cream. Needless to say, we all left the wodgy pastry bits and ate the sauce. And the curate never did ask me out.

[Catsnclay]

Reminds me of the house I owned before I got married. Some idiot placed the smoke alarm really close to the oven, so any time you opened the oven and some steam came out.......the alarm went off


Forgot to tell Tim this the first night I decided to make a home made dinner for him - we just started dating too.

The night started out perfect, the wine, candles, low lights, etc. We were sitting on the couch when I got up to check on the steak I was broiling. Yep, sure enough I forgot too.....NO, it wasn't the wine .

Needless to say after the smoke cleared and our hearts came back to a normal beat, we did have a good laugh out of it.

Even today he tells people he didn't marry me for my cooking. Hmmm, is that a compliment or insult?!

[Blue_Frog]

yes, this is a true story. I can bake and cook, and the worst disaster I've had has been to set fire to a tea towel once. However...

My mom made shortbread cookies once. Shortbread cookies are NOT hard to make, and include very few ingredients. So, she spends the time, makes up the dough and bakes them.

She asked me what colour to make the icing (i was all of about 10), so I said blue since thats my fav colour. We ended up with smurf blue icing on slightly singed cookies. As I walked towards the back door with the newly made smurf blue cookie, i accidently dropped the cookie on the floor.

The tile cracked. The cookie? Completely intact.

The vaccume dog, who would eat -anything- that hit the floor ran over grabbed it, looked really worried, and dropped it.

My dad said we could use them as hockey pucks on the rink in our backyard, but someone might get hurt.

The cookies? Into the bin. My mom never baked again. The End

[Catty1]

A bump inspired by Randi...(the other one was in the Dog House...oops)

[Medusa]

When I was married to my first husband who was in the AF and we were living in base housing, we made a practice of inviting service men to dinner, the ones who had no wife or family w/them. One Thanksgiving my parents visited and we also invited a couple of my husband's friends. Given our youth and AF pay, thankfully my parents paid for the turkey but I still didn't have a lot of cookware, so I oven roasted the turkey on a cookie sheet. Hey, it was all I had!

We lived in an old restored southern mansion in VA that was divided into apartments for the servicemen. The floor coverings were linoleum except for the living room and that included the bedrooms. My son was not even 2 years old at the time and his bedroom was just off the kitchen; there were 3 steps leading from the kitchen into his bedroom. The dining room table was set, everyone was gathered 'round and eager to dig in to the feast. I took the turkey out of the oven and it slid all over the cookie sheet. I tried, unsuccessfully, to balance it until I could get it to the counter but it slid off the cookie sheet, down the steps and under my son's bed. No one knew what had happened but I was hysterical w/laughter while I tried to get the turkey out from under the bed but, of course, it was slippery and I just batted it all over the place. I finally managed to get my hands on it and I took it back into the kitchen, rinsed it off as best I could, took it to the dining table and no one was ever the wiser. I laughed through the entire dinner, much to my husband's chagrin.

[RICHARD]

I finally managed to get my hands on it and I took it back into the kitchen, rinsed it off as best I could, took it to the dining table and no one was ever the wiser. I laughed through the entire dinner, much to my husband's chagrin.

MMMM, Dust bunnies!

[Rachel]

An absolutely priceless story, Mary. You gave me my morning smile.

[Cinder & Smoke]

An "oldie" Dawg Tail...

We had Lady, a fluffy lil Pom/Mix Rescue, while I was in HS.

The Folks were hosting a Dinner Party for friends...
Mom was slaving in the kitchen with a BIG, fancy, roast or ham...

Lady was helping Mom - CONSTANTLY underfoot and *sniffing*
at the oven every time Mom opened it to tend the meat...
They "agreed" that Lady could STAY on her rug beside
the breakfast table...

Meat "done" - it was placed on the platter - ON the breakfast table -
to "rest" a few moments...

Mom, busy with side dishes, salads, and rolls -
was NOT *watching* her 4-legged Assistant -

Who hopped up on a breakfast table chair,
then hopped up ON the breakfast table...
and began to "sample" the Main Course!

Everyone else was in the living room - when we heard the
familiar "*STOMP*" of Mom's foot on the floor followed by
by a rather loud "OH, LADY!!" ( )

Lady proceded to Beat Feet upstairs to seek refuge under my bed;
while Dad went to the kitchen to "calm" Mom...

It was decided to "surgicaly remove" the sampled area
and re-brown the meat a few more minutes to "hide the evidence".

Dad was instruced to "carve" from the Other End -
and NO ONE needed to know anything more!

I still don't know if Mom ever admitted to their friends what
had happened - But she was ready to KILL Dad -
His "banter" throughout dinner was along the lines of...
This roast sure SHRUNK...
I'm SURE it was bigger when it went IN the oven...
Looks like someone carved a hunk off here...
And there's a few potatoes missing...
And to Lady, (laying in HER spot beside the phone table)
- do YOU know anything??"

Mom kept trying to Change The Subject.
Sis and I kept *giggling*.
The Guests kept saying How Good dinner was!
And Lady didn't eat much of her Krunchies that night.


/s/ Phred
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Above stolen from an Old Jazzcat / Ripley (Kat) Cake Tail (2004) at >>>
A Jazzcat / Ripley Tail...