Did I do the right thing? (Advice needed)

[Samantha Puppy]

Yesterday, a coworker of mine said something to me that has thrown me for quite a loop. I am not really close with this guy, we don't talk to each other about what's going on in our lives so working together is all we have in common. We're not friends. We're friendly towards each other, but we aren't friends. Anyway, he sent me an image of a black guy with a 'fro talking in -izzle and asked me for a translation. I wrote back and asked him why on earth he'd ask the whitest white girl in the history of white people to translate -izzle talk. I put a at the end of the message and sent it to him in reply. A moment later, I get the following response: "I heard you like to ride the purple mule sometimes."

Okay, it takes a lot to offend me. It just doesn't happen. But when I read that, my jaw dropped. It's not like I started crying, because I was so traumatized or anything, but I am just in shock that someone like this guy would say something like that, to someone he doesn't know very well, over company e-mail!! If it were my best friend Christine saying something like that to me, fine. She and I have that kind of relationship and I'd say something equally raunchy to her in reply... but you certainly don't say that to someone you don't know very well and you especially don't say it over company e-mail!

It's inappropriate, any way you look at it. I don't want to get this guy in trouble but for God's sake, he's got to know he can't go saying **** like that around the office and expect people not to react. I am not good at having serious talks with anyone, muchless people I don't know well so going to him and telling him he was out-of-line just isn't me. I went to the 2nd-in-Command guy to get his opinion on the matter and while he did say I should talk to the coworker myself, our boss still ought to be made aware of the comment and the situation. So I spent a good portion of the afternoon trying to figure out what to say to him, and then when my boss got back from her lunch meeting I told her what happened. I prefaced it by saying I didn't want to cause trouble for this guy and I didn't want the atmosphere in the office to change, but that I just felt she ought to be made aware. You see, while this is the first time this guy's said something like this to me, it is not the first time he's said questionable things to other employees. I've either been witness to that OR heard them talking about a comment of his when he isn't around. So it is an isolated incident for something directly purely at me, but not for others in the office and obviously, the guy himself.

My boss tells me that I did the right thing, I followed protocol and that I can still say something to this guy if I want to but since I took it to her, she has her own protocol to follow which entails going to the president of the company. *sigh* I feel absolutely horrible! She said I didn't do anything wrong and neither do the other couple coworkers I talked to about it but honestly - this could get him fired. I didn't want that. I didn't know she'd have to go to the president of the company! I just feel horrible. Josh says I didn't do anything wrong either and the fact that not only did this guy say something like that to a coworker he doesn't know very well, but that he did it ON COMPANY E-MAIL means he's super-stupid and deserves to get his butt reamed. Of course, that's just Josh's spitefulness talking but I do agree to an extent. I mean, not even I'm that stupid to leave not only a papertrail, but a papertrail on company property. But that's besides the point. I still feel absolutely horrible even though everyone says I did the right thing.

[senorita02]

He sounds like a total pig & like you said it may be funny to say that stuff to your good friend, but not to a co worker especially over the email, and this day and age, that could be sexual harrasment, he sure sounds like an idiot, and i would of been offended too, you dont just go around saying stuff like that to people you dont know, shows a lack of respect, you did the right thing, although i would proabably be feeling like you do , too, you cant let that stop you from doing the right thing, who knows he may of kept on with raunchier things to come , to the point where it got really bad!

[Karen]

We have all heard the quote:

Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

This quote applies in big and small situations.

If you had not said anything, he could have gone on blissfully thinking there was nothing wrong with tht kind of statement. If he gets fired, it is still not your fault. He made the inappropriate comment, not you!

You did the right thing.

You did the right thing.

You did the right thing.

You did the right thing.

[moosmom]

Samantha Puppy,

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! If he's done it in the past, he'll keep on doing it until he's put in his place. Do NOT feel guilty. People like him cannot go around saying stuff like that without consequences. Let the higher ups deal with him. That's why they get paid the big bucks. You did nothing wrong.

[Cataholic]

Wow. Hate to weigh in as the minority here...but, I wouldn't have EVER said anything to a boss, etc. This guy will get in serious trouble, probably, for something I bet wasn't meant at all.

Now, I am NOT saying sexually offensive jokes have their place in the workplace, but, sheesh, it might have been an 'innocent' but, inappropriate, comment.

I would have sent an email back and said, "uh, I bet you didn't mean to offend me, but, you did. I don't talk like that, email like that, and would prefer if you left me out of that sort of stuff".

Of course, if he continued to be like that with you, I would have said something to someone.

[caseysmom]

I 100 percent think you did the right thing. I am actually more offended by his racial slur than anything, what a racist bigoted pig. I have never heard the slang he said to you but it was obviously derogatory to you and to african americans.