Don't Shake Your Baby

[finn's mom]

The title should be an obvious bit of knowledge, but the fact is that it happens. My friend, Susan, just posted this blog on her myspace account. I wanted to share it here as a reminder. If this needs to be moved to the dog house, that's all right. I didn't think it was all that controversial, though it may be considered dog house material.

"I went to a funeral yesterday for a precious 6-week old baby named Tye. Beautiful baby, and perfectly healthy.

His father shook him to death.

No, he didn't intend to kill him. He probably just wanted him to stop crying, but he shook him and now this beautiful child is dead, and the family is left to pick up the pieces.

His mother (with whom I've been friends with since we were kids) and her family are facing unimaginable emotional turmoil, while her husband sits in a jail cell, facing capital murder charges. I guess he deserves it, but I'm grieving for him, as well.

Mya, the baby's twin sister, will never know her brother. This entire thing has been such a tragedy.

People, DON'T shake your babies! Don't jossle them, or toss them around. Be careful with their fragile little bodies. If they won't stop crying and you need a break, put them in their crib and WALK AWAY. If they're crying, you at least know they're breathing, right? Tye isn't breathing anymore...

www.dontshake.com - Check out this site for more information.

Please pray for my friend and her family, who are devastated at this time, and do your part to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome (yes, this is a medical term.)

Tell ANYONE that you know who cares for a little one, to not shake them. Don't worry about offending them. If they know the dangers of shaking a baby, they will understand your concern, and if they don't understand the fragility of an infant's brain and spinal column, you can educate them.

I had to post this. I wish I could do more. I want to shout this warning through the maternity wards of every hospital in the world.

Thanks for reading."

[finn's mom]

I am bumping this thread up as a painful, but necessary reminder. Another baby is gone because of this. A three month old little girl named London Marie passed away, and I remembered this thread. Please, if you know anyone with a baby, discreetly or not so discreetly remind them to take lots of deep breaths when they feel like they're going to act rashly.

[pitc9]

It's so sad...

Was your friends husband ever charged with murder?

[finn's mom]

It's so sad...

Was your friends husband ever charged with murder?

It was a friend's friend who lost her child in the hands of her husband, so I honestly don't know. I know he was in jail at the time of the baby's funeral, but I don't know he was ever charged. I never thought to ask Susan, until now.

[Sirrahsim]

That is a very important message. One thing that I just learned at my second set of childbirth classes was that it only takes *2* seconds. A single moment of uncontrolled anger can be deadly. 6 bumps of the brain inside the skull in as little as a 2 second period is all it takes to ruin a child's life as well as your own.
If you feel like you are losing control, GET HELP!! It is out there!

[mike001]

That's the saddest thing I've ever read. I wish the father would have just gone out for a walk to relax instead. A six mo. old baby does cry....been there, we all feel like it's going to break us at times, but it really doesn't help as the story you told proves.

[Karen]

It is always tragic, there was a famous case of Shaken Baby syndrome involving a nanny here that made national news. It is sad that some people don't know how dangerous that impulsive act can be.

[NicoleLJ]

Before I had my first child i took parenting classes and one of the points they pushed was it is better for the baby to cry in a crib for a few minutes to even half an hour for you to catch your breath then for you to lose your cool and shake the baby. It was a huge point and I have always made sure to listen. So with both my kids when they would have a crying marathon and I would feel like I was getting to my breaking point I would put them in their room, safely in their crib and walk away to catch my breath. Sometimes I would sit and read to calm my racing thoughts or have a quick shower, even some cooking or cleaning helped to calm frazzled nerves. And by teh end of 10-20 minutes I could go get teh baby(whom I could hear though a monitor so always knew they were safe) refreshed. And even if they were still crying I knew i was better able ot then deal with it. Knowing that I could do this was a relief for me since I always knew I had a safe recourse when things got bad.
Nicole

[lizbud]

It's absolutely unbelievable that anyone would have to be told this.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

It is always tragic, there was a famous case of Shaken Baby syndrome involving a nanny here that made national news. It is sad that some people don't know how dangerous that impulsive act can be.

You mean Louise Woodward?

I often wondered how people could be driven to do such things until I became a Mum..................the best advice is to place baby safely in his/her cot and leave the room

[Sirrahsim]

Did my reply get eaten?? My computer is acting up!!

Ramanth, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with getting frustrated!! The fact that you recognized that you needed help and called your mom means that even as a teen you must have been very responsible and level headed!!
Every mom gets frustrated, especially with an infant, but the important thing is to know when they need to set the baby down in a safe place and take a time out!!!

I called my Mom (Sirrahbed) in hysterics a couple of days after Tyler was born and asked her to fly alllllll the way to Japan to help me She did and she helped me to see that it is OK to freak out a little bit as long as you can recognize when you need to take a step back!