GHETTO RESUME
Rozonda LaQueeta "Pookie" Jenkins
2036 South Side Skreet Projects
Compton, CA 11122
Phone: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th.
OBJECTIVE
To one day fulfill my dream of becoming a SoulTrain Dancer and, you know, just gittin my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist in the 'hood.'
SKILLS
I do hurh and nails in my kitchen and I use my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I do braids in any texture or color; synthetoc or human hurh.
EDUCATION
The "GET YOURS" Home Correspondence Course, INC:
Big Mamma's House of Hurh'N Nails 'N Fried Chicken 'N Stuff (Gradiated with honuhrs for the most extensions don in a year's time)
WORK EXPERIENCE
January 10, 1999-January 30, 1999
Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait 'N TackleShop
Reason for leaving; I got sick 'n tired of Big Daddy hittin on me.
March 1, 1999-November 1, 1999
The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium
I loveded this job cuz they gave me a free toof ary monf and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cuz I let one of my homeboys sniff the laughing gas. He just smelt it, he don't do drugs no mo.
November 2, 1999-November 10, 1999
My Baby Daddy's Day Care Center Car Wash & Barber Shop
Reason for leaving: They tried to work a sistuh ta deaf and I got thangs ta do
November 12, 1999- November 14, 1999
Kim Fung Toi's House of Rice & Skrimps and Stuff
Reason For Leaving: You don't even wanna know
Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube
Reason for leaving: Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on an overflow of activator.
The Ike Turner Pimp Slap Recovery Center (They have lovely commodations; yes I worked there and was a patient too.)
Reason for leaving: Center closed down cuz Tina Turner done refused Ike's request to give a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside haself since she a big star and arythang.
He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush, Tennessee.
REFERENCES:
Lawanda Jenkins (from up da skreet)
Hezakiah Clevestus "The Playa" Jones (my homie's cuzzin's babydaddy)
The Right Reverend Aliza Benjarmin "ineedadrank" O'grady (pastor of the Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Latter Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Sanctified Non-Denominational Baptist Church Inc., a not-for-profit agency.)
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If ur frum da Sawf, you'll prolly be able to pronounce and understand this whole thang.
Reply With Quote
I sure wouldn't hire you to
But if you think the resume is offensive, the pic that came with it was worse. 
if you dont like it, thats what the little X is for at the top!
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