joke thread

[Former User]

ROFL!

[Former User]

awww, poor doggie

[Former User]

cute!

[Former User]

Walking up to the front door of a big farmhouse, a hobo knocked lightly on the door until the owner answered. The hobo said, "Please, sir, could I have something to eat? I haven't had a meal in days."
The well-dressed homeowner said, "I may have made a fortune supplying goods to people, but I never give away anything for nothing. However, if you go around to the back of the house, you'll fine a gallon of paint and a clean brush. Paint my porch and I'll give you a good meal."
The hobo headed off to the back of the house and a few hours later he came back to knock on the door again. The homeowner was surprised. "Finished already? That's great! Come on in and sit down, and I'll have the cook bring you a meal."

"Thank you, sir!" the hobo said. "I should tell you though, that you don't know your cars. That's not a Porch. It's a BMW."

[anna_66]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ellensy]

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new
> hearing aid. It cost
> me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the
> art."
> "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
> "Twelve thirty."
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Morris, an 82 year old man, went to the doctor to
> get a physical. A few
> days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the
> street with a gorgeous
> young lady on his arm.
> A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to the man
> and said, "You're really
> doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just
> doing what you said,
> doctor: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "
> The doctor said, "I said 'you've got a heart
> murmur...be careful.' "
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway,
> his car phone rang.
> Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
> warning him, "Herman, I just
> heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
> way on 280 Interstate.
> Please be careful."
> "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's
> hundreds of them!"
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home
> for dinner one evening.
> He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded
> every request to his wife
> with endearing terms -- "Honey, My Love, Darling,
> Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc."
> The couple had been married almost 70 years and,
> clearly, they were still
> very much in love.
> While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned
> over and said to his host,
> "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years,
> you still call your
> wife those loving pet names."
> The old man hung his head, "I have to tell you the
> truth, " he said, "I
> forgot her name about 10 years ago."

[anna_66]

Originally posted by ellensy

'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' "
> The doctor said, "I said 'you've got a heart
> murmur...be careful.' "

Ohhhh, I just LOVED that one!

[lovemymaltese]

LOL

[lovemymaltese]

Q. how do you make a tissue dance?

A. you put a little boogey in it.

[krazyaboutkatz]

These are too funny.

[lovemymaltese]

I loved the picture entitled Sexy salad.

[lovemymaltese]

this picture is funny

[lovemymaltese]

this is a dog's life.

[lovemymaltese]

funny pic

[lovemymaltese]

it didn't show up. sorry it wouldn't work.