Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a DIFFICULT boss??

[NoahsMommy]

I'm being really nice by calling her "difficult". Honestly...as an aspiring psychologist, this person really has me worried for my safety if I were ever to make her really mad. She does mean, horrible things to people behind their backs, but I had mistakenly thought I wasn't one of those people until today.

A little background. I work at a vet clinic. There is an office manager (my direct boss) and three doctors. Two of those doctors own the clinic. Of the two owners, the mean, scary one (honestly, the place seems to breed people like that!) has more say in how things are done. There is a rumor that he's on steroids, because of his highly drastic mood swings. He scares the crap out of me.

Anyway, working for those two makes you walk on egg shells all the time. Something I DON'T need with my health.

Our clinic doesn't have the best pet care. Animals are forgotten all the time (for water, walks, etc.)...its highly unprofessional and has driven me insane from day 1. I decided that last week I was going to quit or try for the last time to fix that problem. (All this time, I had been just taking care of them myself...even though I can get in trouble for leaving the reception area.) I devised a plan to change the color of cage tags on cases where the animals were just there for the day and wouldn't be going under anesthesia. I ordered a stamp...which was approved by my office manager with check boxes next to items like: water given, weighed, temperature taken, blanket given, litter box put in cage and then had an area for the tech/kennel help to put their #. The head tech liked the idea, as did anyone I told about it.

On Tuesday, the jerk doctor came up to me and demanded to know what cage tags we kept and what each color meant. I got as far as White=surgery today, no food or water and Blue=animal boarding. I went to Yellow=here JUST for today, thus they are able to have water. I ordered a stamp....Before I finished the "p" in "stamp", I learned that "I am only a receptionist and not a tech. Tech's get to decide who gets water and who doesn't!! Not you!!" I got to hear this (I kid you not) THREE times. I then got to hear "WE HAVE TWO COLORS OF CAGE TAGS, BLUE AND WHITE" FOUR times!!!! (I'm serious) Translation: It wasn't my idea, therefore, its stupid.

We have hired two new employees in reception because my office manager fired one (for not being able to work closing hours because she has kids...again, I kid you not) and another quit because the stress was making her sick (she has lupus).

Today I get in, after school and my first midterm, and my office manager was working in the reception area. She's in a hissy fit (nothing abnormal) and is saying "I'm going to kill whoever the H*L* is doing this!!" and she has two files in her arm. I asked if she was talking about the upside down labels that I'd been seeing? She just looked at me and I said that I thought one of the new girls probably didn't know that she was putting them on upside down. She aparently wasn't talking about that and said, "Well, maybe you should tell her!!!" I said that I would.

Then, one of the other receptionists tells me my stamp is in. (from above, with the yellow cards) I tell her that its no longer going to be a procedure and she asked why. I was feeling a bit frisky, so I said "Because its wasn't Dr. _____'s idea" and laughed. The office manager, who LOVES that doctor, btw, gets all pissy and says, "Well, its HOW you approach him." and stomps off.

I hear later from my friend that she went to the breakroom where she told at least 5 other co-workers that I'm a b*tch and that I'm "very unaccepting of new people at work". She told them all that she's going to make sure I'm not scheduled with the new people for the next two weeks, because I might be mean to them!!! Me?? Me?? I just don't get it. I feel like I work in opposite world. Its just so odd. Especially since I'm good friends with one of the new girls (she has 10 cats and we call each other our "twin") and the other confided in me that she's gay and I'm the only person she likes working with because I'm so nice. Um...where was my office manager when she said that??

I just don't get it. You really don't get anything for being nice, other than learning how to ignore people who aren't.

I know that if I confront my boss, its useless.

Why oh why do I stay there??? Why oh why can't I actually BE a b*itch and not care???

Thanks for letting me vent.

[catnapper]

Oh Kelly, {{{{HUGS}}}} I see that the situation just keeps getting worse. All I can say is: document everything. That way you have a record of events. That way next time you sattempt to get another job you and they try to badmouth you, you can provide proof that you are responsible and a good employee.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Ugh what a total @$$!!! Grrrr, Im not so nice, then again I would have been fired the first time that $^*^#&(* snapped at me

[Tonya]

Originally posted by catnapper
Oh Kelly, {{{{HUGS}}}} I see that the situation just keeps getting worse. All I can say is: document everything. That way you have a record of events. That way next time you sattempt to get another job you and they try to badmouth you, you can provide proof that you are responsible and a good employee.

Document everything....I can't say that enough. I really regret that I didn't document each and every second of the day from the start at my work. You can't just start documenting when you are finally fed up. You never know how far things are going to get.

Try not to let it all stress you out. Just be greatful that you aren't such a stressed, angry, wickid person like her.

[boscibo]

I'm so sorry, I had a difficult boss a few years ago. Same thing - mood swings, unreasonableness, and just a difficult person to be around. I ended up quitting. I wasn't the first person to quit because of him, and I wasn't the last.

I decided my mental health and stress level was worth more than any job. I really liked my job, so it was sad, but I couldn't deal with my boss flying off the handle at really little things. The last straw wasn't really anything he did to me, I witnessed him coming down hard on a summer intern and I knew I couldn't stay employed there.

Looking back on the whole situation I would have handled it differently. I should have talked to the owner of the company or the personnel director, but I didn't do that until after I quit. It doesn't sound like you have that option, since you work for a small office.

Maybe you could discretely start looking for another job, and maybe even find something better? Stress levels at work (plus school) can do a number on your physical health. Take care.

[teenster3]

WOW......I feel REALLY bad for you!
Like everyone else said; unfortunately you do work for a smaller company & the owners seem to be the creeps.
I guess all you really can do is write things down.
Can't she also contact the Better Business Bureau & write to them on how the employees are mistreated there?
I don't know if that is a possibility or not.
It just sounds like you enjoy your job other than the fact that the people running the place are total jerks!
Have outside people complained as well like; for the treatment of their animals, etc.
Maybe there is something you can do if that is the case!
It sounds like you made a difference & REALLY have some great ideas on how to improve tasks around there!
Unfortunately, there are A LOT of rude people out there that don't care & don't want to see others get ahead of them!
They're probably just scared & don't want you to "look better" than them!
Honestly, sometimes, no a lot of times....I just wish people would look at themselves & see how ridiculous they look acting like that!
I think they need a taste of their own medicine. Oh wait.....maybe that's why they're so grumpy in the 1st place!
Good luck, I hope you come to some sort of conclusion & are happy with the results!!!!
Tina

[gini]

Oh, Kelly, she isn't going to change just because you WISH she would.

I would quietly start looking for another job.

YOUR HEALTH *MUST* come first...........and this job doesn't sound as though it is stress free! Stress, exactly what you don't need!

Take care and keep us posted.

[lizzielou742]

Oh, that sucks! I also work with a crappy boss, and I don't even like my job. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that I'm out there looking for a better job, and soon none of this will matter, because I'll be out of there! So my advice to you is, start looking for another job. No boss should make your days miserable. It's not worth it.

{{{hugs}}} and I hope it works out for you!

[NoahsMommy]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels I work for a bunch of creeps.

As soon as one of the vets there, my vet, leaves, I'll move to another job. This should happen in the next few months. She told me to put her down as a reference.

Thanks for letting me vent last night, I really needed to get all that out.

[ScantyNebula]

I know how you feel .. I'm a *nice* person too. If someone lectures me or is a bitch to me, I still can't help but be nice =/ Why is that?? It ways it really sucks, because I find I'm not very good and standing up for myself. I'm sure thats exactly how you feel too at times ..

I'm sorry your in this position .. but I'm glad you're going to leave. I mean, its your career .. why waste more time at that job when you know you want something much better? I wish you much more luck in your next job ..

[kingrattus]

Like others said document everything.. Then go to the Vet Board thingy & hand in a copy of ur documents & leave a complaint. Find the other people who have quit & get them to write a statement as to why they quit or were fired.

Something should be done about them.
Also if a customer complains, get them to write up a statement & secretly give it to u.

With enough people & enough documentation they could get their license's pulled & honestly should...

Just look what that other angry vet did.. he killed the neighbours dog!!!

[slick]

Kelly, I've been out all day and just saw this thread now. I'm so sorry you have to go through this and yes, as Gini says, your health comes first and this stress is something that you really don't need right now.

For the others on Pet Talk, I've met Kelly and there is NO way that she can do anything to make anyone think that she's anything other than caring and compassionate. That really pisses me off that you are being treated this way.

- document everything
- don't say a word or reveal anything to anyone else, even your friends.
- start looking for another job
- try to be nice to everyone there no matter how hard it is. You don't want to be burning any bridges.
- do anything to get yourself out of there without making any mountains out of molehills.

Good luck. Please feel free to email me anytime. [email protected].

{{{HUGS}}}
slick
xo

[Miss Meow]

Kelly, I work for a lunatic too. I think he's manic depressive because he either calls me "Smiley" or goes off his nut at me . I feel better now because I've seen him do it too all his direct reports ...

Remember, their behaviour at the clinic reflects their lack of professionalism, not yours. They would be behaving in this way to anyone else who's ever held your job, or anyone who'll hold it in the future.

If some of them aren't looking after the animals -and that's their business - then they won't be looking after their staff.

I agree with documenting everything. You never know if you'll need evidence and it does help with stress release when you get it all out in writing. I keep a weekly log in my electronic diary that I can just print if needed.

I'd start looking for something else. Risking your health isn't worth any job in the world.

{{{hugs}}} Remember if some of the nutjobs there don't think the world of you, we do

[NoahsMommy]

You have me in tears, you SWEETIES!!!!! Thank you soooo much for being so wonderful!!!!

OK, I'll start one of those online journal thingies. Thanks so much for the idea!

Miss Meow...I'm going to memorize this:

Remember, their behaviour at the clinic reflects their lack of professionalism, not yours. They would be behaving in this way to anyone else who's ever held your job, or anyone who'll hold it in the future.

If some of them aren't looking after the animals -and that's their business - then they won't be looking after their staff.

Thank you!