How pathetic and depressing...

[Tonya]

This is just a woes me thread, sorry. It seems like the more married and motherly I get, the more friends disappear. I still have my group of single friends (or at least I thought). We normally get together and exchange gifts and whatnot every Christmas. They've recently all had their little gift exchange, since I'm on bedrest I chose not to go. It was at a bar...so it would have been especially pathetic for me to go. Being ol' reliable that I am, I called each and everyone of them ahead of time and let them know I couldn't make it. They all said they'd like to come over to my house this week in that case.

Anyways, so I decided to have a small girly party here tonight. Just some wine and appetizers, nothing big. I invited 20 of my friends (assuming that more then half would flake). Not one of them RSVP'd or even called to say they couldn't make it.

It started at 6:30pm, it's 6:40 now and no one is here. I'd love to put all this stuff away and go to bed. With my luck, as soon as I did that, a group of them would show with that "Sorry I didn't call first and sorry I am late" line.

On the brighter side, it got me to get my house cleaned up. I had someone come over today and totally clean and organize my house.

[catnapper]

Oh Tonya! I'm sorry! I know how it is that friends fall by the wayside once your life no longer parallels theirs, but this is just inexcusable.

Put that food away and take a bubblebath. If the doorbell rings - make them wait!

[Karen]

I had a big group of friends in college in my Illustration major, we were called "the Louds." I was first to get married - the summer after college, and fewer and fewer kept in touch with me. I went to a few weddings, they came to some parties my housemates threw, but that was about it.

That was okay, really, my best friend of them all came to work with me, we worked together for almost 8 years after college. She was more diligent about keeping up with "the gang," and gives me all the latest news of the rest, and they of me. When she got married 5 years ago, most of "the Louds" were there, and one of them, Dave, introduced me to his girlfriend by saying, "This is Karen, she got married and lived happily ever after, so we all stopped talkin' to her!" We laughed, and he he gave me a hug "Well, we WERE all jealous - you were happy!"

Bet your friends are just envious, that's all!

It's okay, WE still love ya!

[moosmom]

Tonya,

Ya know what? I think it's VERY common when a woman either marries or gets a steady beau to kind of "forget" her friends. But the minute the love affair is over with, BANG, they're on the phone to you crying about what a cad the guy was. It's happened to me many times. I just try not to take it personally, although in your case, since you went to all that trouble of making a party, I think it was QUITE rude of them not to at least call you and RSVP. And I'd also let them know how angry and hurt you are. Their insensitivity amazes me.

I'm sorry they did that to you. It's just plain wrong.

((((((hugs)))))) to you!

Donna

[slick]

Maybe I can also give you some insight from a single person. I have many acquaintences and friends that are both single and married with children. The relationships differ, of course, but one thing remains constant. I would be there for them if they needed me. With the married ones, I am friends with the husbands too, because, like you, they come as a package deal.

On the other hand, I have also been dumped by married couples because they are too busy in their own little world to let single people in and that's what disgusts me. One such couple actually made me feel like an outcast because I couldn't join in on the "baby conversations". Quite frankly, I'd rather discuss cat poo than baby poo.

I'm sorry that no one has shown up. You'd think at least they would call. That's really rude. If I could, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

[Katiesmom]

How rude!!! I tell ya you think you know who your friends are then they go and pull something like this. Like someone else said I would let them know how hurt and angry you are about this. I mean you went through to much trouble getting this party ready! I lost all of my friends because I got married and had a baby. I was really hurt by it too. On my birthday which was Monday my best friend from way back when actually called me and told me happy b-day and she hasn't done that in years. So needless to say I was surprised by that. Today is her b-day so I guess I will call her and tell her happy b-day! Anyways, sorry this happened to you ((((((hugs))))))

[mina'smomma]

If I had the money to fly out there I would of been there dear. We could of had a blast.

[moosmom]

Have I got a story for you!

When I was married, my then husband and I used to hang out with my very best friend in the whole world from elementary school and her husband. We'd do lots of things together. Then when my husband and I got divorced, I stopped hearing from my friend Susie. I was devastated! I didn't know what I had done wrong, if I insulted her. I had heard through the grapevine that she had two children. I mean, all through our childhood, we were inseparable!!! Then I never heard from her again.

About 12 years after my divorce, I got a job at a law firm and decided to look Susie up. I called and left a message on their answering machine. I got a phone call at home later that night. Susie and HER husband had divorced and his current wife called to give me her phone number. I was overjoyed and a little apprehensive because I really was clueless as to what went wrong. We set up a meeting at her house. I brought my daughter and finally met her two kids. It was a wonderful reuinion, one that I will cherish as long as I live.

Come to find out, my cry baby of an ex-husband went over to their house (they were still married while I was going through my divorce) and cried the blues, airing our dirty laundry to them!!! Susie's husband forbid her to continue her friendship with me because he said I was a bad influence on her!!! I was furious!! How dare my ex ruin my friendship with someone who was MY friend for more years than I had known him!

We lost 12 years of a friendship over our stupid husbands but have gained so much in the end. She was there for me when my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, when my Dad died and I was there for her when her Mom was sick, and eventually passed away 4 months after my father. We even tried fixing my father up with her mother. THAT is a whole other story in itself!!!

Susie and I have since become sole sisters. We talk to each other a couple times a week. She looks after my daughter and they go out have a girls night out every once in a while. Susie was also the one who took my Dad's cat in when my father died, because Tigger didn't get along with my cats.

Now THAT is a lifelong friendship that I hold near and dear to my heart and always will. I love her dearly and would do ANYTHING for her.

My eyes are watering, I get so emotional.

[Laura's Babies]

My girlfriends and I had a saying that we stood by "Boyfriends/husbands may come and go.... but your FRIENDS are there forever!". To do that to you, they are not really your true friends.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by moosmom
Have I got a story for you!

When I was married, my then husband and I used to hang out with my very best friend in the whole world from elementary school and her husband. We'd do lots of things together. Then when my husband and I got divorced, I stopped hearing from my friend Susie. I was devastated! I didn't know what I had done wrong, if I insulted her. I had heard through the grapevine that she had two children. I mean, all through our childhood, we were inseparable!!! Then I never heard from her again.

About 12 years after my divorce, I got a job at a law firm and decided to look Susie up. I called and left a message on their answering machine. I got a phone call at home later that night. Susie and HER husband had divorced and his current wife called to give me her phone number. I was overjoyed and a little apprehensive because I really was clueless as to what went wrong. We set up a meeting at her house. I brought my daughter and finally met her two kids. It was a wonderful reuinion, one that I will cherish as long as I live.

Come to find out, my cry baby of an ex-husband went over to their house (they were still married while I was going through my divorce) and cried the blues, airing our dirty laundry to them!!! Susie's husband forbid her to continue her friendship with me because he said I was a bad influence on her!!! I was furious!! How dare my ex ruin my friendship with someone who was MY friend for more years than I had known him!

We lost 12 years of a friendship over our stupid husbands but have gained so much in the end. She was there for me when my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, when my Dad died and I was there for her when her Mom was sick, and eventually passed away 4 months after my father. We even tried fixing my father up with her mother. THAT is a whole other story in itself!!!

Susie and I have since become sole sisters. We talk to each other a couple times a week. She looks after my daughter and they go out have a girls night out every once in a while. Susie was also the one who took my Dad's cat in when my father died, because Tigger didn't get along with my cats.

Now THAT is a lifelong friendship that I hold near and dear to my heart and always will. I love her dearly and would do ANYTHING for her.

My eyes are watering, I get so emotional.

Awww, you have me tearing up first thing in the morning. That is a touching story. I am glad that you and Susie were able to meet up again. You would have never known otherwise.

You know, I kind of expected this out of these friends. They've always been this way. And I guess I'm easy to flake on because I don't ever show my anger. I let them walk all over me. I woke up this morning with a few messges from them. They were all like 8-11pm. They were all basically saying "Sorry I couldn't make it, I was just so beat from all the Christmas shopping."

Oh well. I've got enough reliable friends. I should let the past go and just focus on the dear friends that I do have. My problem is that once I love someone, I don't let them go no matter how far we grow apart. I need to accept that people change (including myself) and that life takes different directions.

[BCBlondie]

Sorry about your friends bailing on you.. I would have come! Too bad I'm like 3 hours away..

moosmom - Wow, what a touching story. Having a friend for life is probably one of the most precious things one can have.

[moosmom]

I'm sorry I made you cry, Tonya. But I just wanted you to know that sooner or later you realize who your REALfriends are. I have met and made friends with so many wonderful people here at PT. They have kept me sane these two loooooooong years in Michigan. I love them all.

Lifelong friends are ones you make waaaay back when you are young and the friendship never ends. I have another friend who I have known since I was 18 months old. My parents and her parents were best friends. We grew up together. She, too, went through so much with me throughout the years. Those are the kinds of friends who stand by you, no matter what.

Ya know, if it were me, I would've made an appearance at your party, no matter how tired I was.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday and know that you have some really cool friends right here on PT.

Group hug!!!

(((((((((( ))))))))))))))))

[kimlovescats]

Tonya ... so was that the final result ... NO ONE showed up???

I don't think I'd be inviting them again. To me, my husband is the best friend I could ever have, and more loyal than any other friend has ever been!

(((HUGS)))
kim

[Tonya]

Originally posted by moosmom
I'm sorry I made you cry, Tonya. But I just wanted you to know that sooner or later you realize who your REALfriends are. I have met and made friends with so many wonderful people here at PT. They have kept me sane these two loooooooong years in Michigan. I love them all.

Lifelong friends are ones you make waaaay back when you are young and the friendship never ends. I have another friend who I have known since I was 18 months old. My parents and her parents were best friends. We grew up together. She, too, went through so much with me throughout the years. Those are the kinds of friends who stand by you, no matter what.

Ya know, if it were me, I would've made an appearance at your party, no matter how tired I was.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday and know that you have some really cool friends right here on PT.

Group hug!!!

(((((((((( ))))))))))))))))

It's ok, it was a good cry! It wasn't a sad cry,

Kimlovescats- Yeah, no one showed. Oh well. You are right, my husband is the best friend that I can ever have. He's my ol' reliable. Well...sort of. haha As reliable as a man gets. But he's deffinately my ol' faithful!