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Thread: War on Chair-orism

  1. #1

    War on Chair-orism

    The War on Chair-orism, whose goal is merely human occupation of the Chair Territory, has had minor setbacks. General Mowgli of the Catistan forces has been stepping up his attacks on the Chair Territory. The human occupation, which has managed peaceful co-existance in the past with Catistani forces has found that when temporarily pulling back, General Mowgli moves in for a complete take-over. The human occupation setbacks began last night when General Mowgli called in reinforcements from General Zelda of Catraq.



    Their combined forces proved to be enough to repel the human occupation for a time, but as soon as they felt confident enough to slacken their hold on the Chair Territory, human occupation returned.

    A delegate of the human occupation had this to say about the combined forces of Zelda and Mowgli. "It was an utter assault of cuteness! I was certain we were going to have to give up and go to bed, but then they just up and left!"

    General Zelda, in a brief meeting, took the time to answer questions about the union with Catistani forces. "It was plain and simple revenge. After losing in a brief skirmish with the human occupation in Bath, I needed to do something to make up ground."



    General Mowgli declined to comment.

    The human occupation once more has control of the Chair territory, but how long control will be maintained in such a tenuous position remains to be seen. If General Mowgli and General Zelda continue their alliance (according to the human occupation delegate), then the human occupation may have to begin negotiations with the enemy forces. The human occupation is currently stocking up on Whisker Lickin's and Temptations in preparation for negotiations.

  2. #2
    I don't know if negotiations are possible with such outright aggression such as claiming of previously owned territory! It will only lead to more and more demands! I suggest just giving in since you are outnumbered by obviously superior forces Find another chair.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
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    ROTFL!!!

    The state of the Catisani forces is bad. Just recently, we had two members of the local Catisani forces figting among themselves as to which member was the true leader. The power struggle is felt by everyone within the Chair's immediate area.

    And who suffers during these squabbles for power? The Chair!

    Here's an old Associated Press photo of a terrible chair massacre earlier this year:

    Please note that two of Catisani's biggest power mongers are seen at the scene of the crime.

    Sirrahbed, with bleeding heart liberal thoughts like that, humans will never prevail over these terrors!

  4. #4
    Originally posted by catnapper

    Sirrahbed, with bleeding heart liberal thoughts like that, humans will never prevail over these terrors!
    ROFLOL-I am about as far from a bleeding heart liberal as one can get ...just reading that statement almost made me wet my pants ...except when it comes to my kitties - then I am a total wimp.

    PS Sara (ES) is online and I don't want to start fighting

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Kentucky
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    ROFLOL!!! You ALL are too funny!!!

    I too am very very far from the bleeding heart liberal but since I live with a BATALLION of Catasani members I have to go with the flow!!! I have NO territory!! I keep supplied with all the negotiation tools, (treats, nip, toys) but it is to no avail. These Catatoni's do not negotiate but they do take prisoners!!!!





  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
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    13,765
    ROTFLOL!!!

    My advice to the human occupation, it's white flag time. The Catistan and Catraq forces will cover everthing in hair and claim it as theirs. Resistance is futile!

    From Decker with Love

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Location
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    I think this is the funniest thread I've ever read! I LOVE IT!
    -christa


    ~RIP Abby Jan 14, 1995 - July 21, 2005~

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    All I can say is LOL!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Stockton, CA
    Posts
    8,683
    Hee, hee, hee!

    I've been getting 'durty' looks all day -- out of town guests this weekend took over several chairs that had been ceded to cats previously. With the hooman reinforcements, the cat generals retreated under the bed. Now that they are gone, I'm under seige and outnumbered! If you never hear from me again, I lost a gallant battle with furdom!
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    40,169
    That is Funny as Zelda,and Mowgli do make a Dynamic Duo! And the Found Cats Hotel,all the Chairs belong to the Cats!
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Land of the Ducks...quack!
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    General Remus has decided to leave the chair occupation to the rest of you and has opted to go after the more ambtious target of the BED!

    How can one cat take over so much real estate? He must be learning from somewhere....

    great thread and funny pictures!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,419
    Very cute! Good luck to the human forces--I don't think you have a chance!

    Please tell General Zelda that I am so sorry to hear of her loss in Bath.
    Oreo and Molly

  13. #13

    This just in!

    The alliance between Catistan and Catraq has hit a slight bump as General Zelda cuts into General Mowgli's supply lines! General Mowgli has petitioned the human occupation for aid, and, in return, has promised to cede all future claims of the Chair Territory to the human occupation (provided he is allowed occasional visits to the Chair Territory).

    In an effort to keep General Zelda out of General Mowgli's supply lines, two new weapons have been introduced: the AK27 Assault Bottle and the Bubble Bombs. Both weapons are guaranteed to send General Zelda fleeing from the battlefield.



    General Zelda was unavailable for comment.



    "We are pleased," claims General Mowgli, "at the human occupations efforts to protect our supply lines. As long as General Zelda is taking what is not rightfully hers, we will remain united with the human occupation."



    However, sources close to the two generals reveal that General Mowgli has also been very aggressively attacking General Zelda's treat supplies. Whether this is in retaliation or pure and simple greed remains to be seen. The human occupation is taking a neutral stance on the treat issue. According to one delegate, "If General Zelda wants her share of treats so badly, then she'll need to eat them faster. General Mowgli is like a feline vacuum, so by the time he has finished off his entire treat supply, General Zelda is still on the first treat! If the situation escalates, however, we will step in."
    Last edited by Lacey; 07-26-2004 at 11:16 AM.

  14. #14

    Never mind Fox News! I am staying tuned to Cat General to hear the latest on this alliance between Catistan and Catraq!! I am pretty sure this involves some WMD's (weapons of mouse destruction)!! This is SERIOUS BTW, what IS that gooey looking yellow substance next to the treat bowl? Is that chemical warfare?

  15. #15
    That would be the poor, defenseless catnip mousie, which went through water torture on General Mowgli's first night in Apartment. The dear little thing was dunked in the water bowl until it turned the water into catnip tea.

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