For teens and moms of teens... (womanly issues)

[catnapper]

My 15 year old daughter has some very painful menstrual cycles. She often is doubled over in pain during her "time of the month" and you can tell just by looking at her that she's feeling awful. She is a trooper and never misses school, but she does cut out her sports (which she lives for -- she just can't tolerate standing and running)

She takes OTC stuff like Pamprin, Motrin, etc to help the pain. She takes hot showers, uses heating pads, etc to deal as well.

My husband for YEARS swore cramps were something women made up (I am NOT kidding when I say this) and he said it was something just had to "shake off". Then he sees what my daughter is like and he's finally convinced they are real. You see, my daughter is a tough little girl. She plays soccer and plays a physical game of running into people, heading the balls, etc. She *always* walks off the field with a new lump or bruise. He's seen her collide heads with a girl and come up with a concussion... and even THAT didn't stop her from wanting to play. So when he sees her sitting on the bench, pale faced as if she's about to pass out and begging the couch NOT to put her in.... well, he suddenly reallizes cramps are very real.

He's finally let me take her to the doctor to see what can be done. But really, what CAN be done for her? The only thing I've ever heard of doctors being able to do was prescribe "the pill". Hubby absolutely flat-out says NO WAY to that one. As a mom, I kinda agree that giving a 15 year old the pill is not every parent's dream because the feeling is she'll think she's now invicible and has a license to have lots of sex. I don't know... this daughter is too level headed to do that..... but still, she has had the same boyfriend for a year now

Anyway, is there anything else they can do for her with today's medicine and medical technology, or is the old tried and true the only way? Would it be so bad to put her on the pill if it means no more pain?

[Karen]

Putting her on the pill will regulate the hormones that are causing her this pain, I guess. It doesn't give her license to have sex, as the pill doesn't protect from any STDs or any emotional consequences. Having her NOT doubled over in pain has got to be a good thing, right? She has my sympathy, I had one friend in high school who went through that, and it was just not fun.

[caseysmom]

I know of a teenage girl, my daughters team mate had to do this, it has helped her a lot. I think if she wanted to have sex this probably would not make a difference or visa versa.

[Friendy2004]

I don't post much, but I relate to this really well.

I was in the same situation as your daughter for a long time, and it took a while for my parents to realize that I did not see the pill as a free pass for sex, but as something that I needed so that my life was not interupted for several days, every month.

If your daughter is really level-headed and has common sense, and as long as you can talk to her about your concerns openly, please get her a prescription as soon as you can. She will thank you 10 fold, and one way she will do that is by not disappointing you

[new mom to a veiled]

When I was a teenager I had similar problems. There is a script for Annaprox (sp?) They are huge blue pills, and they take the edge off. Speak with her Dr. about your concerns with the pill. I took the Annaprox for about a year and it stopped working, so I was switched to the pill anyway. As far as the "license for sex" I don't think the pill will make any diff. She sounds pretty responsible and will make her decisions with or with out the pill.

[king2005]

The poor girl. Mine were so bad I couldn't walk & cried in pain. Pain meds, hot shower, hot pad, laying on or off my belly, did nothing.

I delt with it for a few years, until I turned 16. I met Rob & saw that the pill was a wise idea. I started on it & in a couple months there was no pain. I still felt blah duing my weekly, but no knee dropping.

If your husband doesn't want her on the pill, put her on the patch (Evera). Get her to put it where he cannot see it & if he finds the box tell him its a new pain killer or something.

I was lucky, my dad was a big suporter & bought me everything so I wouldn't feel embarassed.


I've been on the patch for over a year now & its much better then the pill. I started to get sick all the time & had horrible head pains & belly pains (not cramps). The Dr. told me many girls get it & asked if I wanted to try a new product, called Evera.

At first Evera was a pain in the butt & I lost some skin (ouch). I've learned that putting it on your upper arm was the best spot. I cannot feel it there & its easy to remove. Its best to remove it during a hot shower & slowly removing it. Its NOT like a bandaid, it can &/or will remove skin if ripped off. Its also a myth that the hair on your arm if shaved off will get dark & thick. My hair hasn't changed at all. its still blond & thin. Also removing & putting on the new patch is best done on a sunday, because if your working, you'll be done by 6ish, & since there is school the next day, you'll be home to be able to take a shower.

I don't get any head pains or belly pains anymore. The worst thing I get is dry skin near the patch & bed fuzz stuck aound it. but its easy to deal with, I just put a moisturizer on it & the dry skin goes away, & I pick off the fuzz with my finger nails (its super easy to remove).

Best of Luck

[dukedogsmom]

I can't believe that she has the chance to get rid of her pain and because it's the birth control pill, that you won't consider that. If she wants to have sex, she'll do it, regardless of being on the pill or not. I would think getting rid of her pain would be top priority. It will also make her feel better mentally. I hope you change your mind.

[catnapper]

Thanks guys. I KNOW the pill isn't a license to have sex. Thats hubby's and a lot of other parent's concern. I've spoken with her about it, telling her even if she was on the pill that its not something to fall back on for sex because teens and the pill aren't good combos because they often miss a daily dose -- this girl forgets to take her daily vitamins! I told her that if she misses a day, or is even 12 hours late in taking it, that pregnancy CAN happen. She KNOWS that. She also knows she'll forget to take it at least once a week.

Yes, she is incredibly level headed. I say if the doctor recommends it, then we need to get it for her. I've been trying to talk him into this one for a year now... as has hubby's sister. If I go behind his back to get her the pill and hide it.... not good. One thing about us, we NEVER lie, about ANYTHING. and I tell the kids that -- no matter what happened, no matter how much trouble you think you'll get into, tell the truth. To go behind his back in this one... I couldn't do it and wouldn't do it.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

I can relate to that so very well. I had the same problem when I had your daughter's age. But... remember that I am talking about 1971...! My parents were very conservative, and when my obstetrician told them that taking the pill was the only way, my dad just became hysterial. Luckily, my mom could talk some sense into him, so I got "the pill" when I was 17. I had to swear not to take "advantage" of this . No worries, I was a good girl !
Since then, I didn't have any more problems. I was happy again
After we got married, we wanted to have kids, so I had to stop with that pill. The cramps came back and often kept me home from work.... .
We didn't get any kids of our own though... .
Since about 15 years, I am taking the pill again, as those cramps were so unbearable that I had to stay in bed every time. Now, it is all better again.

My advice: let your daughter take that pill. She won't be feeling so miserable again. I know it will make it easier for her to have sex, but at least she will be so much happier. Don't worry, she will be be very thankful for your trust!

[Laura's Babies]

I agree with dukesmom. Getting rid of the pain is the first priority here! If there is something on the market that will help her, I wouldn't hesitate. The sex issue is another whole issue to me.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I wholeheartedly agree with Val(dukedogsmom). She needs the pill to change her life and if it helps her that much, then let her have it. Val is so right in saying, if she wants to have sex she'll have it anyway. I would change her quality of life and look at the pill as therapeutic rather than suggestive. She sounds like a great kid. Best of luck with the problem

[crsvstang]

My aunt had the same problems with her period when she was younger. There was nothing that would help until she got on the pill. She still had some problems, but nothing like when she was not on the pill. I remember when she used to cry and scream because she had such bad cramps.

I think you and your husband should really consider putting her on the pill.

[Donnaj4962]

I can relate to this, as this was me when I was younger. My parents opted to go against the doctors suggestion... and no pill. I had to endure the pain. Every month, it was just a given that I would miss at least one day of school. Once I was able to pay for my own medications, I began taking the pill, and what a difference it made! I was amazed at how the week would fly by with little or no pain! I hope that your husband will re-think his decision. Remember that you have done everything you can to talk with her about the ramifications of having sex and that you have raised a level headed child! She is fortunate as many teens don't have parents that will even talk with them about the issue. I agree that you should NOT go behind your husband's back to get the pills for your daughter. That is not the responsible thing to teach your child about relationships. I hope this has helped. Just to let you know, I am now 43, no longer on the pill, and my cycle is not near what it was when I was younger! It does get better!

[mruffruff]

I really think the Anaprox should be given a chance. It helped me tremendously.

[Corinna]

I understand the whole problem as I've been there with my daughter . We finally did get her the pill. Helped a lot but then she too got ill from it the patch has been the God sent. Even now as a married woman she uses it.It has to be the best thing ever invented.
If you have taught her the values you beleive in and keep reinforcing them she should do the right choices. As others have said after a year if they haven't this won't change that. Trust her to be smart.