I am.

I was home by myself last night as Shane was on duty, so naturally it's the night that the Huge Scary Spider from Hell came to visit.

I went into the bathroom and in the window, between the glass and the fly screen, was the biggest eight-legged monster in the world. And it was staring at me. I was busting to use the toilet, which faces away from the spider, so sat down twisted my head sideways under my arm, to try to see its reflection in the mirror. The second I made a noise the spider ran. I jumped and nearly made a hole in the ceiling (and a mess on the floor).

The spider and I had a staredown at the OK Corral. It won. In round two I managed to wind the window open a little, but Mr Scary Spider wanted to hang around. I got a box of tissues and tapped on the screen - hey, who wants to live in a noisy neighbourhood? It ignored me. I tapped a little closer and it finally put its eight legs into a forward gear and went looking for a new home. I wound the window shut so hard that it'll probably never open again.

For the next few hours I got the creepies and imagined that spiders were crawling over me. Am looking very glam with my four hours' sleep