hoping to adopt new kitty!!

[kimlovescats]

Debbie, I went through this same roller coaster when I tried to adopt my rescue Sheltie!!! The breeder / rescuer tried her best to keep me from getting Missy ... finally when I wouldn't back down, she agreed. These people are very cautious with their pets, and want you to prove yourself and your genuine interest in them! You have to go to THEM and make the effort! You might just be tired of the whole thing, and maybe rightfully so ... but I am just telling you what happened with me and Missy and if you still feel that this is something you want to pursue, then don't give up. If you don't want to or can't risk it any longer, then DON'T feel bad about yourself!!!

((((HUGS))))
Kim

[Logan]

I'm hoping you will take a deep, deep breath, and go meet the breeder, Debbie. If we have to work out a transport to Ohio, then so be it, when the time is right!!!!! Keep your chin up, go see the lady, anyway, and maybe even invite her to your home if she can fit that into her schedule. If Marty is to be with you, she will be!!!!! And I'll do anything I can to help with the transporting of her towards you!

Logan

[sirrahbed]

Below is what I heard back after I wrote one last e-mail and said I felt I could have provided a great home and was sorry that I did not seem to qualify and that I did not want to pursue any adoption if Marty was not going to be happy with me....(too many cats)


Although I want my adults to find great homes, I am not in a desperate hurry to place any one of them. I am also not in the business of sending cats to homes who will hate them only to drop them off at the pound if they don't warm up to them. That's why I prefer to place shy cats locally. What if you got Marty and she never warmed up to you? Then what? Will you personally drive her down here back to me?

On another note entirely, I could not bring marty to you anyway since I was already bringing two cats. I told you that and you continued to push me. . .noting something to the effect of "can't you find a way to bring her". Well, the answer to that is no. . .

I am not sure why you acted this way. Perhaps you are trying to overeducate yourself by reading too much on the internet. My main goal with my cats is to #1 make drop dead gorgeous show kitties and #2 find great homes for the ones who aren't. .


The "overeducate yourself" comment refers to a website I mentioned - one that listed scottish fold rescues and that most folks *did* prefer homes with "1 or 2 cats OK" and so I understood her concern....

The whole story is more complicated than that but all I can say is that it was unpleasant and I want to forget it. My e-mail to her probably sounded defensive - which is how I felt!!...and I can also tell she felt I was too "pushy" by asking her to please bring the kitty to the catshow...again, I was trying to be persistant to show my interest....but I now know that this cat is not for me and I wish I could just put the whole episode out of my mind. Reading the one sentence:
I am also not in the business of sending cats to homes who will hate them only to drop them off at the pound if they don't warm up to them. ..made me first sad, then angry - then thinking I NEVER want to deal with a breeder again!! Where did THAT come from??? Lizzie has not warmed up to me so I am I going to drop her off at the pound???

I know that all breeders are not like this as I met some very nice and normal ones yesterday - the one's whose kitty pictures I posted all seemed quite regular. I also met and talked with some of the oddest folks I can imagine

I will post soon about what I thinking of doing next about my 6th kitty - maybe you will think I am nuts. Stay tuned....

[jazzcat]

Debbie - she just sounds like a very protective meowmie, as I'm sure we would all be. Remember that in email she can't hear your tone, or you hers, so it's easy to take offense and get defensive. Just write this off as not meant to be and don't let it bother you.

I'm anxious to hear what you are thinking of now. Of course if you don't do anything right now I'm sure Robbie and Lizzie wouldn't mind so the limelight is still all theirs.

[catfamily]

I would write back and tell her that she wrote such a mean letter to you and did not deserve it.And tell her how Lizzie never warmed up to you and how much you still love her.I don't like her for sending you that email.This was very mean and uncalled for.Invite the lady to your home to prove it.I would NEVER let her have that last word.She needs to be put in her place.If it was me I wouldn't take that.I'd be so upset I'd go to her house.

[doolittleky]

Debbie,
I don't know if you are still considering adopting from a breeder or not after that terrible and disappointing experience you had. If you are interested though, my groomer is a breeder and show cats. I am not sure if your heart was set on a scottish Fold or not. I do know that sometimes he has adults he finds home for and if you aren't interested in the American shorthair breed he has then maybe he would know of a breeder in your area that you could adopt an adult cat from. If you aren't interested, let me know and I will ask him about it.
Melissa

[kuhio98]

I say let it go. There has been some misunderstanding in the communication between the two of you and it probably won't be resolved to your satisfaction.

It sounds like Marty has a loving home ~ even though it won't be your home. Life is too short to try to "force" something to fit. Every one of your babies has come into your home under the "right" circumstances. And #7, 8, 9..... will do the same.

I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. She doesn't know the wild and wonderful you like the rest of us do. What she interpreted as "pushy", others interpret as "passionate". Don't dwell on it for long. Grab a couple of kitties for some purr therapy. Kitties know how to let things go. We can learn a lot from the.

[cubby31682]

This quote has me a bit worried. My main goal with my cats is to #1 make drop dead gorgeous show kitties and #2 find great homes for the ones who aren't. .

Maybe I read this wrong but I don't think I did. She never says anything about breeding these kitties for companionship or anything. All she cares about is the show cats. Why are they more special than any other cat? Is it because she makes money off of them in the shows if they come in a certain place or what? If the cat isn't good enough she doesn't want to keep them. I find that to be very sick. Just because a cat isn't perfect doesn't mean she can't keep it. Look at all of us on her. Most of us have at least 1 cat that has some kind of problem. We don't just say okay well this cat isn't perfect so I have to find it a great home, because I won't get anything out of it.

Screw that woman. If she can't see a cat for their already present perfection then she doesn't deserve to give a cat to you Deb. She isn't good enough. All cats are perfect, and if she can't see that shame on her.

Katie

P.S. Sorry for the long rant. That quote struck a nerve I guess. Sorry if I repeated things so many times as well.

[jenluckenbach]

I will post soon about what I thinking of doing next about my 6th kitty - maybe you will think I am nuts. Stay tuned....

OH no you don't !!!! You can't just say something like this and then let us hanging! You KNOW I can't stand suspense!

But as for Marty, or any other breeder for that matter.....herein lies one of the exact reasons I'd never have a breed cat, rescue or not. I just hate the thought of keeping people like this is business.

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by cubby31682
This quote has me a bit worried. My main goal with my cats is to #1 make drop dead gorgeous show kitties and #2 find great homes for the ones who aren't. .

Katie - this is also what hubby and I talked about as it shows her priorities are so opposite of ours!! I enjoy the shows but could care less about showcats - I think I said before that I usually end up feeling rather sorry for them. I also agree with everything you said in your post including "screw that woman" - you guys have not seen all the things that were said and it is not all just lost in the translation of e-mail. Knowing that the kitty I wanted is not a good match - I would not have anything in the world to do with this person again. I was tempted to send an ugli-gram but think it best to let it go. I have a very hard time doing this after feeling hurt and sad - my weakness though.

Jen: I will make a thread here in a few minutes about what I *may* be doing next....

[kimlovescats]

OK, where is the new thread? You have our suspense, and full attention .... get posting!

[cubby31682]

I can understand how hard it is for you not to send her something very ugly. I would be doing it. I don't have enough wheel power to hold my self back. If by some chance I actually manage to hold my self back my mom will take care of it. She can become a very ugly women when someone strikes a nerve. I have seen it to many times. She is also a huge cat person. Well I'm wrong on that she likes any and all animals.

You and Dennis are great people and you both deserve a cat that you can get with out having to beg for. I also feel bad for the show cats as well. I would hate to force a cat to live that life. I feel bad for show dogs as well. I just feel bad in general I guess. These pets don't come into this world asking to be taken place to place just to be shown off. I agree I love going to see these animals because they are so beautiful. I would also love it just as much if there were regular cats there. The ones all of us have. The tux's, calico's, orange's, stripes. Everything, I would enjoy that so much more I think.

I also can't wait to read about your plans for your 6th cat.

[christa]

Wow . . . I can't believe her reply to you! I don't think I'd even want to bother dealing with that woman! What a jerk!

Deb, if it were meant to be, it would be. I think you realize that. You did nothing wrong, except find an adorable cat that you fell in love with . . . but PEOPLE can be so cruel, and it sounds as though you'd be better off not dealing with her.

I am also excited about your plans . . . come on! Give us a *hint*!!!

[iloverat]

Whoo-boy. This woman is what I call a toxic person. Just like with any other germ, it's best to minimalize our exposure to their poison. What a creepola.

[sirrahbed]

Thank you guys for being mad and sad with me - sure made me feel better!! I read some of these and had to laugh - and THAT felt good

I know I internalize things too much but I think I am done crying now