HEY! ~ Where's all my Tomatos?? ... {bURRp}

[Cinder & Smoke]

Ole Fire Buddy Donny brought "The Farm" over in late March ...l
A 5-Gallon dry wall bucket filled with "stuff" and a small Tomato Plant poking it's head
above the plastic covering. "Just WATER it every day; and maybe add another
stake if it grows tall. Pour water IN till it comes out this overflow ...
even a Black-Thumb can't screw it up! Enjoy."

I even remembered to drag The Farm into the warm garage for a late frost.
Slow start, but in April it kicked into gear - arms & legs shot off in all directions.
Then it was "flowers" - ALL over ... and then ... lil TOMATOs (I think).

Darn thing was THIRSTY - 1/2 gallon or more a day! I didn't go UP fast enough -
so The Farm spread low to the ground ... two more stakes to hold it all up.

May - and we had a HUNNERT lil green 'Matos hangin all over the place ...
If these all turn RED at once ... OMG. Looks like they're "mini-sized" or
"Cherry" if you prefer.
June - we got a RED ONE!

Well - it was almost red ... maybe otta hold off The Havest a day or two more.
After another week of pink/green chewey 'Matos - I figured out what RED looked like;
and managed to haul more upstairs than I ate Down On The Farm.
I've had a salad every night for weeks!

Thursday I stopped by The Farm for the daily haul ... grabbed 8 or 10 nice ones
and made plans for an even bigger haul on Friday.

Pharmer Phred went out Friday, harvest baggie in hand ...
Hmmmmm ... thought there were gonna be MORE ready that this ...
Woudda SWORN there were more yesterday ...
Noticed there weren't too many "pink" ones ... gonna be a day or two with no 'Matos.
NUTZ!

Saturday I didn't do any Harvesting, just Watered ... I'll grab a bunch on Sunday.

Sunday DinDin Tyme --- lemmie run Down to The Farm for a fresh salad ...

WHAT THE #*%$#* - WHERE's the darn Tomatos!???
Not a RED one in sight - not even a PINK one ...
WHO's STEALIN Tomatos offa my Farm????

I "stewed" about the Missin 'Matos all night ... almost called Pat (uppa street) -
but thought 2 AM might be a tad late to question who or what was swipin 'Matos.

Crack-a-Dawn (well, 10:30 at the latest) - Phred Pharmer is checkin da Farm -
DEFINATELY I'm missin 'Matos!! - Dang - even the lil Baby GREEN Ones are gone!
I'z been ROBBED!! - There's DOZENS of lil Green Babies just VANISHED ---
not to mention the couple dozen Reds & Pinks that were "almost ready".
Wonder if the Sheriff will come out ... is this a 9-1-1 'Mergency?

Look again ... musta "fallen off" da Bush ...
NOT a TRACE ... fifty foot sweep of The Farm and not a single one to be found.
Is it too late to put up Barbed Wire?

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OMG! Wuz dat THUNDER, Cinder?

NO, SmokeMutt - my TUMMIE. Gonna be DinDin Tyme affore we get Brunch!

What's Dad DOIN - lookin out the Big Winnow?

He's *watchin* fur da "Mato Theif" to raid da Farm.
C'mone Guys - line up an - maybe we'll get sum grub.

After Brunch ...




OK Bowz - take a hike inna livin room like ya need ta *pee* ... It's tyme fur an Outie.

Works ebery tyme! - Shudda had him YEARS ago!

------------------------------

OUT, ya lil $#!!
Pee inna Howze an youu'll be onna Greyhound fur New Messico! OUT!

Bowz off the porch and headed west - staying close to the bushes
and thereby *hidden* from view ...
Oh well; hopefully he'll stay semi-close.

*Observed from the Big Window* >>>

Cinder & Smokey did a few Fast Laps around the Ranch, then went off to
"Powder their Noses"; returning to back-slide down the front slope towards the driveway.
SmokeMutt sprinted back towards the porch to meet Bowz;

Cinder ...

--------------------------------

scross the drive towards the (closed) Bus Garage Doors ...

Tum-Ditty-Yum, Bippity-Bob, Tritt-Trott ...

Why, Lookie Here - Pharmer Dad's Pharm an Walk-Up Salad Bar ...

- Clear!
- Clear!

Moves in - noze inna 'Mato Bush ... ...
WOW! Not much of a selection left onna Pharm these daze ...
wiff Paw ...

Not a Red Wun in site! - Gonna hafta settle fu anudder Green/Chewey wun.

This wun will do ...





and from the Window DIRECTLY Above the Pharm ...



SON uva #!!&%#!!

BADDDDDD DAWG! ~~~ GET OUTTTTA the GARDEN!!!!



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**OOpsie**

Dat soundz like da Pharmer got his Bibz inna *twitch*!

Hey SmokeMutt - help me *lick* da Tomato Juze offa my face ...
maybe he won't *notice*.

[Dorothy39]

Okay Phred,em a goin ta print tha wun!!!!!!!!!

[The_Duck]

*gasping for air, tears streaming down face, as she picks herself up off the floor* That was hilarious! Great story, Phred. Bad dog, Cinder!

[Dorothy39]

Yezzz, dem dugs es da bess uns on Peah Tuk!!!

Matos es gud!!! Juze es guddur!!!

[Corinna]

DUrn doesn't farmer phred know about tomato cages ? maybe chicken wire to keep the dawgs out. I laughed so hard at the is glad to see another farm adventure.

[zippy-kat]

Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back? And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale? Paybacks, buddy, paybacks!

[slick]

OMD Pharmer Phred....I'm laughing so hard.....it's the visual. Thanks Phred, although I'm sure it's no laughing matter to you.

[Cinder & Smoke]

Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back?

And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale?

Paybacks, buddy, paybacks!

But, but, but ...



They don't LIKE Tomatos ...
at least not when I drop a piece in the kitchen ...

Apple, cucumber, carrot, sometimes lettuce ... "We'll get it, Dad!"

Drop a hunka TOMATO and "Yucck!! It's gooey an got SEEDS! YOU get it, Dad!"

-------------------

...

...

[shais_mom]

Don't I recall a certain someone laughing at my tomato picking/eating dog awhile back? And didn't someone ask for PICTURES to accompany the tale? Paybacks, buddy, paybacks!

as soon as I saw the title that is exactly what I thought!!
sounds like Maggie has been chatting over the miles to her cousin Bowser in OHIO!
Keegan won't pick up tomatoes on the floor either but haven't really noticed her even sniffing my many plants.
interesting.
those are the stories I know and love and MISS!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

LOL!!!

Is tomato napping a crime in your neighborhood?

Be glad that Cinder didn't get an upset tummy or you would have seen your tomatoes again; one way or the other!!!

[Cincy'sMom]

So great to read a classic Phred story!!! Please excuse us if we get a we laughs at your misfortune!!


'Round here, Cincy is the champion berry picker...she loves to eat the raspberry's off grandma's bush. Amazingly, she only picks the ripe ones!!

[Karen]

Hee hee hee hee!

So much for blaming some ol' woodchuck ...


Hee hee, Zippykat, I thought of you immediately. Hope the hat's yummy, Phred!

So great to read a classic Phred story!!! Please excuse us if we get a we laughs at your misfortune!!


'Round here, Cincy is the champion berry picker...she loves to eat the raspberry's off grandma's bush. Amazingly, she only picks the ripe ones!!

That's 'cause the one's that aren't ripe just don't come off the cane! Hope Grandma washes all that she picks just in case Cincy has "test-tugged" 'em before they'd come off!!!

[Daisy and Delilah]

ROTF!!!! Great story Phred!! Who hasn't missed your prize winning tales? This is one of the best you've ever written. Thanks to you and your crew for making us laugh our butts off tonight!!

[cyber-sibes]

so that's what the smokemuts have been up to this summer! LOL! great story, hugs to you & all your crew, including that little 'mato thief!

[RICHARD]

Reuters-Ohio- August 14

A mysterious outbreak has a put a small Ohio town on the map.
Tomato plants have been springing up all over this small community in numbers never seen before.

Town officials are puzzled at the sudden proliferation of the plants.

"We have pinpointed the area where we believe the plants are coming from." a county official said.

"It seems like we have a regular Johnny TomatoSeed here in town"

After sending off samples of the plant to a state office it was reported that the tomato plants have traces of dog chow in the leaves.

Officials were tightlipped about the rumor and have declined to comment.


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Phred.

When the next cr@p, ah, crop comes out, remember your nasty neighbors.