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Thread: What Good "Village Idiot" Stories Do You Have?

  1. #1
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    What Good "Village Idiot" Stories Do You Have?

    Indiana Man Wins 'Village Idiot' Award

    STORY, Ind. (April 10) - The competition was fierce and foolish, but a man who accidentally sawed through a live wire and topped that by wrecking his truck hours after buying it more than earned the honorary title "Village Idiot."

    Mark Carmichael's blunders won him the good-natured award that's been handed out for years in the tiny Brown County town of Story. The winner is whoever gets the most votes from regulars at the Story Inn's saloon.

    Carmichael, the inn's maintenance man, won in part for an incident in which he cut through a live wire while using a circular saw to replace the inn's galvanized steel roof. But he also damaged his just-purchased 1998 Dodge truck - the day after he got it - by getting it stuck atop a whiskey barrel planter outside the inn.

    His foolishness earned the 27-year-old a $100 bar tab at the Story Still.

    Rick Hofstetter, who owns the inn about 40 miles south of Indianapolis, said the competition for this year's award was fierce.

    For example, two Story Inn regulars were nominated for knocking themselves unconscious while opening their car doors. Another was nominated for burning down his front porch after not fully extinguishing a cigarette in a full ashtray.

    Bartender Evan McMahon was nominated for opening an $80 bottle of Chalk Hill Chardonnay to make a $6.50 wine spritzer for a bar patron.

    Not to be outdone, Story Inn housekeeper Kathy Newhall earned her nomination for using French truffle oil from the kitchen, which costs $50 for a 3-ounce bottle, to quiet a squeaky toilet seat.

    But it was Carmichael who came out on top. The bar's patrons had more than enough evidence to give him the honor - not least of which was the pig roast incident.

    "I cooked a couple of hogs out there on some bed springs once," he explained to a dismayed visitor.

    Carmichael had cut the carcasses in half with a chain saw, then used a pitchfork to turn the meat as it cooked. He ended up serving up the portions with a hatchet.

    "People loved it," he said. "We called it Louisiana style."
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  2. #2
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    Not to turn this political or anything....but I saw a bumper sticker regarding village iditos that just cracked me up! Please, no political responses here as I just don't really care - and also because I don't want Jan's fun thread to turn political....but I just thought this was hilarious.

    Bumper sticker:

    Somewhere in Texas
    a village is missing its idiot
    Tubby
    Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
    RIP Big Boy
    -----------
    Peanut
    Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
    RIP Snotty Girl
    -----------
    Robin
    Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
    RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl

  3. #3
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    Why is it that when the word "idiot" is mentiones, certian people you know pop into your head?

    #1 was a Captain I worked for for about 3 trips.. He thought he was the coolest and the smartest person on earth, and was such a complete IDIOT! EVERYONE laughed at him behind his back all the time and no one made a idiot out of him more than he did himself. He is the King of "Idiots"!

    The guys use to set things up to pull jokes on him that would make him madder than a wet hen and he would throw tempertantrums that reminded you of a 3 year old and everyone would sit back and laugh their butts off... One guy told me after I got off the boat that he had glued his bathroom door shut.. The idiot eventually got himself fired for his stupidity.

    To show you how stupid he is... his long lost daughter contacted him after years of not seeing her. Not long into this new found realtionship, she asked him for a new car, she wanted a new SUV, so he bought it for her and went to the boat. She called and told him she didn't like it and the dealership was willing to take it back and let her get a car but he had to sign the paperwork and he agreed. She sent the paperwork to the boat, he signed and sent it back. ((now, what dealership do any of you know that will take back a brand new purchased car and let you get another one in it's place????) Seems she got the SUV for her boyfriend and wanted a car for herself so he had TWO to pay for.. Top top it off, he came back to the boat telling this!!

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
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    Michigan
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    Not a "Village Idiot" story, but close...

    Our family belong to the Oldsmobile Outdoors Club. On various weekends, the entire group goes camping at select campgrounds across Michigan.

    The group has a 'Green Weenie' award that is given to someone for doing something..well.... dumb.

    My sister was a receipent one year for locking herself in the shower stall.

    Not on purpose. The shower house at this specific campground was a large concrete building with heavy metal doors on each shower room. Somehow the lock stuck and she could not get out. After a half hour we got her out. Still can't figure out how she did it. And boy was she ever embarressed.
    ~Kimmy, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, Mei, Jasper, Esme, & Lucy Inara
    RIP Kia, Chipper, Morla, & June

  5. #5
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    Deb, I've seen similar bumper stickers (not state specific). Laura, that captain/village idiot takes the cake! He must have been in that bathroom a very long time in order for the glue to dry lol! Can you ask him to buy me a car too? Kimmy...sure hope somebody threw your sister a towel!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Illinois
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    Originally posted by Tubby & Peanut's Mom

    Bumper sticker:

    Somewhere in Texas
    a village is missing its idiot
    I almost bought that one!
    Are whole town is full of idiots!

    Niņo & Eliza



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