Pet Honesty w. BF :-) Edited for clarity

[Catty1]

Oops - didn't clarify.

My BF likes and loves his dog, but is not tuned into them the same way I and others are.

After my surgery, I had time to reflect and while things are very good with my BF and I, I noticed things that were fine now - but were another thing to deal with when two people were under the same roof long-term! Since a relationship can possibly become permanent, I have wanted to be honest about the small and important thing below. I had IM's him a link to Kfamr's thread with the gecko on the dog's nose! LOL

The rest of his response and the conversation follows:

BF Yes, the dog. That is a difference between you and I (and differences are okay) I'm not 'into' pets as much although I enjoy them on a basic level. That message board on pets always surprises me .. how much people share about their animals. But to each their own!

Later in the post....
LOL. Whadya think? Finally got to mention this in IM...


Me BTW just back to pets for a second...
BF yes?
BF Oscar, as I have said, always sleeps at my feet on the bed, as does Cole if he shares the space with Oscar. Early morning, Oscar loves to snuggle beside my head on the pillow and groom me, purr, and nap again! But I told you that (my poor nose!). So while I really like that and other idiosyncracies about my cats, I don't know that a partner would. Again, differences are fine, until one has to live with them. So when Oscar gets snuggly, that does cross my mind. Of course...he might enjoy grooming TWO people! lol
Again, a point to consider, as I would not discourage him from doing that, silly though that may sound.
BF I really should get myself some dinner (my biggest meal) and ready to leave. This has/is most pleasant and I always enjoy. Just wanted to ask what the state of the union is with your friend etc...

[Cataholic]

Are you asking for comments?

[Catty1]

Sure. I have wanted to be clear with Grant about how I am attached to animals. Of course, if I am married, there will be mornings when Oscar will NOT be on the pillow!

But generally, this is one area where I will not change or 'give in' - I don't see my cats as 'just pets'. I never had a family, and BF has, so I guess pets were part of the picture.

He also doesn't bother taking his Bichon to the vet, as long as he is well and appears healthy.

I guess, to be specific, did I state my point of view appropriately? And his response right away that it was time to have dinner - I would guess that means he needs to think about this, if he thinks about it at all.

I guess I wonder too if this is can be a serious bone of contention in the future...is it worth making note of it under the 'would I marry this guy?' category.

Or is this single thing 'much ado about nothing'?

Thanks.

[moosmom]

Candace,

It sounds like BF's attention span needs a little "adjusting". Also, just remember, you don't know a person till ya live with 'em. And THAT comes from my Mom.

[Catty1]

Donna - I KNOW that. I was married once, very briefly. My ex was actually as cat-loving as I was! (HMMM should've kept him! )

With benefit of hindsight, I am wanting BF to be aware of these things about me. Don't want to shoot myself in the foot - but I want to be honest, and casual about it. This is me, that's all.

On some mornings when Oscar has decided to be REALLY adorable, I honestly think that marriage in and of itself is not a good idea for me.

No rush. BF did say he wanted to IM again tomorrow, so perhaps he will have a question or comment. He might want to process this for a bit.

[moosmom]

Donna - I KNOW that. I was married once, very briefly

Oh yeah, I forgot! You're handling it very well.