Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them...

[Giselle]

I never regarded teenage pregnancies as a serious issue until I received word that a close friend of *my* friend was two months pregnant. This poor girl is only 16/17. She isn't even into her senior year and she was two months along into her pregnancy. She hadn't even entered her final year of high school, and she was about to give birth to another human being. My gawd. I was just so shocked. It makes you wonder, with all this hype about sex ed and birth control and abstinence, what went wrong in our society so that so many girls today are experimenting with their bodies and their lives? I know PLENTY more other young young teenagers who are having oral and "normal" intercourse regularly. In fact, a former classmate of mine began this risky lifestyle at the age of 13. She hadn't even entered high school, for what it's worth. I'm just so disturbed and worried for these girls. Don't they know what they're doing?

The 16/17 year old girl I was talking about had her abortion just last week. She is so depressed, so tired, and regretful. What are these girls doing? Why aren't they receiving education regarding this issue and why aren't they learning? *sighs* I guess this was more of a rant than anything else, but I had to get this off my chest.

[Jessika]

Its so sad, it really is. A part of me feels sorry for them, but another part of me doesn't, because they know the risks they were taking. And I will come out and say it -- its stupid. Regardless of age, unless you are emotionally, mentally, and financially ready and willing to accept ALL consequences of the action, don't do it. Period.

[sasvermont]

I think we are failing our young folks by not educating them enough .....especially about birth control, the consequences of their actions, the child at risk now, etc. etc. .... life as a parent.

I am an old PTer and have seen many young girls and boys survive the birth event and live happily ever after, both as a mother/father and as the child....and then there are those who don't do well at all.

Either way, education, as far as I am concerned, is the answer. Keep 'em busy, interested and educated. Many teenagers just have nothing else happening in their lives.

We fail miserably when it comes to educating our youth.

With lots of love, family support and guidance, many will do just fine. I always hope for the best.

Here's to all those folks who made it!

[animal_rescue]

Most of the girls I know have sex and their all on birth control, A couple of them aren't even having sex yet and are still getting put on birth control. I'm considering doing it but I don't see the point as I don't have a boyfriend and don't plan on getting one anytime soon.. My friends said their moms all know about it and one friend said "Sure, you have sex without your mom knowing but it's so much easier just to tell them" Then her mom took her in for a papsmear Gosh that was so funny. She refered to it as the most awkard moment of her life.

[k9krazee]

It is very sad My cousin, for example, is 22 years old...dropped out of highschool her freshmen year, is currently unemployed, struggling to make rent every month, is single and on top of that has kids. She knew very well what she was doing and in that respect I don't feel bad for her, but you'd think she'd learn after having one? Nope! She JUST had her THIRD child...oldest just turned four not too long ago, she has a two year old and now a newborn (all boys too!). She complains constantly and has no life anylonger, besides caring for the boys. Just watching her struggle is enough to make me NEVER want to go through that!

[lizbud]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

[Vela]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

I wasn't going to reply to this thread but I agree with you 100%. Parents are so worried about being their child's friend they don't parent like they should. Things that sholdn't be accepted are accepted too often and limits aren't set they way they should be in a lot of cases.

[lute]

it's really sad how many teens are getting pregnant. when i moved back to my home town last summer i was shocked to see a lot of my friends from elm. school had bellies. most of them either the father left or they don't know who the father is. a frind of mine is 19 and just had her 5th abortion last year!!! she shows NO feelings about it at all. she just acts like it's another bump in her road of FUN.

i like the origonal idea that God had...wait till yer married to have sex.

[popcornbird]

I hope I won't offend anyone with my post, but this is something that really bothers me, and I do believe I know the reason teenage pregnancy is sooooooo common in Western society.

The reason...

Lack of education? Perhaps part of the problem...

Lack of parental guidance? Pretty big part of the problem...

Lack of religious or moral values?...pretty major problem in my opinion.

Too much socialization with members of the opposite sex in explicit clothing? MAJOR PROBLEM...

The fact is, no matter how much you educate kids about sex and the consequences, it is a NATURAL thing, a natural urge, and the trigger is NOT education, or lack of education. In fact, being constantly talked to about sex could trigger curiosity about it, and the wish to experiment. The trigger, and main trigger is WAY too much opposite sex mingling. In societies where men and women are not so 'free' and 'open' with each other, this problem is not nearly as common.

Face it. When there are half naked girls around boys in schools, cafes, restaurants, malls, magazines, EVERYWHERE...and there are boys out there who follow lust and desire and have no moral values, what is to be expected? How can a society give boys and girls the full freedom to be alone together, do anything together, expose their bodies to each other, and then, expect nothing to happen? If there are boys and girls together, and those boys and girls have no moral values or no proper upbringing, sooner or later, they are going to be involved in the act. When these girls and boys are encouraged to go to proms, dance together, hug and kiss each other...my gosh...doesn't anyone know how human emotions work? When young boys and girls are encouraged to interact, show each other affection, dance...only a strange person would have no feelings or desires develop from that. Once youngsters begin desiring sex and have the full opportunity to be with members of the opposite gender, that's calling for trouble. Our society has a major lack of moral character in general, and instead of being discouraged, it is encouraged. It is not only the open sex issue, but people in society, youngsters in general often use foul language, have no respect for others, and have hardly any manners at all. The problem needs to be nipped at the roots, not at the leaves. When a leaf or stem is cut off a plant, it just grows back. Until the problem is cut at the roots, nothing is going to change. Until boys and girls are taught to refrain from each other and stay in the boundaries, nothing's going to change. If boys and girls are encouraged to dress in exposing clothes, sit close to each other, hold hands, kiss, hug, dance, be close friends, and do anything and everything together, their parents shouldn't go crying when their daughter announces her pregnancy. The problem is the lack of moral values in society. People LIKE to stay outside of marriage these days so that they can fool around and not have a commitment with one person. Married couples so often break their commitment and fool around with other people. The result is the destruction of the family. Destruction of the family is destruction of society, as the bases and roots of a good society are good, close, committed families. Where have the family values gone today? Where have moral values gone? Really...the lack of moral values in this world often makes me sick, and it really isn't a problem that hard to solve. The only problem is people LIKE to expose themselves in ways that WILL lead to trouble. Like it or not, being too close to the opposite gender is the root of the problem. When people don't follow the commandments of their Creator, they will be in for trouble no matter what. Sex is supposed to be something you do with the one special person you've committed your LIFE to...not something to do with a random 'anyone'. Yuck.

Come to think of it, having a sexual relationship with the one special person in your life that you're committed with, starting a family together, blooming together, sharing a bond of love is probably one of the MOST beautiful parts of life that God has created. Something that can bring a person such joy is so abused these days, to the point that its results in society has become a big problem. People who do things the wrong way have to face the consequences, and sadly, when something wrong becomes so accepted in society, then it is the entire society that will have to face the consequences of the matter. People think using birth control or condoms makes irresponsible sex safe. In my opinion, that is nothing but BS. Many people who use BC STILL get pregnant. Its not a guarantee. Even if one DOESN'T get pregnant, having sex makes a person VERY close to each other. When that closeness is not a committed bond, once it breaks (and it DOES most of the time), it causes great emotional pain. Emotional pain is sometimes worse than physical pain. Why do things that would hurt you in the end? Parents need to discourage girls from dressing in exposing clothing, and they need to discourage both boys and girls from being too involved with each other. Until that happens, nothing is going to change. The root of the problem is boys and girls mingling too freely. In families and societies where free opposite gender mingling is prevented, these problems hardly exist...and people who live such lifestyles still experience love, relationships, and probably a much deeper, truer commitment with their partners than people who fool around and have relationships with many, many people throughout their young years.

JMHO on this topic that often upsets me.

[Jessika]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

Yeah that's how my mom is, which is why I am SO surprised my sister(s) and I turned out the way we did. My youngest sister just turned 12, so she has yet to go through all of this, but you can bet that if my parents start slacking I will NOT be afraid to be the "bad guy". Its not my place, but I do NOT want my sister to screw up. My mom is too worried about us being mad at her and just wants to be our friend, well it doesn't work that way because then we feel we can take advantage of and walk all over our parents. Sure, sex is ok to have now at younger and younger ages! Parents don't care, shoot they will take you to get birth control and protection (which, don't get me wrong, is better than having no protection at all, but they should REALLY be sitting down and talking with their children about it, and offer to help get protection if they are adament about doing it. My fiance's sister is like that, very manipulative and so disrespectful to her parents that they ended up kicking her out at age 17. But that is a whole other story). But to sum it up, education is a major part, parental supervision and involvement in their children's lives is an even bigger part! It all boils down to the parents nowdays and being too afraid to parent/discipline children!

Anyway that's all I have to say about that, because I don't want to start writing a novel (as I have already lol).

[Vela]

Hahah it's hard not to write a novel about it=) Pops has a lot of good points. I also discourage my children from being friends with the opposite sex. I go out of my way to make my home open to all of their friends as a gathering place, I take them to and from friends houses so they get to hang out with friends all of the time, but i discourage opposite sex friends because I just don't think it's necessary to have that at their age and only leads to trouble. I also am very picky about the clothing my kids wear. My oldest is 13 and she doesn't wear short shorts, or short skirts, or tank tops. She isn't allowed to show her belly or walk around looking like a young prostitue, which is how many in society dress nowdays. My daughter actually LIKES to be covered, because it's what she's been taught since she was a baby. She doesn't even ask for clothing that doesn't cover her up. She wears capris or longer skirts and she can wear tank tops with jackets or other shirts over them but she doesn't feel like she needs to show off her body to the world. Girls run around mostly naked and then get offended if someone wants them to cover up! Boys aren't much better. I can't change society, but I can try to help my kids get through these teen years as easily as possible with a strong beleif in God (that's how our family works, but not everyone beleives in that), strong beleif in being moral and keeping ourselves more covered than not, and we have discussed sex but not the literal aspects of it, and why it's important to wait. My children also will not be attending the school's sex classes because I beleive they are inappapropriate. Kids nowdays are bombarded with sex from the time they are small children. In fact I saw a billboard, HUGE, on my way down the highway showing a pair of very large breasts and a bra...it was an advertisement for plastic surgery. It's VERy hard nowdays to try to prevent our kids from seeing it all around them but we limit TV, limit the movies and things they are allowed to watch and do the best we can. I just wish society wasn't so gung ho to force the sex issue on kids at such a young age and expect them to understand the ramifications of it. Anymore the exception is the virgin, and those are ridiculed by their peers. That is horribly sad. I think it's parent's responsbility, but I also think it's society's responsbility as a whole to stop promoting sex like it's nothing, like everyone should just go out and sleep around. Not only is is degrading and damaging, but it's also dangerous. I actually agree with you about most of what you said Pops, it's a sad thing to see and rally doesn't seem like such a hard thing to fix if everyone would stop acting like it's okay to just have sex with everyone and have one night stands, etc. etc. and if people would teach their kids how to avoid dangerous situations that get them raped or hurt or having sex before they are really ready.

[Sevaede]

I never regarded teenage pregnancies as a serious issue until I received word that a close friend of *my* friend was two months pregnant. This poor girl is only 16/17. She isn't even into her senior year and she was two months along into her pregnancy. She hadn't even entered her final year of high school, and she was about to give birth to another human being. My gawd. I was just so shocked. It makes you wonder, with all this hype about sex ed and birth control and abstinence, what went wrong in our society so that so many girls today are experimenting with their bodies and their lives? I know PLENTY more other young young teenagers who are having oral and "normal" intercourse regularly. In fact, a former classmate of mine began this risky lifestyle at the age of 13. She hadn't even entered high school, for what it's worth. I'm just so disturbed and worried for these girls. Don't they know what they're doing?

The 16/17 year old girl I was talking about had her abortion just last week. She is so depressed, so tired, and regretful. What are these girls doing? Why aren't they receiving education regarding this issue and why aren't they learning? *sighs* I guess this was more of a rant than anything else, but I had to get this off my chest.

I understand exactly how you feel. My former best friend had her baby girl when we were sophomores in high school. She is still in, I have graduated, and baby Gabriella will be two this year.