Women changing their last name to that of their husband after marriage...

**moosmom** · 01-31-2005, 07:21 PM

Debbie,

You're 43????

I am TOTALLY shocked. You carry your age VERY well, missy!!

I hyphenated my name when I got married. When I divorced 4 years later, I took back my maiden name. Why? Because I was tired of people saying, "Gee, I didn't know you were Italian. You don't look it!!"

My married name was DeOrio. My maiden name was Ploss.

**K9soul** · 01-31-2005, 07:41 PM

I took my husband's name when I was married, was excited to. I loved him so much, and wanted to share his last name and be a part of his wonderful family. I grew up without a dad around and my mother had my last name legally changed to her maiden name when I was still a child, because my father wanted nothing to do with me or my upbringing after they divorced. To this day, I don't even really think of myself from being from my Dad's side of the family, but from my Mom's with her maiden name.

I do not see it at all as losing my identity or becoming my husband's property, I don't care if it originated that way. I see it as two becoming one, and it seemed more appropriate that I would take his name rather than him taking my mother's maiden name

. I don't see anything wrong if people want to keep their names, or simply adding their spouse's name to their own. For me though, I like the feeling of us having one name, somehow it just feels more like a bond, like family. Perhaps it was my traditional upbringing, but I'd just feel odd if my husband had a different last name than me completely.

Perhaps I'd also feel differently if my own family hadn't been so torn apart and scattered. But some people who don't like the idea might feel a bit differently if they found someone they loved with all their heart and soul. I'm not saying that it means there is less love there if the couple chooses to keep separate names, but just that sometimes your own outlook changes on such things when you find "the one."

**micki76** · 01-31-2005, 08:17 PM

Originally posted by K9soul
I do not see it at all as losing my identity or becoming my husband's property, I don't care if it originated that way. I see it as two becoming one, and it seemed more appropriate that I would take his name rather than him taking my mother's maiden name . I don't see anything wrong if people want to keep their names, or simply adding their spouse's name to their own. For me though, I like the feeling of us having one name, somehow it just feels more like a bond, like family. Perhaps it was my traditional upbringing, but I'd just feel odd if my husband had a different last name than me completely.

I couldn't agree more, Jessica.

**KYS** · 01-31-2005, 08:21 PM

I changed my name when I got married,
but kept my maiden name as my middle name.
Never again! If I ever re-marry I am keeping
my name.
Since 09-11th it is not so easy to change a name.

(of course if l ever remarry and I like
my husbands name better I might
change it.)

**Sara luvs her Tinky** · 01-31-2005, 08:38 PM

I was excited to change my name when me and Eric got married.

I figured most girls are..

It is a next stage in your life.. when you become your own family..

If a girl doesn't take the husbands last name... which name do the kids get... To me that would be too confusing, and cause way too many arguements.

Me and Eric always argue about where to go first and how long to stay over the holidays.. i would HATE to have to argue over which last name the kids would get. Then if they all got his last name... I would be the only one in MY family without it

**catnapper** · 01-31-2005, 09:01 PM

Well, first off, I couldn't WAIT to get rid of my father's name. For various reasons... one, to me he is nothing but a sperm donor. End pf relationship. Second, my last name was Kirn (K-I-R-N). Written fast, people thought it was Kim (K-I-M). Which happens to be my first name. When I was younger, I was in a lot of newspapers and such and always listed as Kim Kim. UGH, how I hated it!

I never felt the name belonged to me. I always looked at it as a temporary thing that I would finally shed once married. I couldn't wait to get married and take my husband's last name. I love my husband's last name.

**Corinna** · 01-31-2005, 09:13 PM

I'm like Glacier I went from Kager(kegger) to Brubaker High school was He$$ . My girl friend is getting a deviorce and is dropping any last name Just using the first and last. so she is who her name is .Not her father or ex hubbys .

**GraciesMommy** · 01-31-2005, 09:45 PM

I never gave it much thought...I know a few who hyphenate and I think that is pretty neat.
I think you should have the same last name as your children if possible. I know when I remarried and my kids had a different name it has been confusing..

**Cincy'sMom** · 01-31-2005, 10:01 PM

I took Ralph's last name...never really gave it too much thought one way or the other...

In retrospect...only having 4 letters in my last name was easier to write then 8!! Oh well!! And maiden or married, bth names always get misspelled...no change there!

**kt_luvs_kitties** · 01-31-2005, 11:07 PM

When I got married I did take my husbands last name. At first, like within the month of us getting married, I would sign my first name, my maiden name, and then his last name. HE HATED IT! He said that when I married him, I became his wife, and his new family. I know it sounds obsessive and a little pushy, but I understood that he just wanted me to have his last name, and so our future kids would not be confused. So I did, and I am SO glad I did, I love sharing his name with him. It is a personal preference I guess.

**Kristl** · 01-31-2005, 11:22 PM

Originally posted by Glacier
I did change mine, but only because my maiden is very unusual, hard to pronounce and got alot of jokes! My husband has a nice, perfectly normal, easy to spell and pronounce name! It was soley for convinence that I changed mine to his!

Exactly the same reason I will change mine!

**Fox-Gal** · 01-31-2005, 11:23 PM

I have never taken my husbands last names. I asked my first husband if he would give up his name, he's answer was, "NO WAY IN HE#$". I responded with "Then why should I?" He never brought it up again.

My husband now has a harder time dealing with it and wants me to change it. It's not going to happen!!

This is who I was born and this is who I will be till the day I die. There's a lot of history and pride behind my last name. For that reason I will keep it, family pride.

Maybe if there wasn't so much behind our family's name, I might have changed it, who knows what would have happened if it was Smith or something like that.

But after seeing a few girlfriends going through 3 or 4 last names........I think my way is esier.

**wolfsoul** · 01-31-2005, 11:38 PM

It all depends on what his last name is. If it's a great last name, sure, I'll take it.

However, my last name is pretty famous in my city. I might not want to change it. All boils down to what his name is.

**CathyBogart** · 01-31-2005, 11:43 PM

I have always loathed my father and most of the people on his side of the family. I look forward to changing my name, though if I end up marrying my current BF I dunno....his last name is hard to pronounce and spelled oddly by American standards. (It's a Russian name) Maybe I'll ask if we can pick another name.

**Karen** · 01-31-2005, 11:48 PM

Thought of another. A friend of Polish descent (last name promounced like Coszatscaw) was marrying a friend of German descent - last name Stahlhut. They worked in the same office, and had a supervisor who never could pronounce either name correctly, though he tried very hard, and felt awful about it. Only to him did my friend say, "Yup - I'm gonna hyphenate" just to see the look of horror on his face. She then told him, it was okay, she was gonna take her husband's name - at least it had fewer letters for people to misspell!