Too Many Cats
by Carol Riedel
You know you have too many cats living in your house when…
Every time you open the bathroom door, a little furry creature races past
you and perches on the toilet seat for a drink before you get there. (If
there is more than one perched, you are really in trouble)
Your refrigerator door has its own groupies.
When you open the doors to your house, the cats coming and going resemble
the famous Bull Run of Pamplona.
The rooms in your house are segregated for cats with good behavior, bad
behavior, and I just don't get along with anyone.
Your dogs are humiliated time, and time again because the cats keep rubbing
their scent onto the dogs' fur with their little whiskery faces.
One of your dogs has a pet cat.
When you do laundry you can't open the dryer door to get the clothes out
before a cat is parked on the dryer door, in the dryer itself or already
sleeping on the clean clothes you just folded.
You can't use the can opener or open a can without suddenly feeling like a
giant foot and legwarmer has just engulfed you. (You certainly can't try to
turn around in the kitchen at this point without breaking a leg)
You can't eat anything at all ever without your cats looking at you as if
they are auditioning for a poster pet for a third world country.
In the farthest corner of your house and the most unlikely place to find it,
yes, you find tiny grains of cat litter.
You hear so much hacking from cats trying to throw up fur balls; you think
you have gone to an asthma clinic.
Walking from the kitchen to the living room with a bowl of ice cream, you
muster your adrenaline because you know you will be running an obstacle
course as your cats' fling themselves in your path to the sofa.
You never watch television, work on the computer, or read a book without a
furry creature inserting its little body in front of, on, or around you or
the object of your attention.
You have an expense account to buy those roller brushes to remove pet hair
from your clothes.
And, last but not least, you know you have too many cats in your house when
you never feel unwanted, unloved, or alone at anytime day or night.
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