"Significant Other"

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

So I was at the hospital the other day for my pre-admission testing. Along with giving a blood sample, all I had to do was fill out a ton of paperwork. Of course the question of who to contact in an emergency came up, and I, of course, put Terry's name down. I also put him down for the person who would be bringing me in and driving me home, so his name came up more than once. The nurse was going over the paperwork to make sure everything was filled in and she says "So who is this Terry person?" I told her he was my "signficant other" and then after I left I started thinking about that and what a ridiculous title that is. However, if that title is ridiculous, what title do I use? I know Terry has, on occassion, to make things simple, referred to me as his wife, and I've referred to him on occassion as my husband, but we're not married. On one form I filled out one time, the title "life partner" was listed and I thought that sounded good, so I circled it. The person checking that form proceeded to ask if I was gay because "life partner" refers to same-sex couples....I guess....

Significant other seems to be a universally understood title, but like I say, it is rather lacking in my opinion. According to dictionary.com, here are the definitions of significant and other:
Significant - Having or expressing a meaning; meaningful.
Having or expressing a covert meaning; suggestive: a significant glance. See Synonyms at expressive.
Having or likely to have a major effect; important: a significant change in the tax laws.
Fairly large in amount or quantity: significant casualties; no significant opposition.
Statistics. Of or relating to observations or occurrences that are too closely correlated to be attributed to chance and therefore indicate a systematic relationship.
Other - 1.
a. Being the remaining one of two or more: the other ear.
b. Being the remaining ones of several: His other books are still in storage.
2. Different from that or those implied or specified: Any other person would tell the truth.
3. Of a different character or quality: “a strange, other dimension... where his powers seemed to fail” (Lance Morrow).
4. Of a different time or era either future or past: other centuries; other generations.
5. Additional; extra: I have no other shoes.
6. Opposite or contrary; reverse: the other side.
7. Alternate; second: every other day.
8. Of the recent past: just the other day.

Ok, ok, so maybe I'm making too much of this, but we're a little old for "boyfriend/girlfriend," so it's almost to the point where we should get married just so people understand our relationship!

[smokey the elder]

I kind of had the same issue when I was getting benefits for my SO, Keith. Unmarried couples of any combination of genders can get insurance where I work. They use the term "domestic partner." How sterile is that?? I think "significant other" is better than that!

Years ago I got into a conversation about the best term for a more mature friend of the opposite sex. We couldn't decide then, either!

[chocolatepuppy]

Although I'm married, I wish they'd come up with a different title for couples who live together. SO is just too long! One of my best friends has been with her SO for 23 years and I hate calling them SOs! Maybe PT can come up with a new title?

[Jessika]

I am engaged so I can say "fiancée" but sometimes people don't take you seriously, especially considering how "young" I am to them so I usually just say he's my SO just to avoid any dirty looks

[Barbara]

Funny enough it was my surgery which made us think of being married after 15 years or so.
I sometimes referred to Siegmar as my lover. Because he's the one whom I loved and who loved me- but not many people get that one right

[kimboe]

Instaed of "significant-other" I've known it to be "Common-Law"

[Edwina's Secretary]

Once upon a time there was a choice on forms of POSSLQ. Stood for Person of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. I know we went through this same thing....there's Partner, SO, Other Half, Better Half, Shackup, BF (Best Friend), Companion......

With Don's recent surgery we had some of this. Because of the "name thing." But...this being California they are very politically correct. I was referred to as "the family member."

[RICHARD]

What ever happened to "old man" or "old lady"?


I once used, "the person I wake up next to" that got a laugh...

I guess it beats, "one of the few that has seen me naked..."

[Barbara]

Most of them are too imprecise.
"the family member" could have been Eddie and Edwina as well.
"the person I wake up next to" the other Californian Eddie

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I found a good one. How about "he's a member of my familial unit." Of course though, like Barbara says, that could refer to Peanut or CJ also.

Gee, Sara, I'm surprised because even if the names aren't the same, you're still officially husband and wife. What's wrong with calling you his wife rather than "the family member." "The family member." As if poor Don only has one other family member.

In my paperwork, they also stress that FAMILY (yes it's bold and capitalized on my paperwork) members can visit before the pre-anesthesia medicine. Wonder how much of a fight it's going to be to get them to accept Terry has a FAMILY member.

STE, I agree, "domestic partner" is definitely worse than "signficant other." At least SO has the term "significant" so you know it's not just any old person in the household.

Jessika, I've heard people in my same situation refer to each other as their fiancée to avoid just this type of situation even though they weren't really engaged.

Richard, "old man" and "old lady" are my parents!

Kimboe, you're right by golly! I'll have to check into Illinois law, but it's very possible I can start calling him my husband by now and be correct, if not complete.

Great responses everybody. I didn't expect to get such a laugh out of this.

[kuhio98]

Before Bobcat and I got married, we referred to each other as our "Uh Uh". That came about because when I introduced him to my friends, I'd say, "This is Bob, my uhhhhh uhhhhhh...." After a while, it was just easier to call each other husband and wife. Most people don't really care and it's not really important unless its a legal matter.

[RedHedd]

I have many friends in this "situation" - they refer to themselves as "living in sin"

[Edwina's Secretary]

Debbie...that's a good point. No one ever asked me what my relationship was to Don. I was just the "Family Member!" And yes...I was to visit with him while they prepped (WHY???)

[popcornbird]

Sara, they call you a 'family member' because you have a different last name as your husband??? Weird...I wonder if I will go through that, as I will not be changing my last name after marriage...so our last names would be different. I never thought it should be an issue...women never change their last name after marriage in many cultures. WAH...I don't want to be called 'the family member' too!

[caseysmom]

PCB....they call her that because they are not married...I believe....if you are married and tell them that they won't care about your last name.