Do you hold a grudge?

**Trinityagain** · 02-07-2012, 09:24 AM

Both my husband and a good friend at work (also male) are champs at holding grudges. Personally, I think it is a waste of time and energy. You have to do something really horrible for me to stay mad for more than a month or so, I just don't see the point...I have talked to some friends and have un-scientifically decided it is a guy thing. The females all seem to react as I do, flash, burn, move on. But the guys? OH NO! It is now written in stone forever and ever....

So I'm curious how other PTers feel...

**Taz_Zoee** · 02-07-2012, 09:38 AM

I do not. And luckily neither does my boyfriend. We can argue or disagree, but then it's over and done and we move on with life. Usually if we are arguing one of us will eventually make the other laugh, so that helps too.
But even with other people I tend to not really hold grudges. I guess if you did something REALLY horrible I would.

**cassiesmom** · 02-07-2012, 09:54 AM

I think I have the opposite problem. I swallow things that would be appropriate for me to get angry about, and I get mad about things I should probably let go. I have one that I have carried for a really long time, and that I'll probably never let go of.

**catnapper** · 02-07-2012, 09:59 AM

You have to treat me pretty bad time and time again for me to hold a grudge. and even then, the grudge won't last forever.

I have a couple coworkers who hold grudges forever. We work sales, so it can get pretty messy when someone sells a customer that someone else worked with. One coworker remembers EVERY slight that has happened inthe past 4 years. He'll list customer name, their invoice number, and what they bought. ITs pretty sad that he won't let it go.

Another coworker tends to skip out of rotation (we take customers in a revolving order so that we all end up with the same number of opportunities) and she constantly ends up out of order. Yet when we point it out, she gets grumpy and won't talk to any of us for DAYS. Really? She's the one who did wrong! Yesterday was deadly quiet because two people were fighting over a sale, she was upset we told her about going out of rotation. The manager and I had a fun time laughing and entertaining ourselves while the others held their grudges.

**slick** · 02-07-2012, 10:39 AM

99% of the time, no I don't hold a grudge. Cancer taught me that it is a waste of energy and time. However the one exception is my step-sister. She was champion at verbal abuse when I was growing up. I know it's been decades, but in the past I've tried to reconnect, but it's just not there. It's been over 10 years since I've seen her and that's just fine with me.

**Trinityagain** · 02-07-2012, 11:03 AM

Slick, it is funny that you mention that. I think the one grudge I do hold is against my oldest sister. There are 6 of us in the family (I'm the baby) and the rest of us have agreed that evidently she lived a completely different life than we did. She has made some comments about my parents that I will honestly never forgive or forget. So I guess I do know how to hold a grudge. The fact that she lives on the other coast makes it easy, no contact.