Help friend dating dangerous man
I need help/advice on how to handle a situation. A friend of mine met a guy and he seemed really cool and fun. However, once she introduced me to him, I realized who he was. It turns out this guy is the SAME guy that was just living with another good friend of mine and had stalked and beat her to unconsciousness. She'd been hospitalized due to this man on several occassions. One time being thrown down the stairs breaking her collarbone! 
I've had been working on the past year on helping her gain confidence enough to leave this man and getting out. Which was quite difficult due to her prior history of alcoholism and suicide attempts. She wasn't the most "trusted" person in telling the truth at times I will admit. 
However, I understood her reasons due to the abuse she had suffered and never confronted her on her "excuses" or "misinformation". I just let her talk to me and was her friend.
So the first night my friend Debbie met the guy, I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt. I never knew BOTH sides of the story of the abuse to confirm all of it was true. I suspected some of it was "mutual" abuse so I wasn't going to pass judgement until I got to watch him for a bit.
I did tell my friend Debbie later that evening that I did know the guy (Jerk), and that he had been with a friend of mine prior. I told her that I did suspect the guy for being abusive and to watch out for him just in case. Her response confirmed my suspicisions! She admitted the guy was "possessive" but indicated NO abuse.
At my birthday party last night, he showed up. She at first tried to dance with other guys and NOT talk to him. I was hoping she was working on ending it. I also let her know the history of him and is continued history of alcoholism that his family members have expressed. He has also been in jail recently for abuse charges I believe.
What shocked me the most was one of mine and Debbie's friends approached me last night and told me straight out that he wanted Debbie to stay away from this guy. He then told me that the guy had abused 2 other women and had taken their money! Because of this Jerk's possessiveness my friend was unable to talk to her. He came up in hopes I was able to inform her instead.
Later in the evening, the jerk finally came up to Debbie and got into her face. He got EXTREMELY angry and started yelling at her an inch from her face! 
He was screaming things such as "You can NOT touch or talk to another man!!! You are MY woman! Do NOT dance with anyone else!!!". They were right next to me at the time so I overheard everything. I could almost tell she was scared but not expressing it. (I've been there). So I got a male friend of mine (former security guard) to sit next to me immediately. I leaned over to him to tell him to watch the situation. Told him the shorthand story. I then went and got the regular security and told them of the situation. The guy had been tossed out prior. They didn't approach him but watched him to make sure he didn't do anything. One of them talked to the bartender for his history and just observed. They couldn't do anything !
I stood guard over her for the rest of the evening as much as I could. I got the guy's car description to the outdoor security guard. I had suspected the Jerk had tried to follow me home the other night once he had realized I knew who he was! I out manuevered him in a parking lot and a few other streets.
What made me mad was this guy after his "threats" to my friend continued to try to "kiss up" to me! He kept asking me to "go out to eat with them for my birthday" or try to grab my hand and dance with him and her. He was doing everything to make me his "friend"! Even trying to invite me to an "imaginary" house in florida he claimed to have. I knew better.
I've been in an abusive situation in the past so I understand my friend Debbie's feelings. She claims she can protect herself. However, this man "sneak attacks" and knocks women unconscious! I have gotten some of her friends involved in keeping an eye on her. One guy that isn't a "real" threat to the jerk, I told him everything and to keep an eye on her for me. He's helping step in a bit to keep the jerk away when he can and checking on her.
I am even afraid of this guy!!! I want to scream and yell at him each time he tries to touch me!!! I desparately want to confront him and tell him he touches ANY of my friends he will be singing soprano! What else can I do? 
Letting him know that I know his history is a threat to me in itself. I can already see in his eyes that he knows something is up. In my gut, I felt like he did try to follow me home in some way to later threaten me. What is even scarier is that he does know my former residence which is close to his ex-girlfriend's house. I moved close by. His next move is to try to isolate Debbie from me. Which he couldn't do this time around since she had thrown me my party.
Any advice? Do you think I need to protect myself first? Is there anything I can do for my friend before it's too late? Should I stand up to him? Others know his history as well. Matter of fact, the guys we won't talk to due to their own bad history, won't come near this guy! That's saying ALOT! Thanks!!!!
Scooby, Shaggy the "Dogs", Ms. Thang the "Cat" and introducing Measley Weasle "The Ferret".
Originally Posted by Vela
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