Friends playing "grown-ups"

[kimboe]

I noticed that everyone around me is married, engaged or having kids,especially having kids. And they are so young (early 18 to 22) When I see a friend I haven't seen in awhile we catch-up on eachother and they tell me they are either engaged or having kids, they ask me if I'm doing the same and I reply "No"
And they give me this look like "Oh, Thats too Bad.." I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for three years, and I love him. But I just feel that i'm still to young to get married or to have kids and I want the freedom to do what I want whenever and not have to worry about a babysitter!
I think what really bothers me is my girlfriends are having kids when they themselfs are still kids.
Does any one else feel this way?

[catnapper]

Follow your heart. For some people, having children in their early 20s is just fine for them, for others they are not ready for such a step and end up resenting their spouse, their children, their lives. If you know its not for you, then you are right!

When I was young, I also thought the same ting. I thought my brother was too young when he got married at 24, with his wife being 23. But they are still going strong 7 years later, so who can tell? I was 28 when I finally got married. That was the perfect timing for me.

[caseysmom]

Kimboe....it sounds like you are the smartest one of the bunch! Seriously you are giving yourself time to enjoy your life before settling down to the HUGE committment of children...good for you and you should follow your heart.

[PJ's Mom]

Originally posted by caseysmom
Kimboe....it sounds like you are the smartest one of the bunch!

I agree. When it's time, you'll know.

I was married at 18 and had my first daughter at 19. I went on to have 3 more kids in 2 years. (twins) While I don't regret having kids (my kids are awesome!) I do regret having to grow up with them.

[dukedogsmom]

I agree that you are way too young. You change a whole bunch in your early 20's. As for having kids, I don't understand the stigma and pressure of every woman on the earth having to have them.

[caseysmom]

Kids are a bit like animals...there are way too many for this planet and there are unwanted ones...and there are parents that don't take good care of the ones they have and some people that have some because they are "cute" ...hehe wait till they hit their teens!

[kimboe]

Thanks guys for your encouragement, It feels better knoiwng that I'm not shunned because I'm not having kids. I will want to have children of my own or even adopt but I think I'll wait when I feel that I can be a good teacher and role model. Till then I'm going to enjoy life as a young adult!
( i was told that if you can have a well behaved dog you are almost ready to be a parent)
Thanks everyone

[caseysmom]

I don't think parenthood is for everyone, in fact sometimes I think "what the heck was I thinking!". It is a lot of work and is greatly underappreciated most of the time, thank goodness not everyone reproduces, I see nothing wrong with people that don't have kids.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I got married at 21 and I don't regret it at all I am glad though that we are waiting to have kids. I myself would rather know that I'm financially and emotionally secure before I took on the responsability of having a child.
I also DJ as my second job...I don't think having a small child at nightclubs and parties is a very good idea

[slleipnir]

I couldn't even imagen myself having kids right now..I KNOW I'm not mature enough. I think you're smart for knowing what is best for you

[Sirrahsim]

It's different for everybody. you can't let anyone pressure you to do something that you aren't ready for. I got married at 18 and was only 20 when I had my sweet little boy. It was the perfect choice for myself as I feel like being a Mom has been my calling all along. Some 20 year olds are ready for that next step and some aren't. I for one have no regrets

[caseysmom]

Missy, your very mature for your age. I didn't mean that anyone who marries young is not smart, look at the beautiful family you have. I was 20 when I got married and am 44 now and still married, it just depends on the person.

I just meant its smart to do what is best for you and not follow along with others.

[Sirrahsim]

I didn't take it personally, don't worry

[neko1]

Originally posted by dukedogsmom
As for having kids, I don't understand the stigma and pressure of every woman on the earth having to have them.

THANK YOU!!!!!! For 7 years I have been constantly hounded about having kids!!!

I got engaged when I was 21 and didn't get married until I was 26. And I have no intention of having kids. The only person who seems to understand that is my mother.

Marriage and kids all depends on the people involved-everyone matures at a different rate. Also, not everyone wants to party and date random people in their 20's. I never had the desire to do that. I never dated a bunch of people in my early 20's, nor have I ever been to a club, and I was never interested in partying.

[JenBKR]

Originally posted by DJFyrewolf36
I got married at 21 and I don't regret it at all I am glad though that we are waiting to have kids. I myself would rather know that I'm financially and emotionally secure before I took on the responsability of having a child.
I also DJ as my second job...I don't think having a small child at nightclubs and parties is a very good idea

I am in a very similar situation - I was married at 21, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm 26 now, and we both want kids but agree that now is not the time. I am just enjoying my freedom right now. People ask me all the time when we are going to have kids, like there is something wrong with me! Argg it gets annoying. My SIL actually told me that if I don't hurry up it will be too late