i need some important advice

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

When me and Eric divorced I left him with everything. Including the house. I am the primary on the mortgage loan and Eric is the cosigner.

In our divorce papers we had it written up that he agreed if he was ever 30 days late making a payment he would refinance.

Well... he paid March's payment on March the 30 and it came back insuffecient. The payment wasn't actually "paid and cleared" unitll April the 7th. I now have this 30 day late payment on my credit.

Me and Eric are not speaking. We don't get along at all!!

I called a lawyer and he told me we can just file a contempt motion in the courthouse and take him to court... but he was asking WAY TOO MUCH money for this case. And after talking to him it seems like something I can take to court without actuall hiring a lawyer.

I typed up an email that I want to send to Eric to let him know I am aware of the 30 day late payment and he needs to refinance. But he is such a stubborn knucklehead and I know he is going to make this as hard for me as possible...

I really really want to do this out of court. But if worst come to worst ... does anyone here know the best approach to this to where it won't cost me a lot of any money?!?!?

[Edwina's Secretary]

Do you qualify for legal assistance? This sounds like something you REALLY need a lawyer to handle.....(and not the one who handled your divorce. I can't imagine letting MY credit be at risk for someone else's actions.)

[BOBS DAD]

Do you know a lawyer?

I mean as an acquaintance? It may be that Eric just needs to see and read a lawyer's draft of a letter - on official letterhead and in legal terms that he needs to refinance. It may simply be enough to let him know that he has violated your agreement and that "legally" now, he needs to refinance. It is a lot more intimidating arguing with a lawyer (or at least one that "he thinks" he might have to deal with) than it is to give you the brush off!

If that is not possible, I would at least try notifying him promptly of his violation and request that he refinance - perhaps he will!

Why "did" you leave him in control of your financial health?

[BOBS DAD]

Sorry... but I am bumping up Sara. She needs some women and perhaps most importantly "professional" advice. I'm thinking she is in a jam, and anyone with this type of experience or knowledge would be real helpful at this time.

Aside from the suggestion I've already offered, I don't know what else to tell her. Maybe Judge Judy???

I know she would side with you!

[Rachel]

Do you qualify for legal assistance? This sounds like something you REALLY need a lawyer to handle.....(and not the one who handled your divorce. I can't imagine letting MY credit be at risk for someone else's actions.)

I agree. That your lawyer allowed things to be *settled* in this manner is unthinkable. Is the house still in both of your names? Has it increased in value (i.e. is there any equity which could be accessed should it be sold. If so, you might want to consider a separation petition. Is there anyone who can act as a mediator in trying to resolve the situation with Eric out of court?

[Ginger's Mom]

I agree with Edwina's Secretary. I do not know why you are being held responsible for a residence that you have no interest in. Why wasn't your name taken off of the mortgage at the time of your divorce? If one or the other of you could not buy out the other's interest the residence should have been sold and the proceeds split between the two of you. I am afraid you are in a position that would require the assistance of an attorney. My best advise to you is to get your name off of the mortgage. Sorry that I don't have anything more substantial to offer.

[Karen]

Call your state's bar association - ask if they have an "ask a lawyer" service - Masachusetts does, where you can go ask a question - just one - for free. If not, explain your situation, then ask for a referral for a lawyer who specializes in family law. Do not forget to mention that you are currently hugely pregnant, and would therefore like to get this whole matter resolved post haste, before you have other things to worry about, like diaper changes and sleepless nights.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Call your state's bar association - ask if they have an "ask a lawyer" service - Masachusetts does, where you can go ask a question - just one - for free. If not, explain your situation, then ask for a referral for a lawyer who specializes in family law. Do not forget to mention that you are currently hugely pregnant, and would therefore like to get this whole matter resolved post haste, before you have other things to worry about, like diaper changes and sleepless nights.

I couldn't agree more.

Most importantly, you NEED to get your name off that mortgage ASAP! If he is living in the house, he should be 100% totally, fully responsible for it. If you are ultimately responsible for the mortgage, YOU should be living in the house!

Also, even if you have to pay a lawyer right now and it might seem like a lot of money, in the long run it will probably end up saving you money....and saving your credit rating.

Oh, and even if this is something it turns out you could handle yourself, I would suggest you get a lawyer anyway just to deal with communications with Eric. You certainly don't need that added stress right now.

[Donnaj4962]

I agree that you need to hire an attorney! QUICK! Most states have a legal service that is available to folks who cannot afford to hire an attorney. (Legal Services of....) And I think that the state bar association was mentioned also. That is a good idea.

When I divorced, he kept the house, but the divorce papers stated that he had to refinance it within 3 months of the divorce document being finalized. Of course, he had trouble refinancing, so he waited until the 11th hour to do it. I was never so happy to sign that last document so that he could no longer have the chance to ruin my credit.

Good luck Sara! I know that you are due very soon, and I agree that the sooner you get this taken care of the better. I hope you can find some affordable assistance ASAP.

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

Thanks everyone so much for the advice.

I guess the reason i'm in this situation is just because I am nieve. If I would have even known half the problems leaving the house in my name would have cost me I would have NEVER done it. I was just trying to be nice and make the divorce as easy as possible...

When we divorced it was a non contestant divorce.... and I never hired a lawyer. We agreed on the terms of the divorce and I really never thought it would get ugly.

Boy, the lessons you can learn in life. I just wanted OUT!

I'll take the advice given and see about getting a lawyer.



Sara,

What is legal assistance?? And how do I go about finding out if I qualify??