...Really sad tonight...

[Cookiebaker]

I'm really heart broken tonight and need some good thoughts, please. Mark's Mom is back in the hospital and it really isn't looking good. (Some of you may remember that she almost died last September, but she bounced back and had a pretty good year.) She has multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone) and just went through a total hip replacement because the cancer has eaten the bone away.

Anyway, we have gone to visit her every night for the last week, and it is getting harder and harder to keep a happy face on. She is really down tonight, and she told us that Dad is really upset, even crying.

I don't even know how to convey how special of a person this is. She has never ever treated me like a "daughter-in-law" but rather a "daughter-in-love". She has one of the biggest hearts you can imagine, and as I realize that this might be the end, I just feel shattered inside. She was such a steady foundation, a rock in my life, someone that I leaned on, and I can't believe that it is all getting taken away before my eyes.

And as I am dealing with my own grief, I have no idea, NO IDEA how to help Mark through his grief. He's hurting inside and that kills me too.

Is life always this difficult?? How are we ever gonna get through this time???

[dukedogsmom]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I remember the pic you posted last year. She looked so happy. I know it's terribly hard to deal with. Try to be strong for her, though. When it's time for her to pass, just remember that she'll be at peace and happy for the rest of her spiritual life. I pray she has no pain and if she does, that it's something she can deal with. We can help you be strong for her.

[shutterbug0303]

watching something like that is one of the most horrible and saddest things anyone can have to do. Amazingly, the person in the situation is usually so much stronger than the ones surrounding them. I can't say I have any fantastic advice...but know that others have been there too. It was a big help to me to know exactly what was going on with my dad while he was sick...the changes his body was going through and things like that. It also helped a lot to talk to people who are going through the same thing. My mom and I always posted on the Johns Hopkin's message board relating directly to the cancer facing our family. The input others gave us was great!

If I may, let me direct you to my website...www.shutterbug0303.net/dad.htm
If you scroll to the bottom, there are links that describe the dragonfly background and a another link by Henry Van Dyke. Please read these and hopefully find some comfort in them.

I'm so sorry that you (or anyone) has to go through this. The best thing is to just be there for each other - and don't worry about keeping a happy face. We all know that every human only has so much emotional strength...it's ok to let it out. I will be sending my deepest and heartfelt prayers to your family

[moosmom]

I don't even know how to convey how special of a person this is

She has never ever treated me like a "daughter-in-law" but rather a "daughter-in-love". She has one of the biggest hearts you can imagine, and as I realize that this might be the end, I just feel shattered inside. She was such a steady foundation, a rock in my life, someone that I leaned on.

You just did!!! I absolutely KNOW how difficult it is to watch someone you care about so much go through something as painful as cancer.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, honey!! Stay strong. It's hard to do when your heart is breaking. Been there, done that with my own daughter and her brain cancer. There's really nothing you can do except be there for your family. Remember the good times.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[Kfamr]

Oh Anna... My heart breaks for all of you right now.
I know there's no words to make something like this better. She sounds like a truely wonderful person and sounds like the mother-in-law that my Memaw is for my mother.

Do know that my thoughts are with you, and if there's absolutely anything I am capable of doing for you... let me know.

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Karen]

You will be in our prayers.

I have no words to help you, just hugs. Remember to spend time telling funny stories to each other so she can laugh - that's a gift that a stranger could not give.

[Ginger's Mom]

I am so sorry. I don't have anything to offer you but hugs. I know what it is like watching someone fail like that, and it is difficult for the whole family. We are all here for you. Please reach out any time you need. You and your husband's family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[shais_mom]

I am so sorry to hear this Anna - you and Mark will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[gini]

You have my prayers during this very difficult time.

All of us will be here for you - and Mark DOES know that you are there for him too.

[K9karen]

Oh Anna, I have shivers down my spine. I can totally relate with your emotions. Watching those you love suffer so long and being helpless is unbearable and heartwrenching. Be there for her, comfort her and tell her how much you love her. I will keep her in my prayers . Please PM or email me if you want. It's still "fresh" for me too.

[Oggyflute]

Best thoughts and wishes to you and your family Anna. Get strength from those you love.

[orangemm]

I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL; it's a wonderful thing to have someone like that in your life and horribly sad when they leave. I can relate to what you are feeling because my MIL was like that, too. She was just as precious as my own mother and I still miss her to this day.

Lots of prayers going up for her, your husband and you.

(((((hugs)))))

[RobiLee]

Anna, I'm so so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that could help you. Just know that you can come here and talk about things whenever you need to. We all care. I will keep you, Mark and your mother-in-law in my thoughts and prayers.

{{HUGS}}

[Logan]

Anna, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is to keep up the "happy" face when you are there. I don't think it hurts for you to let her see how emotional it is for you because you love her so much. At this stage of her illness, I'm sure she already knows what her future is and there is no reason to pretend, but constantly reminding her of happy times, how much you appreciate how she has treated you, etc could do nothing but make her feel good. Cry together, laugh together and try to keep your chin up. I know she appreciates the fact that you and Mark are there for her.

We'll keep you all in our prayers.

Logan