A guy does NOT define me....rant.

**sumbirdy** · 03-09-2009, 11:25 PM

Ugh....my brothers new girlfriend is making me angry...and a little bit sad for her as well. She called me ugly. Now I'm not conceited, I don't think I'm gorgeous, but I also don't think I'm ugly (see attached pic) However....she's not much to look at. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Anyhow, her calling me ugly is not actually what got me mad (although it did hurt my feelings) Her reasoning is that if you don't have a boyfriend then you are ugly and depressed. (Now we all know that's not true) She told me that she used to be depressed and ugly just like me until she found my brother, now she is happy and pretty and everyone wants her.

And she's not even pretty! How in the world does having a boyfriend turn you automatically pretty? I just don't get it. Anyway, I don't think I'm ugly, and I'm generally a happy person, with or without a guy. Of course I have my days, but who doesn't? So, mom asked her "So, you can't be happy unless you have a man in your life?" Her answer...."No one can"

Can you believe that?! This is where I feel very sad and sorry for her. Apparantly she's lacking in the self-esteem department and doesn't know who she is, really. I can't imagine ONLY being happy when I have a boyfriend.
So all you beautiful, single, happy women stand up and be accounted for! Who's with me?

**Catty1** · 03-09-2009, 11:27 PM

I'm right there with you, sister!

**CountryWolf07** · 03-10-2009, 12:35 AM

Ignore her.

And, for the record.. You're adorable! I can't believe your brother would let her do that - disrespectful.

**Lilith Cherry** · 03-10-2009, 01:08 AM

My husband and I both think you are extremely pretty! Certainly having a man does not define who you are or how you look - we are with you too! She is lacking self-esteem if she thinks that way!

**sumbirdy** · 03-10-2009, 01:56 AM

I knew people here would be with me!

And to set the record straight....my brother did defend me.

I just can't believe some people think this way. Sometimes it's shocking the way other people's minds work.

Poor girl....I think she's truly confused about how things work. Your looks come from God and your parents, not your SO. And you should be able to find true happiness within.

**joycenalex** · 03-10-2009, 03:31 AM

your heart and your actions define you as a human and as a woman. temporary "possession" of another's attention means nothing. i feel very sorry for someone who was raised in the tradition that another can define your worth and value. country wolf is right, ignore this, and wait her time with your brother out....what can she bring to a healthy relationship?

**kuhio98** · 03-10-2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by sumbirdy

Poor girl....I think she's truly confused about how things work. Your looks come from God and your parents, not your SO. And you should be able to find true happiness within.

I feel sorry for her if she truly needs validation from other people to feel good about herself.

She sounds very young. Hopefully, she'll get more confidence and grow out of this. Otherwise, she'll be one of those people that glom onto anyone who will pay them attention (and possibly abuse them) because they'd rather be with someone -- and miserable, than be alone.

If she ever tells you you're ugly again, suggest she book an eye exam!

**Daisy and Delilah** · 03-10-2009, 12:54 PM

I also think you're beautiful. You have the most beautiful skin, eyes, and, hair. A classic beauty, I think it's called.

This girl is acting like a child. Such immaturity. If I were you, I would let it go as well. She's going to be the loser in the end.