I followed this advice...
Advice to Women . . . . .
If you want someone willing to make
a fool of himself simply over the joy of
seeing you . . ... . . buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat
whatever you put in front of him and
never says its not quite as good as his
mother made it . . . . . buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing
to go out, at any hour, for as long and
wherever you want . . . . . . buy a dog.
If you want someone to scare away
burglars, without a lethal weapon which
terrifies you and endangers the lives of
your family and all the neighbors . . . . . buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never
touch the remote, doesn't give a dam about
football, and can sit next to you as you
watch romantic movies . . . . . . buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content
to get up on your bed just to warm your
feet and whom you can push off if he
snores . . . . . . . buy a dog.
If you want someone who never
criticizes what you do, doesn't care if
you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young
or old, with tits or without, who acts as
if every word you say is especially worthy
of listening to, and loves you unconditionally,
perpetually . . . . . . . buy a dog.
But on the other hand If you want
someone who will never come when you
call, ignores you totally when you come
home, leaves hair all over the place, walks
all over you, runs around all night, only
comes home to eat and sleep, and acts
as if your entire existence is solely to ensure
his happiness . . . . . . .
Then my friend . . . . . . .
Buy a cat.
( Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental )
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