Anorexia/Bulimia...

[Desert Arabian]

I think my friend is either bulimic or anorexic and I don't know if I should help her out, and if I should, I don't know EXACTLY what to do!? She's not an extremely close friend, she's a classmate of mine and we talk to each other a lot in school and online.

She is 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 96 pounds. Let me repeat that: 5'6" 96 pounds Now, if you ask me, that is insane.

She is in my gym class, oh my lord, seeing her in a swimsuit is startling. She's all bones and skin with some muscle tone. If I were to hug her, I could reach around her and touch my shoulder blades. If I remember correctly she's in a size 0 and they are even a little loose on her sometimes.

The only thing I have seen her eat are doritos, popcorn, and bagles. I have seen her drink apple juice, soda, and chocolate milk. That's it.

What should I do? Anyone have any advise? Try to get her help, or leave her alone?

(I think I have a full-body picture of her somewhere, let me dig around and see if I can find one...)

[guster girl]

Get her some help. That is way underweight. Do you think she would talk to you? I've never been in that situation, but, I know it's not good to let it go. I bet you could look on line for a hotline or something. Or even talk to your counselor.

[sirrahbed]

Hubby and I are teachers as well. I agree with guster girl - you are being a good friend. If I were you - I would seek out a counselor or trusted teacher at school and let them sort it out.

[Karen]

I agree - talk to her, ask her about it, and if she denies having any problem, talk to a trusted teacher, counselor, or even her parents.

[Kfamr]

I WOULDN'T talk to a teacher/counselor. Those are the last people a teenager with problems wants to talk to.

I'd talk to her, very seriously... ask her about herself.
If she doesn't open up to you, i'd go to one of her close friends or siblings (if any that are close) and ask them about her, and if they'd be willing to help you help her.

[CathyBogart]

HOLY COW! I'm 5'6", 120lbs, and have thought I needed to gain some weight! O.O

Talk to her, and if that doesn't work, to her parents. Seriously...she may be angry tht you did, but she'll understand in the end. Believe me, I've been there.

[Soledad]

I had this same dilemma when I was in 8th grade. A friend of mine was a hardcore bulemic. She used to tell me about it often and I was too afraid of making her angry by telling anyone that I just kept it to myself. Then one day she told me she was starting to vomit blood. It was at that point that I could no longer stay silent. I told a teacher that we both had that I trusted. She talked to my friend and later contacted my friend's mother. It took a while, and my friend was mad at me, but she got the help she needed and stopped hurting herself.

Sometimes, it's not easy being a good friend and you have to make choices that may end up hurting someone or ending the friendship, but better that than not taking any action.

Eating disorders KILL. Remember that.

[popcornbird]

5' 6" and 96 pounds?!?!?! My goodness! That IS insane!!!

I have a friend who is 5' 3'', and weighs 87 pounds. She THINKS she is at a proper weight. She ISN'T!!! Its so scary giving her a hug because I feel like I'm hugging a skeleton.........seriously. It feels like she's going to break! EVERYONE tells her she needs to gain weight.............EVERYONE. She doesn't understand. She keeps saying she doesn't want to EVER hit 100 pounds. She was once at my house along with several other friends, and we were trying to get her to understand that she NEEDS to eat well, and that what she is doing isn't good for her. All she did was insist she likes being thin and will try her best never to hit 100 pounds. *sigh* We all told her that was illogical. We are a pretty close group of friends, so we can tell her practically anything, without hesitating, and without her getting upset. Unfortunately, it DOESN'T work. I don't know how to advise you, but I must say 96 pounds at that height, doesn't sound healthy at all.

[Dogz]

I really do not think that your friend would want to talk to a conselor. Talk to her yourself. If she doesn't want to listen to you, talk to her parents, siblings, or close friends. She needs to understand that she could get seriously ill.

[G.P.girl]

well i'm about 5"6 and 136 lbs (even though i'm trying to loose alot now.) it's alot of muscule (sp?) wieght though
but that's waaay underwieght i think. you should talk to her, maybe bring it up casually.

[PayItForward]

I do think it is a good idea to speak to your friend yourself.

But you are under 18, you also need to alert an responsible adult to the situation.

Maybe your mum can talk to her parents or her doctor.

Good Luck.

[Cataholic]

Soledad tagged it right- eating disorders kill. While talking to her might make YOU feel better, it isn't, in all liklihood, make a difference in her. This is as much of a physological disorder as it is a physical disorder. You should talk to any trusted adult, and let them get/lead/force her into getting some help.

[DoggiesAreTheBest]

This will be a very touchy subject to your friend if she does indeed have an eating disorder. I battled with anorexia for 7 years. It wasn't pretty and I lost alot of friends who tried to help me. Things got really bad for my parents. I was in and out of the hospital for 7 years. Not only is my immune system still suffering from it, but the disease has left many other "scars." The worst of them is my obsession with my weight. I will never get over it.

Talking to your friend may not be the right approach since she will probably turn you away. (People with eating disorders do not want to be helped. They are in denial.) It makes me wonder where her parents are. I would probably be dead today if it weren't for my parents. They battled the disease with me! You say she eats chips and drinks. Then she is most likely Bulimic.

I am not sure if you can trust the councelor at school to keep your concern confidential. Perhaps voicing your worries to them would make them contact her parents and hopefully get that poor girl some help!

Best of luck to you.

[catland]

She is blessed to have you as a friend since you care about what happens to her.

Talk about this to your mom or another trusted grown-up. That is what they are there for.

[lizbud]

Originally posted by catland
She is blessed to have you as a friend since you care about what happens to her.

Talk about this to your mom or another trusted grown-up. That is what they are there for.

I agree with this approach. It will probably take an involved
adult somewhere along the line to get her help, if she needs it.
If you really don't know this girl, how do you know if she has
medical problems or what they might be? She does seem very
thin to me, BUT, it could be a lot of things.