Can Anyone Help Me? Im so sad

[xxangelxx]

Hi all, Im new to the forum so if i do anything wrong please let me know.
Im having a problem, I have a 4 yr old female Maine coon cat whom i have had since 3 months old. I recently got a 6 yr old Male Himalayan from an elderly lady whom was sent to live in a hospice. We have had the new cat for about 2 months now. He is sweet and adjusted well. However my old cat, Has retreated in the bedroom and mainly under the bed now from the very first day I brought the new cat home. I thought she would come out when she had to go potty or eat. but she didnt for the first 2 weeks, as a matter of fact she peed in the bed and layed in it. So i decided to take up her litter box to the bedroom, She has been using it. But she didnt eat, so i put water and food in the bedroom as well. and shes utilizing that as well. However when the new cat comes up she just hisses and growls. everyday its like that, the new cat just looks at her as if to say are you ever gonna get over it? lol Anyway the new cat does nothing but sits and watches her and then he gets bored and walks away. I believe he wants to be friends. Now my husband is getting mad, He moved her litter box into the upstairs bathroom which is right next to the room she has been retreating in, and moved her food in the hallway near the bedroom. Now for the past week she is under the bed and wont come out at all. When we go to bed she comes up to us, we pet her, but she is constantly looking for the other cat to come. He stays downstairs most of the time. Im just so sick over all of this and so heartbroken, I love my baby girl i want her back. Does anyone know what to do or has had a similar situation? She looks so sad all the time and shes not bathing herself or anything. I must say one more thing, She was very skiddish before the new cat arrived. She never ever met company. She hid till they left, and she even jumped at the sound of anything. Nothing has ever happened to her.its just the way shes always been..A tried and true "scaredy cat" any suggestions would help. OH and when me or my husband tries to get her out from under the bed she hisses and growls at us too and shes never ever done that before. Please help I miss my Gabbie girl

[krazyaboutkatz]

Welcome to PT. I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like Gabbie feels like the new cat is a threat to her. I would try using some Feliway/Comfort Zone plugins to see if this will help calm her down. You can buy them through your vet, online, or at most pet stores. You can also buy the spray so that you can use it in certain areas.
I don't think that moving her food, water, and litterbox to another area is a good idea at this time. I would leave it all in your bedroom until she's much calmer. You just have to let Gabbie take the time that she needs to get used to the other cat and feel more secure in her home. You may also want to contact an animal behaviorist for better information. I've never had this problem but my cat Ziggy is also a scaredy cat with strangers and she'll hide and won't let any one except my roommate and I see her. Good luck.

[jenluckenbach]

I am so sorry that your cat is being so stubborn.
I agree 100%, her food, water and litter should remain in the bedroom which she has taken refuge in. Some cats just need more time than others.
Since the new cat doesn't sound like a threat to her, I am hopeful that she will get used to him in time. the Feliway might help. And you might even wish to talk to your vet about medication to reduce her stress. Maybe there is even something natural that would help. Possibly some rescue remedy in her water?
Good luck! And thank you for not giving up, both cats need you.

[Medusa]

Welcome to PT! You came to the right place for help and encouragement. Years ago, I had that problem w/my now 18 1/2 year old Maine Coone mix, Pigeon, except that, besides her shyness, my now RB Peeka stalked her and beat up on her every chance she got. So poor Pidge retreated to underneath my bed and stayed there for what seemed an eternity. It wasn't until I brought in another cat w/special needs that, for some reason, Peeka decided not to bother Pigeon any more. However, Pidge still stayed underneath the bed until she was darned good and ready to come out. I know you miss your girl and her companionship but until she decides that it's safe on all accounts for her to come out, you're probably going to make things worse if you try to force the issue. Move her food, water and litter box back where she liked it and just leave her to her own devices. The Feliway plugins may help somewhat, too. If not, there are medications that your vet can prescribe, if only temporarily, to help her to chill out a little. I'm glad to see that you're not giving up on either kitty. These things take time and she'll come around, especially if you employ some of the suggestions. Good luck and please keep us posted.

[GILL]

Welcome, I agree with Jen and Krazy. We have a room that we cane isolate new kids in. There is a 1-inch gap under the door. Paws and noses can go under, so every one gets too know the new smell with no intimidation. Some times it takes a long time for things too even out. Our female Main Coon would hiss and growl at anything that moved. After 5 months she is starting to learn it does no good and may even get her wet. It may take awhile but it sounds like there are no threats. I would keep the litter box, food, and water in her safe room. Too many changes just make things harder. Personally I DO NOT believe in using drugs if at all possible. I think that the best way is still patience and time.
Please let us know how things are going

[mruffruff]

Welcome!

I have to agree with the others. Keep her food and litter box in the room where she feels safe. It can take a long time for some cats to accept another cat or person.

I would also encourage you to e-mail her picture to Nancy Efrusy, a pet psychic. She can give you some idea of what Gabbie is feeling. When you know her side, you'll know how best to proceed. And Gabbie will know that you want her back.

E-mail Nancy at [email protected].

[mrscat]

i am so sorry you are having this problem and that your girl is so upset. i would not give up. the 2 cats i have at the moment took over a year to accept each other. i dont know if you have heard of the bach flower remedies but my cats respond well to them. they can be bought in any health food shop or organic supermarket and even some vets stock them now too. there are ones for jealousy, fear, tolerance of other cats, and for your girl maybe look at resentment too. if you keep reassuring her of your love and of her place in her home im sure things will work out ok. you also need to try and not get too stressed over the situation. some rescue remedy for both of you might be a good idea. all the best. keep us informed of things. much love, eva

[moosmom]

You've got some great advice here. Follow it and I can assure you all will be well. Thank you for taking in that poor kitty and welcome to Pet Talk!!

[xxangelxx]

hi its me again..the one with the maine coon and himalayan, Anyway its been about 5 months now and my old cat IS STILL UPSTAIRS IN THE BEDROOM!! she hasnt come down once in that time. Please help, ive tried everything, from starting over to feliway to home remedies. She is getting so skinny. And the other cat want to be with us, but she wont dare let him in the room. I took the new cat upstairs and just plopped him on the bed, She didnt know he was there and she jumped up on the bed and had a fit when she seen him, Screaming (awful sound) and growling. He just looks at her and slowly walks away and meows like hes sad that she wont accept him. I hate having an upstairs and a downstairs cat. And we are downstairs till we go up to sleep then she wants attention and im ready to sleep. Will it always be this way? Please anything will help. And yes weve tried bringing her down, and she practically mauls us when we try. Shes not bathing and seems depressed. I am at my wits end here. I feel like if they dont get along to get rid of them both. And we have become attached to the new one. Usually its the new one that hides and makes it bad. When ever we say the new cats name to her she growls, she even knows his name. Comical somewhat..lol...please any other suggestions, I have seriously tried them all. Thanks for any help....Angel

[Emeraldgreen]

Sometimes certain cats just won't get along. I have some of those and while they get along with some, they detest the others so they have to be in different groups. It may be that way for your cats. I'm guessing that your Maine Coon is lonely and feeling a bit replaced. I don't know if this is feasable for you but maybe you could adopt a kitten for a companion to your Maine Coon. I only suggest a kitten because they are generally accepted by cats (but of course, not always). Or maybe there is a cat in a shelter that you feel would be a perfect match for your Maine Coon. This way, the Himalayen can keep the downstairs, the Maine Coon can have the upstairs and have someone to keep her company.
The other thing you could do is set up the room that your Maine Coon is in to be a bit more like the downstairs. If she used to hang out in the livingroom or family room where there is a tv (before the Himalayen arrived), you could put a tv in the room she is in now. I have two rooms that the cats sleep in each night and spend part of the day in and I have a tv in there. I think the background sound of tv is something they are very familiar with and it's nice for them to have that when they can't be with their people. If your bedroom is very quiet and no one is in it until bedtime, your Maine Coon is probably very bored and feeling very alone.

The only other thing I would suggest is to find a way to get your cats to play together. There are all kinds of things out there like collapsable tunnels and ropes with things that they might get so interested in that they forget that they hate each other.

[Medusa]

I know that we don't like to medicate our cats unless we absolutely have to but it may be time to look into some kitty Prozac. I hear it works remarkably well and fast, too. This would help your kitty to calm down while around other cats and it might help w/any other issues as well. If she isn't grooming herself, there could be something else going on. I'd have her checked out at the vet's, if I were you. Also, if she's up there all day, then it's important that she have some stimulation. I know that you say you stay downstairs all day until bed time but she needs interaction. Play w/her several times a day. There's a toy called a Cat Dancer that cats just love and it would give her some exercise, too. And what kitty doesn't like catnip toys? It'll make her romp around a bit. Good luck w/this and please keep us posted. Five months under the bed is too long.