I want thanksgiving to be over with.

[CamCamPup33]

Usually i LOVE thanksgiving. This year, i don't. I want it to be gone already. During thanksgiving, our house is usually flooded with family. All of my aunts, my cousins, my grandparents. Everyone. Not this year though. My parent's are fighting with just about all of their siblings. My dad and my mother are mad at my dad's sister because of recent problems, they moved to georgia about 5 months ago. They don't talk anymore. My mom is in fights with her brothers. She has 3, and shes mad at 2 of them.

My grandma, and grandpa on my dad's side are going up for thanksgiving with my aunt in georgia. My other grandma, on my mom's side is going to Tennessee with her Sister. My oldest sister, is going to NY, my oldest brother moved to GA a few months ago, and my dad will be working. All that leaves is My mom, My sister, My brother, Cami and Me. I don't think my mom will even bother to cook.

I feel like crying right now. I miss my family, i don't get to see my cousins or my aunt's and uncle's and more. Holidays are just painful days to remind me that i don't have a family anymore. I feel like telling my parents that we only live once, and they should see what them fighting with my aunts/uncles is doing to me.

I needed to vent somewhere.

[popcornbird]

Oh Amber. I know exactly how you feel.

Eid (our Muslim holiday) is this weekend. Its a very special time for us, a time to spend with family, exchange gifts, be thankful for our blessings, etc. The thing is, we don't have family here. I have an uncle in Chicago, but my dad and my uncle haven't really had the best of relationships ever since I was a child. I mean...they're 'ok' with each other now...they call each other, and I can see things getting better, but sometimes in the past, they would go for YEARS without calling each other. My mom and my uncle's wife used to call each other.....the 'sister-in-laws', and that was our contact with each other. The brothers (my dad and uncle) didn't talk at all. Now things are getting better between them...thank God. Still, they are not coming to spend Eid with us, nor will we go there. Other closest family member is an uncle who lives in Canada. My dad didn't have the best relationship with that brother either when before we were born. When we were little kids though, things were okay. We would always drive to Canada to see them, and they would drive down here to see us. Last time they came, my dad and his brother had an argument, and they've been pretty much 'cut off' since then. *sigh* We still talk to his kids online, but between the brothers, things aren't too good. The rest of our family all live in other parts of the world. Not ONCE in my LIFE have I spent any holiday with relatives. Not once. When I go to visit my friends on Eid, and they have relatives over, it makes me 'feel' an intense sadness, and makes me wish I had my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. nearby too. I mean, we have SO many friends and a whole community to celebrate with, and we always enjoy it, and always visit and exchange gifts with friends, but family's just different, you know? Its a different feeling, and living so far from them, we don't even get to be together on holidays.

Next time you feel this way, think of me. At least you have celebrated occasions with your family every year before. I have never had that opportunity in my life. I'm thankful for my mom, dad, and brother. For me, that's the family I celebrate with, and we're so close to our friends that they're almost family now too. I still wish our relatives were included in the celebrations though. The most we can do is give them a call, or send them cards.

[CamCamPup33]

Thanks for replying, PCB.

I guess in a way i am glad we have had it together before, but in a way im not because everytime it would end in huge fights..

-Sigh-

[Tonya]

I'm sorry. Try to make the best out what you have. At least your family is alive and well. I understand the frustration though. I haven't celebrated a holiday with my mom in years. Her idea of a holiday celebration is getting stupid drunk.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

Aw, Amber. I'm sorry.

During Thanksgiving (and most holidays, really..) our family always finds something to complain/argue about, and it usually ends up in a fight. They're not really "fun" for me anymore. I always get sort of depressed as the holidays get here. *sigh*

You know you can always talk to me.

[Fox-Gal]

I know what you mean, I two am not looking forward to Thanksgiving this year also.

For years our Thanksgiving where big family events, brothers sisters, there kids etc etc etc. Not this year, this year it will be 4 of us, My husband, me, Father and his girlfriend. It's so small that my father wants to just go out to eat, instead of cooking at home. To me that's not Thanksgiving!!

But we are not on speaking terms with my sister-in-law's live in boyfriend now, because of some damage he did to our home and our feelings, refusing to even apologize for anything. So that leaves my husbands side of the family out of thanksgiving.

And my brothers and their family are in Chicago or New York city this year. Aunts Uncles and cousin are going to be at the cabin in Michigan.

Christmas is going to be the same way also. I miss the days of big family events. Kids running around the house, football games on TV, cooking in the kitchen and just plain family fun.

I guess we just have to make the best out of what we have for now and hope that next year will be better.

[CamCamPup33]

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
It's so small that my father wants to just go out to eat, instead of cooking at home. To me that's not Thanksgiving!!

That's what my mom said. But me and my sister told her we didn't want to. That we would rather just have a bowl of cereal or something.

[GraciesMommy]

I understand! My son just got a divorce and I have 2 precious grandangels and it won't be his time to have them so we have to celebrate on a different day other than Thanksgiving (same with Christmas)
All my grandparents are now gone so aunts and uncles and cousins don't get together any more..it used to be such a happy time..now its come and go IF we can get any together at all...
I'm sorry you are having to go thru this...~hugs

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by CamCamPup33
That's what my mom said. But me and my sister told her we didn't want to. That we would rather just have a bowl of cereal or something.

I'm thinking I'll just go and get one of those pre-cooked Thanksgiving meal that Publix sells, at least this way we will have a Thanksgiving meal at home, like it should be. You could always suggest that to your mom. You should at least have a Turkey on Thanksgiving, not cereal.

[NoahsMommy]

I know it sucks when family acts like that. It makes the times when you supposed to at least get along dreadful.

How about making a new or different holiday tradition by focusing on others? What about going to a local food/soup kitchen and help serve the homeless? It'll make the holiday more personal for you.

I know last Christmas, Wolflady and her hubby weren't able to go home for Christmas and they were alone. I believe they went to church and then to serve the homeless and had a very nice time.

When you get older, holidays change a lot, for the same reasons and it only get complicated. That doesn't make it easier to deal with though. Hopefully you'll be able to find something to make that day/weekend special.

[CamCamPup33]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
How about making a new or different holiday tradition by focusing on others? What about going to a local food/soup kitchen and help serve the homeless? It'll make the holiday more personal for you.

That sounds like a really good idea. Im going to ask my mom about it tonight.

Thanks for the suggestion!

[Karen]

Even if you cannot find a place to volunteer that day, you could spend time looking at the food you have in the house and make a box to bring to a local food pantry. If you belong to a church, call the pastor/priest and maybe there are some elders who will otherwise be alone for the holiday that you could either invite over or go visit. Be prepared to listen to stories!

Other ways you could do something good for someone this Thanksgiving - see http://anysoldier.org/indexORIG.cfm and you can send a care package to a soldier who is away from his or her family.

Or spend time and write a letter to each of the relatives that you are missing. You are getting older, and can have a relationship with them independent of their relationships with your parents ...

Maybe this is the year to start a new tradition. How would you spend your ideal Thanksgiving?

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year, but not as much as my sister-in-law who is due to give birth sometime that week!

[Jamieejo85]

what is the date for thanksgiving? lol im dumb, i dont remember
~jamie

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by Karen
Other ways you could do something good for someone this Thanksgiving - see http://anysoldier.org/indexORIG.cfm and you can send a care package to a soldier who is away from his or her family.

Karen, this site is amazing, I'm so doing this! Thanks for the link.

[lovemyshiba]

I don't know how we're going to do thanksgiving this year either.
My family always celebrates on the Saturday after, because with relatives in Wisconsin, New York, and scattered all over the state, it's just easier. My grandma has dinner, and we all come every year. Last year my cousin in Wisconsin didn't come, and her mom (my aunt) went to spend the holiday with her and her husband. It was different, but still great. We had thanksgiving dinner here, just my husband and I--I even cooked everything myself!!! It was awesome, and we decided that would be our new tradition. His family is small, and all together in another city, so they spent thanksgiving together as well, and his mom came here and went to my grandmother's with us that Saturday.

Anyway, I messed up this year. Working in a restaurant means being open around holidays and on weekends. Thanksgiving really snuck up on me this year, and I went to schedule myself off for that Saturday, and 7 other people are already taking it As a manager, and someone with responsiblities and respect for my coworkers, I cannot just flake and take off anyway. We don't have enough people to work. Two of my cousins had babies recently, and if they're making the trip, I really, really wanted to be there . I hate that I was forgetfull and didn't schedule off earlier, but I've had a lot on my mind.

Dinner on thanksgiving itself will be great, with just us and the pups--we loved it last year!!!! But I will really be missing my family that Saturday.

My sister and my stepmom and I used to always get up early and go shopping on black Friday too--we love it!!! I still go, but it's not the same alone.

Sorry to be a blabbermouth, just wanted to let you know you're not the only one.