Grrr... family members!

[catnapper]

My brother called me tonight for his yearly brotherly duty of wishing me a happy birthday. We only talk to each other twice a year - once on his birthday, once on mine. Of course mom keeps us updated on each other (whether we care to be updated or not).

Anyhoooo.... he called tonight and asked what I did for my birthday and I excitedly told him about Nessa and Elfie's adoption. He said "wow, thats good. You need to get rid of those cats. What are you up to now? Mom said something about 8?" Silly me corrected him and admitted to the 9 I have. Then he launched into a lecture of how thats "7 cats too many" and how thats too much work for me.... "what do you do, change litter 3 times a day" No, I corrected him and said "I SCOOP three times a day. I take the trash out at night anyway." Then I asked him, "Besides, how many times a day do you have to walk the dogs? At least three, right? and you carry pooper scoopers and such with you, right? So how is THAT any different than me scooping three times a day?"

UGH! Why does he spoil my high? I was feelign so awesome tongiht and with one five minute phonecall I'm irritated and annoyed.

What is it with supposedly "well meaning" family members who stick their opinions where they don't belong? Do I question how he can be a "strict vegan" and still eat cheese pizza, but refuse to drink milk? Do I question why he chose to buy 2 HUGE SUVs in these gas conscious times? Do I question his choice to work night shift? NO! So what makes him think he's free to question MY choices?

[catmandu]

I GET,THE SAME NONSENSE,BUT I JUST TOLD THEM,THAT I LOVE,THE CATS MORE THAN I DO THEM,AND IF ANYONE,WAS GOING,TO BE LEFT OUT IN THE COLD,IT WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE MY CATS.
NOW,I GET NO MORE INTERFERENCE,FROM WHAT,IS LEFT,OF MY FAMILY.



UP AGAINST,THE WALL,CAT HATERS!!

HAHA!! WE LOVE OUR DAD,AND WE ARE GRATEFUL,THAT HE HAS NO LIMITS,AND ROOM,IN HIS HEART,FOR US ALL.

[caseysmom]

Gently remind your brother that its your life and he can "KISS OFF"....just kidding....I hate that kind of stuff too but some people just don't get it do they?

[G535]

That old saying about how you can pick your friends but are stuck with your relatives is so true. I just agree with everything they say and as soon as they have gone go on with life as usual.

[jenluckenbach]

I am sorry, but I understand. I don't even talk to my dad or siblings about my cats (or my life in general). All I would get is judgement or boredom.
Next year when he calls tell him you are too busy enjoying your birthday to allow him to bad mouth you and hang up.

[Barbara]

Understand it as well. With my sister communication has to stick to a very thin surface.

Just keep your yearly routine up- two times a year is something you will just manage

[Killearn Kitties]

You are obviously far too polite, Kim. Perhaps something along these lines would work better?

"Oh thanks so much ... a poisonous lecture for my birthday ... it's just what I've always wanted! Really you shouldn't have ... it's too much!
Speak to you next year. Bye!"

[catnapper]

Originally posted by Killearn Kitties
"Oh thanks so much ... a poisonous lecture for my birthday ... it's just what I've always wanted! Really you shouldn't have ... it's too much!
Speak to you next year. Bye!"

ROTFLMBO! Karen! I wish you were here with me! Man, what a great line!

I've had to realize over the years that my brother and I are two completely different people. He'll say black and I'll say white, and neither of the two of us will ever agree on grey. If we did, then we'd be arguing over grEy or grAy.

I'm in a better mood now, thanks to my son who's in college - he called me to wish me a happy birthday. I wasn't even worried that he'd call because I know he's overwhelmed with classes and his cross country duties. But he called. Good boy!

[orangemm]

You'll get more love & devotion from your babies than you will from some family members, so just go with the flow.

If anyone ever criticizes my love or caring for my guys all I'll say is "they were here and YOU weren't". End of conversation.

[Corinna]

I have differnt look at it SOrry but at least he calls you (badly yes but a call none the less) My Brother lives 3 hours from me and I never hear from him . Mom tells me when she does (which isn't unless one of his darling kids did something dumb) (not unlike him as a kid) No cards or anythinng noi even at christmas. I send e-mails which never are answered gifts to kids no thank yous . So I give up but my daughter needed the five acres mowed when hubby was gone guess who came did it and left town and I didn't even get a phone call.
Bad call or not at least yours cares enough to say something to you.

[tricollie4me]

Catnapper, sorry to hear you're frustrated with your brother. I do wonder why some folks (friends and family alike) want so desperately to judge our choices -- as if our life decisions actually impact them in some way!

In my case, hubby and I have five kids. We adore being parents. We also have a dog and three cats. We adore our furbabies! We keep a happy, well-organized home and are completely independent, but for some reason, others want to tell us how many kids we should have had, or on the matter of our recently adopting our sibling pair of orange & whites, folks offered comments like "gee, don't you know what two more kittens will do to your house? Are you ready for that?" Sigh. You know, my husband and I really did want a bunch of kids. And we really did want to adopt our collie pup from a local rescue. And we really do know what three cats will "do" to our house...add fun, love, companionship and a laugh or two after a long day to our already blessed family! I just don't get why someone would feel righteous enough to decide for me or anyone else what makes a "good" number of kids or pets or whatever! I would never presume to know what makes someone else tick -- a new baby? Great! Another dog? Awesome! A pretty pair of orange & whites (tee hee)? Perfect! There's a reason for the phrase, "to each his own."

And by the way, pottying the pup and scooping four litter boxes is nothing compared to still having two youngsters in diapers, lol!

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by tricollie4me

And by the way, pottying the pup and scooping four litter boxes is nothing compared to still having two youngsters in diapers, lol!

LOL, how true that is! With 7 cats and one child in diapers...I can tell you it is FAR easier to scoop than change a diaper! LOLOL


Catnapper, as to your brother/issue- I would just tell him,'okay, I get your point, anything else to talk about?"

[Catsnclay]

Oh Kim, I feel sorry for you. I too was once in your positon, but learned very *quickly* how to handle the situation.

You need to be gracious and kind, but do NOT offer any insite to your life. I know that sounds cruel, but your family sounds oh so much like mine. They ask questions to be "friendly" then turn on you and stab you in the back with the knowledge that they have. So don't give them anything to get back at you with.

When your brother calls the next time to wish you a happy Birthday, acknowlege it - sweetly - then YOU start asking questions (how's your life, family, etc) Then say (once again , sweetly) "Well thanks for calling, but I must go now." Done, end of the dutiful phone call.

If you want to PM me we can exchange horror stories!!


BTW- HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lvpets2002]

I am sorry he saddened your Birthday.. The next conversation you have with him ask him if he wants salt or pepper with that roll of duck tape for his mouth.. Then if he starts on you again then say you live your life & I will live mine the way I want too & or hit the receiver on the wall & say must have a bad connection..

By the way Happy Birthday

[CalliesMom]

Yes, Happy Belated Birthday. My family makes fun of me too for being the "crazy cat lady." Whatever..just because my cats are fed properly and I give a crap about them doesn't mean that I'm strange. People in my family view their pets as possessions and not family members..their loss...not mine.